Empathy

reply to post by OtherSideOfTheCoin


First I have to say I am not special or claim to be. Secondly, yes I can walk into a room of my freinds, family or strangers and feel the energy they are throwing. I can not describe what happens to me or the feelings that I get but I know they are not mine. I am not asking you or anyone else to beleive me, I know what I know, and I have nothing to prove.
That being said let the light through guy.....it's nice on this side of life.

PLPL

reply to post by apushforenlightment


I guess some people have issues with inadequacy . Others are scared of change and like their little world just the way it is and others just have a closed mind and nothing short of a miracle will change their views .

I am happy on my road and will not feel afraid when I reach a fork

I know several strong empaths that have moved themselves out to the woods to live because it was just too agonizing to be close to people in town. They can actually hear words coming from people's thoughts and have a hard time dealing with the thought not being the same as what comes out of their mouth.

I agree it is a human ability that we all have access to however, as with most abilities, some do it "better" than others. I was brought up in a time where most of the current labels (ADD, ADHD, etc) were just a glimmer in some aspiring Doctor's mind. Lucky for me, my mom was a strong empath & helped me understand how to know the difference between my feelings & other people's feelings. I had a hard time with people lying (about anything) until I understood that it was their right to lie &, depending on how the lie affected me or mine, was able to look at it as a useful observation of the character of that person- much like we do with other types of visual observations.

My mom was also a "sender", which helped me recognize the different energy that each person has & understand when it wasn't mine. The hardest part I had to learn was how to "empty" myself of all those negative emotions. At the time I was "filling up" with them, I was helping the venting person to let go of them but I was unaware of how to let go of them myself! This was before the internet was such a prominent feature in most people's lives.

I find that the people who can actually help are the ones who have lived it. They understand & can give another the tools to work with issues that are slowly being embraced by doctors & currently being proved by science.

The comment I hear from most empaths? "I thought I was crazy!" I was lucky to be born to the parents I had because they knew what was happening!

I have spent the whole day reading everything I could on empaths and shed many tears as I have finally recognised myself for who I am and am finally able to understand why I am the way I am.

For years I have struggled with something that I wasn't even aware had a name nor did I know that I wasn't the only one. I never even made the connection that these "feelings" weren't mine.
It makes so much sense now.

My wife and I just got done talking about it and shed a few tears with eachother.
Why?

Because for years now I have begged her to get more sleep.
She works 12 hour shifts as a R.N. and doesn't get to bed at night until midnight most nights because she is a night owl.
She has to wake up at about 5 am. That's working a 12 hr shift on five hours!
I have told her time and time again that when she does that, it ruins my day.
I feel tired and run down all day long. She always just kind of brushed it off, not really being able to wrap her head around exactly what I was saying or how serious I was.

I told her, " I actually FEEL tired for you. I actually FEEL cranky and run down"
"When you don't get enough sleep it affects me too".
She would never listen and I can't say I blame her. How could anyone wrap their heads around something as silly as that?

All I know is that it is very real and I am very happy that I discovered this and that it has a name and that there are others. I am not alone!!

Thanks again.

reply to post by Screwed


Isn't it a great feeling when You finally get some of the answers you have been searching for ?

Good luck to you both

reply to post by MentorsRiddle


This post really touched my heart because this I never wanted to put some label on it and have people think I was nuts, but all my life I have been able to feel what others are feeling. I won't even know someone is home and I can feel something other than my own emotions. If I get physically close to anyone I will find that I am feeling whatever they are feeling. It sounds crazy I know, but I can feel a shift in my own emotions and feelings to something completely different depending on who I am around.

Makes it overwhelming sometimes, especially since I live in a house with five males.. (two are teenage boys, one pre teen.. and of course my hubby) the only one who isn't overwhelming to be around is my 6 year old! LOL

Originally posted by OtherSideOfTheCoin
reply to post by Screwed

 

Let’s take out the paranormal then, the OP’s empathy is not the result of taking catapres nor is it in anyway a gift is it something that most humans are capable of thanks to our very humanity.

No, let's not take out the paranormal, please. I joined this site last night just to weigh in on this. I typed 2 rather detailed examples of an empath's experience which I was witness to as they unfolded. I can say for 100% fact that the impressions were coming in to my husband (the empath) from places hundreds of miles away, and in ways he could never have known.

Empaths are different than being empathic. Empaths feel other people's emotions as their own. They get blindsided. Sometimes, from strangers. Sometimes, from great distances. In my husband's case, sometimes when sound asleep!

I will give you this- I would not be as convinced something like this was real if I had not witnessed it time and time again. I can validate that this happened and AFTER he told me exactly what he was getting, that he contacted the person and it was verified.

Guess what? It happens a lot. And guess what else? I have not known him to be wrong in his assessment.

