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Anybody else way too much of an idealist?

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posted on Oct, 20 2011 @ 05:41 PM
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A big issue of mine is that I'm way too much of an idealist. I always dream about how things could work better. I just can't accept the way things are in the world, they're too messed up. But I run into major issues in my life because of that inability to accept things. Cognitive Dissonance has become my best friend as I hold conflicting views about life. My head is extremely logical, and logically pushes the cookie cutter "American Dream". Yet, my heart has no interest in that and just wants to be happy. My heart wants to form bonds with people, love, and just be happy (I said that twice to stress the importance). In a way, my life is like a continued struggle between my head and my heart.

Life is truly about perception. The world is in the eyes of the beholder in that every person has a uniquely true view of the world. This creates a situation where every person is correct and wrong in their assessment of the world. Right from their own perspective, yet wrong in an absolute sense in that there is no "correct" or "incorrect" point of view. For the past 2 years, I've made it a point to have a positive perception of the world. Trying to see the best out of everything, and seeing the world in the highest possible light. I believed that societal change for the better was right around the corner. Well, in the past few months, that view has totally fallen apart for me. No significant change has occurred, the world still sucks, and no significant change seems around the corner. Sure the Occupy Wall Street thing seems great, but what's stopping it from going the way of The Tea Party protests, where they just died down? I'm not trying to be cynical, I've just gotten my hopes up so many times only to be let down.

Sometimes I wonder if there might be something seriously wrong with me because I have no desire to work. I struggle with accepting organized 9-5 jobs because I'm very much a free spirit. My attention span changes on a whim and I don't enjoy being tied down. In my idealist eyes, the ideal situation would be one in which a person does not have to work in order to survive, eat, drink, etc., but could work to contribute to society. In other words, where housing and basic necessities were free but people all worked to improve the world. The Zeitgeist model of reality, if you will.

I'm on antidepressants just because my emotions became too much and I spent my days just miserable. But they address the symptoms rather than the cause and while I can't actively feel, I still feel down, if that makes any sense. Instead of feeling sad, I feel a tinge of sadness, combined with a whole lot of apathy. That's exactly what I feel right now.

I'm going to a local community college for 2 years because my family cannot afford 4 years of a university. I'll probably transfer after 2 years and might have to take out a student loan. I don't like to judge people, but I'm going to be blunt. At the school, there's a diverse group of people, but many people with multiple piercings, mental issues, self-esteem issues, academic issues, etc. The people who are like me, going there to save money as a sole reason, are few and far between. As a result, I have a hard time relating to many of the people who go there.

The two things that are most important to me, a social life and relationships, are nonexistent. I'm not going to lie, my high school experience sucked for the most part. But in my last year, I finally found a group of friends that I "clicked" with. Since I'm staying local, I still see them occasionally, but miss not being able to see them every day. I'm trying to find friends I "click" with in college. But, people go to their classes, then leave. Very rarely do people stick around. I make an effort to talk to people who do stick around, but have yet to find any friends that I really "click" with, like in my last year of HS. I have people I'm friendly with, through a sport, but just don't "click" with them.

As far as the ladies department, it's not empty but is severely lacking. I'm extremely picky, and settle for no less than who I truly want. My standards are high, but not ridiculously high. I have to be attracted to her, she has to have a decent personality, and there has to be a spark. I can count at least 10 girls in the past year who have met that criteria. Not many, but still a significant amount. The issue is that none of them like me. A few had liked me at some time, but I screwed it up. I struggle with approach and how to act. Many times, I come on too strong and they get scared away, never to return. But some girls I might like are sort of closed off and get creeped out if I approach them to talk because they don't know me. That's another idealist thing that'd be great. In an ideal world where there are no social boundaries, so you could just go up to anyone, even people you don't know, and talk to them like you've known them for years. I realize ladies have to be careful, though. I mean well, though. There are girls who like me, but I'm not interested so I don't get involved. I really want to find that special someone, though. I'm 18, and probably shouldn't feel this way, but feel like I'm running short on time. I don't want to be 30 before I find someone.

