Originally posted by spaznational
Originally posted by UnlikeAnyone
How I deal with it? Well....I try and talk to people about it, but they just think I'm nuts. My husband is the most blatant about it. He says "Even
if you ARE right, and something is about to happen, what do I care? It's not like I can stop it anyway, does that affect what you do today and
tommorrow? No. Because if nothing happens, you've wasted a lot of time worrying, and if something does happen, then congratulations, you've still
wasted a lot of time worrying for something inevitable anyway".
I think that puts it into perspective, it's a lot easier to deal with if you don't focus on it, like if you focus on the mundane things of everyday
life. Getting up, getting the kids dressed, making breakfast, going to work, going to sleep, running errands, paying bills...etc. Boring, but
I find days where I sit on ATS and everything starts making complete sense *at the same time being completely nuts*, that at the end of the day I look
around my house and it's a mess and I feel like crap because I got NOTHING accomplished.
I'm sorry to hear that taking care of your kids is boring.
You might have clinical depression. Talk to a doctor about this. Please don't let your kids live in a mess while you pursue esoteric dreams.
Holy Cow! That was weird!
I'm reading through and catching up on this thread because it's fascinating and it's been a couple of days...
I'm nodding and uh-huh-ing, at the computer screen to most of the posts' I COULD HAVE WRITTEN', the similarities are immense really and
and I was thinking about yelling at my mum...(who's 66) on Friday afternoon, she was baby sitting for me.
She looked down her nose at (to what 'I' perceived) the way I live, we're quite untidy too.
But I took offence.
IT'S TIME TO LET THE LITTLE THINGS GO (at 36 I'm not likely to change)
The house is never spotless for more than a day and quite often there's a couple of dishes ( I lied!, sometimes there's sh1tloads!
) on the sink.
We are a family of 6, and certainly not the neatest people I know,
We are all healthy
We are all happy
My kids never get sick and if (rarely) they do they're never down for long
None of us are over weight
None of us are on medication
None of us have allergies of any kind
All of us do our fair share
All of us contribute to the space we're taking up in this building, in some form or another.
We're noisy and rambunctious
We do cartwheels in the lounge room and handstands, yes, even me!
We have wrestling matches and punch each other in the arms
We cry together and laugh even harder together
We all stick up for the little guy and never go out of our way to deliberately inflict pain on anyone
We respect people
So what's the fuss about the mess?
The lady is not nuts, and to suggest in such a blunt fashion that she seems to need assistance of the psychological kind, is quite unnecessary, and
you have no idea what your talking about.
My husband was exactly the same, it's quite heartbreaking at first, then, someone else at work mentions the same things as I discuss with him.
He comes home, and is a little more open, he changes slightly, for the better with a more open mind. He's no convert, but he is at least respecting
that I educate myself on things which he would not, and that is okay.
I don't want to learn and then build a boat, he does, so he is, and that's okay.
The point is, life in general, knowing all that we do, can seem boring and incomplete, the waiting game.
How is this 'awakening' any different in the environment of one's household?
Male or female?
Aren't we all taught what it is to be a good mother? Clean well, cook well, take care of the kids well, take care of your husband well?
Reversely husbands are supposed to work well, be strong, look after their family like a good man would. Provider and protector.
How many of these seemly perfect scenarios fail?
Check the stats, I think you'll be surprised, here it's something more than 50% of first marriages fail.
Like me, (I'm assuming) she feels responsible for keeping her family connected to more than just 'their box', it is a responsibility which comes
with costs, even when relating real world events which we all should know about.
The costs sometimes are disbelief, outright rudeness, and opening yourself willingly to judgements, even from those you love.
That actually doesn't matter if you forgive them for not being on the same page, it's okay for them to NOT agree.
What matters is she should discuss it, then ask (if the other person is not agreeable) why they don't, what is their opinion?
There is nothing wrong with open dialogue from differing view points, it grows everybody just a little bit.
To make a uneducated diagnoses and insult her mothering, is unwarranted.
Please be okay with me telling you to pull your head in.