Please do not dismiss out of hand the existence of something you obviously have no experience with.

It's real.

And, Screwed, I'm glad you now have a name for what you have been experiencing. Once you 'get it,' it makes it much easier to come to grips with the events. Just understanding what it going on can make a big difference. My husband has discovered that talking to the person sending out the emotions helps both of them. Just a thought. It's really comforting to know someone does know exactly how you feel.

reply to post by Screwed


Once you know that this happens to you you can control it and protect yourself so it you dont get overwhelmed or still be aware and stop all negative energies.Otherside of the coin is coming at it from a logical way and this is where it stops for him.This cant be fully explained by logic it just happens.He thinks it is feeling sad for someone if they get hurt or sick but we all know it goes well beyond that. He was right in one point everyone can do this.You just have to practise it like everything else.

I find that most people who have not experienced empathy on this level can't truly understand - it's like explaining the color orange to a person who has been blind from birth. They can feel an orange, smell an orange & even taste that orange but it that really going to help them see that it's the color of those new curtains you bought?

I know there are a lot of empaths that have read these posts & have actually felt the emotions of the responders over the internet but are thinking,"I can't feel this unless I'm close to people... can I?" The answer is yes, it can be felt from the posts!

I wonder how much of this receptivity is inherent to all peoples, or a genetic trait in some and not others, or
if we have a base level of natural empathy, which for some, according to their early life experiences, becomes more highly developed than it does in others?

I have read some hypotheses that some people seem to have a more highly receptive "antenna", and that most often correlates to early life experience and their upbringing. That people who have a parent (often the mother) who had problems or who the child felt they needed to be taking care of, they develop that emotional antenna.

It hit home for me because my mother was depressed when I was little and she tried to commit suicide a couple of time in front of me before I was six years old, and she would beat us rather seriously. So I saw myself as responsible for keeping her alive, and for being able to tell when she was entering a bad state so I could keep my brothers and sisters safe before she "blew". It may have been what made me hypersensitive to any and all emotional changes going on in her.

I continued to rely on that ability as I grew up, to help me get around. Like I used to go door to door looking for work between the ages of 9 to 14, and sometimes the people who opened the doors were NOT safe people! Being highly receptive enabled me to know who I should trust and who I shouldn't. In one case I escaped a guy I sensed was dangerous, and he was arrested one week later for breaking into a womans apartment and raping and beating her.

As an adult, it wasn't so much a problem for me, because I learned to compartmentalize, and still do. At times it is useful, at times it can be detrimental.

I don't know whether I would encourage a young person struggling with this receptivity to develop that or not.

The biggest struggle is the mixed messages!!!! Humans say one thing verbally and often feel so much opposing inside, that sometimes I find myself listening to what they are feeling rather than what they are saying.
This is problematic because if they are not saying it, they either don't want you to know it, or they are in denial themselves for personal reasons- so responding to that or acknowledging it can make them very upset. (why I prefer working with animals, more straightforward)

So I just learned to ignore all those whispers underneath, the images passing through, the emotions, and focus on what they are actually saying. Even that doesn't totally make it easy because sometimes people want you to pick up on second degree or suggested meanings and get mad when you are taking them literally only.

When that happens, I want to answer them- oh, you want me to read what you really mean underneath that??
You want to go there? 'Cause then I'll tell you about your father issues, your struggle with your wife, your worry about your teen right now, and your impending midlife crisis??? You want me to acknowledge what's in the dark room behind your words, that is going to go further than you might be like!!
No, they are responsible for getting across what they want me to know or not clearly- I am not going to pick out what parts of their hidden agenda they are okay with sharing and what they are not.

The whole question on whether this is a gift or a curse seem futile to me. It can be good sometimes, bad others, and being able to pick it up is one thing, and what you do with it is another!

Good morning ( UK time ) all .

I have come across this great website , full of info .

www.empathguide.com...

I haven't read it all yet , but it looks very interesting

I am so happy to see so many other people in to this. Sometimes it’s a very lonely feeling in my case at least. Don’t get me wrong I am very popular in friends and social life, everybody things that I have a “good ear” I cant listen others people problems and help. Well the honest truth is that in most cases just feeling what they want to hear from me and use it to make them feel better. I have lost a very good friend because of this “great gift” We have a big argument (business and money involved) and I have “see” things in his mind that hurt me a lot, we were friends from kids now we are 39 with families. Same with my wife I love her with all my heart and trying very hard not to “hear” anything bad from her. Another problem from me is that when I discuss with a person about something always my mind is “ahead” I know what the other person will told me before he does it’s a very awkward feeling makes me really lonely.