I guess all this boils down to is that I'm an idealist. I'm an introvert. And even though I try to fit in, I still stand out as different than other people, I have sort of a unique personality. And oftentimes, what people don't understand, they fear. I'm not saying that I'm like super evil or whatever, I just want to find a group a friends, the right girl, and find meaning in life. It's said that happiness comes from within, and that might be true in a way and for some, but I cannot truly be happy alone. I might enjoy a few hours alone to reflect and think, but anything more than that and I get incredibly depressed and lonely. I guess what I'm asking is if any of you feel similar to the way I do and have any advice to possibly help me along the way of my life.



posted on Oct, 20 2011 @ 06:10 PM
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I have a lot to say to you, but if I broke your post down line for line and said what I had to say, I'd be here all night. So I'll just sum up what I have to say in a simple way.

Conflict, whether or inner or outer is a product of self-service. To transcend any conflict you have whether it is a conscious or subconscious conflict, you can adopt an attitude of serving others from a unity-awareness.

Now, you may not believe in unity or know much about it, but it makes serving others a lot easier, and it makes serving others make more sense. Either way, unity is not the path, service is. All is energy. Energy is the ability to do work. You can either work for yourself or work for others.

I'm gonna hook you up with the combo pack smithjustinb special, and it WILL help you if you have an open mind and accept this service I am offering. Trust me, this applies directly to your situation:

www.abovetopsecret.com...
www.abovetopsecret.com...

and here's a website (as part of the combo pack smithjustinb special) that has helped me a lot in the past:
www.ahalmaas.com...

In short, Unity and service to others is THE salvation.



posted on Oct, 20 2011 @ 06:11 PM
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reply to post by mossme89
 


There's no such thing my friend.

To quote Bernard Shaw:
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

My advice, keep on truckin!
edit on 10/20/2011 by Deafseeingeyedog because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 20 2011 @ 06:13 PM
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To be honest mate, you are 18 years old. Don't take things too seriously because you've got a long way to go. And during that time you will see and experience things that will change your ideological position so don't for one second think that it's cast in concrete.

The only remedy I have for you is to get out there and get the experience. Yes there are bad things but there are also very very good things and you won't really be able to decide until you've been there.

Cheers and best of luck.



posted on Oct, 20 2011 @ 06:31 PM
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reply to post by mossme89
 


Yeah man. You're not going to like it but I mean it in all seriousness and with all sympathy... Grow up.
Believe me it's the only thing you can do. I was 18 once (I think) and I gotta be honest, it sounds like you're my ghostwriter.

Just because 18 is legal adulthood doesn't mean your done. Or even close to it. Everyone I've known through that time was a totally different person at 20 than they were at 18, and completely different again at 22. I'm 30 now and when I think back to 18, or hell, 25 even, I find myself comically embarrassed at the memories.

Just live man and keep striving for that ideal and cheer if you make it, but love yourself even if you don't. Because in that 'trying' you have made yourself a unique and interesting individual. Which matters much more than a cookie-cutter Disney life.

I know that advice isn't ideal but you gotta live it to believe it.
edit on 20-10-2011 by xFiDgetx because: Readablity



posted on Oct, 20 2011 @ 06:37 PM
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reply to post by smithjustinb
 


Thanks for the links. I briefly skimmed them and they look interesting, I'll have to look at them in depth when I have a chance.

reply to post by xFiDgetx
 


Thanks, I probably need some tough love
I just try to be the best person I can be, and try to have the other stuff fall into place. Not saying it doesn't bother me, though.



posted on Oct, 20 2011 @ 06:39 PM
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Originally posted by myselfaswell
To be honest mate, you are 18 years old. Don't take things too seriously because you've got a long way to go. And during that time you will see and experience things that will change your ideological position so don't for one second think that it's cast in concrete.

The only remedy I have for you is to get out there and get the experience. Yes there are bad things but there are also very very good things and you won't really be able to decide until you've been there.

Cheers and best of luck.


Pee on!


Get off the anti-depreesants and drink Sassafras tea instead.


There's kNOwTHING wrong with you. Would you rather be one of the sheeple?


Ribbit



posted on Oct, 20 2011 @ 06:43 PM
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reply to post by mossme89
 


i feel as if i wrote this myself, word for word




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