[#Occ] Hope?

14th December 2011
Bodies, scattered, tossed mercilessly onto the ground. It would seem as if they were sleeping peacefully, if not for the deepening pools running away; draining their life-force. Bruised and battered corpses, who once stood tall and mighty, shriveled in defeat.

Dead. Hundreds and hundreds dead in mere minutes.

They had come from out of nowhere, flying down upon us. Animals – that’s what we were to them. Sight. Aim. Shoot. Kill. We were their prey. They were our predators. Because they were from the government, they were allowed to fire at us. We have no identity – we were just those who went "rogue."

Specks of flies muddied the Sun rays gazing down upon the lifeless, the corruption alike that of the country. The fleeting birds dared not come near in fear of that too, seeping through them.
They were truly alone. It had only been a few weeks ago where they all had gathered: we had huddled together where chatters buzzed and brightened the atmosphere, where people united, where people became friends. We once fought to be heard! Now, it was like a dry barren. It was...empty. Silence had fallen: only the splatters of the tears hitting the ground could be heard. A genocide had occurred; a genocide against the freedom fighters.

"The last are somewhere over here!" shouted a familiar voice to the soldiers. As I peeked around the corner, I gasped, falling back unto myself. It was the same guy who had shot first at the soldiers, who had started this massacre...who had broke out violence across the globe.
“Good job,” a soldier replied while tucking the green paper into the man’s top right pocket.
He was on their side!

It seems that our friends are the first to betray us.

It's said that when one looks into the eyes; they are the window to the soul. Yet if you would look into mine; they are devoid of hope, devoid of any emotion. A fallen slave...that is my true identity now.

Kay...that wasn't any good but I just wanted to get a first thing out of my head (even if I had to force it)
Nope..definitely didn't like this meh.

Its not bad..don't be so hard on yourself.

very good..actually.. for a very short story

reply to post by gabby2011


Blehh...I just don't feel like there is any emotion behind the words...it felt forced.

reply to post by BlackPoison94


Good job BP -- I think it's more difficult to craft a dark or hopeless story than one more uplifiting; I know that I usually take the easier way and attempt to make something hopeful. Your writing style and the way you paint a picture with words is very engaging. I could've read more, and I guess that's the best of things -- to leave your reading wanting more!

Good story.

reply to post by argentus


I usually don't even think of an idea...I try to let it just come out. Heh, I have to disagree...I find darker stuff easier to write. Odd Well thank you...I guess I could have expanded on details and description wise but oh well...writerz block sucks.

reply to post by BlackPoison94


Very nice. I go throught he block too at times.. Just crawl on and it will pass then you cane walk

reply to post by BlackPoison94


I'm not a writer, but I write. I find that the more I write, the easier it gets, and most times when I encounter 'writer's block' is when I am seeking a solution -- that is, preordaining the end result. When I like........ no LOVE...... it the best is when I feel that I'm just a passenger along for the ride, an observer, noting what is happening. That circumstance is rare, but wonderous.

Great short story BP, S+F!

I think you are channeling the collective conciousness of the 99%.


Here is further inspiration:

reply to post by BlackPoison94


I have really enjoyed this short piece !! While it's true that it is very short, it is also much to the point and leaves me hungry for more. You are talented !!!

reply to post by argentus


My writer's block has lasted over a year now (for story writing that is) and around a couple of months for thread writing. I used to write a lot when I was younger...stopped and for the last of couple of years started writing again. I love writing...getting into a story and being sucked by it; that too is a wonderous feeling.

reply to post by v1rtu0s0


You know I love all your videos you find Virty...thanks

reply to post by SonoftheSun


Indeed it is short..I must admit that. Thank you

reply to post by BlackPoison94


It does provide some insight as to things around us that effect our every action. Not bad at all BP, hope you find your true inspiration soon. $&F

reply to post by BlackPoison94


I actually made that one.