Thank you all.

reply to post by MentorsRiddle

Great post! I'm also very empathetic, and it affects my life daily...since childhood. My parents also fought a LOT and it was physical. I too got my share of whipping's deserved or not, a lot of times I could feel it was frustration being taken out on me, not that I was actually in trouble. I got so sensitive to my dad, that all it took was hearing a certain tone in his voice, as well as the feeling in the house. That sensitivity spread to other people, and situations. I believe because of a sort of survival technique, it opened that emapthy into all areas of my life. I've learned to deal with it sometimes, but when anything emotional is going on I can feel it in the atmosphere. I agree it's hard to tell if the feelings I'm picking up are other's or my own. So I am a bit of a hermit On the other hand it has helped me to help other's including my children & grandchildren, by being able to put myself in their place so easily. It is a blessing and a curse for sure, but I wouldn't want it any other way. Thank you for posting on this topic.

I am sorry I haven't replied to these posts - I am traveling right now, and when I get home I will read where I left off.

The computer I am currently on is glitchy, and I can't see everything - I'm actually supprised I found a post reply button, haha.

But, I have seen that there have been many replies - I appriciate everyone reading and getting involved. I'll reply to any questions or comments as soon as I can.

~Matt

reply to post by MentorsRiddle


Im like you.. To me its a curse, it often makes me feel paranoid. Maybe I am? I often feel that they're not being honest when I ask about how they feel... But I also most of the times hit the nail and they crack.. I dont know what to make of it, I have also been tested for add/ahdh (adhd tested two times, one at an early age and one recent) and they found nothing, and the search ended there. I can't work with other people, especially at workplaces with many employers. And also, I have started to avoid many people, main reason is that they give me nothing in life, but also because I feel it made me so sensitive that I actually considered suicide once...

To be open to others in how they feel and be sensitive to "the other" in "others" is what puts the civil in civilization. It often can be very uncomfortable. If your like me, you want to "fix things", and solve all the problems. Good luck. But not wanting to even give a damn at all to me shows one who's own spirit is still very immature. And it can be very rough to give a damn. But you do have a choice. All I can say the effect of making a positive difference, ideally with out anyone knowing you "did anything" is a pleasure unto itself. Try it. It will make you feel good in a way nothing else can.

reply to post by arbiture


I think you misunderstood me here. Due to a very hard childhood and only bad experiences when it comes to work, and social matters, it is very easy to give a damn about giving a part of myself to others.. It made me hate myself for a while, I have just began to love myself for a change. The ones I do care for, gets my love and care that they deserve. You know all to well how it is to have outbursts for no reason, to feel sad for no reason. Feelings is like the wind, you can feel it but not see it.

At this point in life, I only care about my partner and my unborn baby and myself. Those who cross my path and sees me for who I am and feels that little something I give them - makes my love for myself grow bigger. But, sadly there's only a few...

No need to be patronizing either.. You of all should know better...

Originally posted by arbiture
To be open to others in how they feel and be sensitive to "the other" in "others" is what puts the civil in civilization. It often can be very uncomfortable. If your like me, you want to "fix things", and solve all the problems. Good luck. But not wanting to even give a damn at all to me shows one who's own spirit is still very immature. And it can be very rough to give a damn. But you do have a choice. All I can say the effect of making a positive difference, ideally with out anyone knowing you "did anything" is a pleasure unto itself. Try it. It will make you feel good in a way nothing else can.

This is a suggestion. You do what you like.
I'm also the kind of person who want to help and fix everything. Some of ous are meant to have that urge. Do what you can but don't go to far and become a martyr. This life is a long Maraton where you sometimes need to take it slow. I have worked myself to the bone and come home exhausted from fixing everyones problems. There is a limit. Try if you can do things that make them learn themselves so that you are not overwhelmed. It's not your job to fix everything. It is everybodys job as a collective.

I choose to be antisocial sometimes and not be as social as my friends/colleges. I need it for my sanity of mind. Namaste

reply to post by MentorsRiddle


I know how you feel. I didn't know about my empathy untill a year ago when my mom an aunt showed me.
You can learn to block out the emotions of others, and you can also "share" your emotions with others.

I have always been a seneitive and understanding to others emotions and just recently found i am an empath, I am able to take away others feelings of being sick if my connection is very strong with them. I am able to do this over great distances as well, as wel as walking in their shadows and protecting thm at night . I can astral travel, shape shift for a short time, have had a premonition in a dream which came true .
i have done a reading on my friend many years ago and found out that she had a small child around her which then she then told me she had a miscarriage many years before and she had never told me. i am able to fight with both light and darkness empathically and share my feelings . i am able to feel what one special prson is do to me as well over a great distance. I am a wiccan at heart and i also have seen myslelf standing infront of the akashic records guarding them. i have felt a friends heart being torn in two and felt his pain so much it hit me like a tidal wave of emotion.
and yes i know i am an empath and at times it is a curse but it is a gift as it helps me understand my friends too.'