Nicely written so far. First we need a violent revolution, which is probably around the corner.

I think there is a problem with your link.

We don't need a revolution and we don't need a new declaration of independence.

There are mechanisms in place to exact change without the need to shed blood.

What I want to know is why HS teachers are having kids write different declarations of independence. Sounds like a push toward more "democracy".

I think I would write one liner saying that the one we already have is just fine, but I'd get rid of the Federal Reserve Act.

Originally posted by ThirdEyeofHorus
What I want to know is why HS teachers are having kids write different declarations of independence. Sounds like a push toward more "democracy".

I honestly don't know why. It's supposed to be our own declaration of independence from something. Supposedly, it teaches us rhetorical structure.

Also, the declaration I just wrote is declaration from not the government, just from its corruption. I tried to emphasize that as clearly as possible.

Originally posted by ForeverDusk

Originally posted by ThirdEyeofHorus
What I want to know is why HS teachers are having kids write different declarations of independence. Sounds like a push toward more "democracy".

I honestly don't know why. It's supposed to be our own declaration of independence from something. Supposedly, it teaches us rhetorical structure.

Also, the declaration I just wrote is declaration from not the government, just from its corruption. I tried to emphasize that as clearly as possible.

edit on 10/21/2011 by ForeverDusk because: (no reason given)

That's cool. I just look for the progressive agenda in school. Then again if it makes one appreciate our Declaration of Independence that's a good thing. And there is a lot wrong with what's going on in politics, in education, in econonics, etc. We do need to get back to the roots of our Founding Fathers and dump some of the Progressive bureacracy and regulations.


I wish you the best in your class.

I've been a lurker on this board for year, never joining. However, after reading this well written piece of literature, I decided to join, if to not do anything but to help other people find this thread. This is exactly what the United States of America needs.

"There are differences to note, however. We are not declaring a new nation or constitution, as that is far from being the solution to our frustrations. No, rather, we are affirming the founding principles of our current nation that enabled it to excel and become one of the freest and most populous in the world, as well as the world's only superpower. We must at once assimilate the rebellious spirits which motivated our Founding Fathers and utilize that"
-OP

Occupy (City) , Have you needed a declaration? Well here it is, this is at the core of what the 99% want. Spread this, everyone needs to see this.

Kudos to you, A true American patriot.

P.S. Since I'm new, I don't know how to star and flag, However if I did know how you would definitely have both.

Originally posted by nineix
reply to [url= by ForeverDusk[/url]

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With respect, I feel it's over-written.
I think you tried too hard to be overly wordy in extending sentence lengths and overly complicated language to stretch out the piece so that it would meet the guidelines for length in the assignment.
That critique is not intended to insult you. You've done a pretty all-right job. You can, however, say the same thing with much more economy and effect. Getting too flowery, convoluted or obscure can put your reader or listener to sleep.
Just say'n.

All-right work though. You should consider exploring creative writing.

edit on 21-10-2011 by nineix because: spelling and grammar corrections

I know, I have a tendency to be too wordy. My teacher has never said anything about it which only makes the problem worse, because I just keep doing it.

I think the schools should be teaching the students the facts and contents of the original Declaration Of Independance first, rather than having them write a new one!! S/F thank you op for the thrad.