Empathy

Well, I don't know how spiritually-minded you are, but I'm now operating under the theory that empathy (at least in some situations) is a form of energy transfer and that some of us with the gift/curse of empathy were put in the situations we were, in order to act as a sort of energetic counterweight to the negative energies of the people around us, and that when we feel their pain/sadness/anger/fear we are actually drawing some of "it" (it being an actual tangible substance in the invisible "spiritual" world around us) out of them and consequently "bearing their burdens" for them. They become lighter and we become heavier. So we "sacrifice ourselves" to make life easier for the people around us. At least, that's the belief that helps me cope now The real question is, how do you transmute/uplift the bad energy so that you don't fall apart under the weight of it and/or just transfer it back to other people?

This thread must be rather entertaining for random observers who have little idea what we're talking about

reply to post by elliotmtl


Beleive it or not I have entertained that idea several times.

I am very spiritual - and I have actually thought about that many times in my life.

I imagine all the passer by's are probably like, "Look at those two paranoid, delusional, schitzo's. lol.

It's ok

For those that think that - they have no idea what things like this is like.

reply to post by MentorsRiddle


I don't have the same syndrome you do, I think I have some kind of odd combination of ADD and mild autism but, no one ever sent me to a psychologist and now as an adult I really have no interest in having a random paid professional put me in a box.

The funny thing is, I seem to have achieved the same kind of emotional stasis and detachment that you got by drugs, but by an odd matrix of mild intra-reinforcing addictions to caffeine (which literally causes mental detachment and calms the social anxiety of being an empath), junk food (which pwns the liver, and in association with the 3rd chakra numbs empathy) and excess sexual stimulation (which saps base energy and makes everything dull and boring, but easier to cope with)...and as these behaviors reinforce each other, I can't seem to get rid of one at a time, but if I stop all of it my brain quickly descends into a neurotransmitter hell of depression and sense of "WTF is the point of life", even though my real value system does not care about any of these physical pleasures, my brains' value system makes me feel suicidal without the neurochemical "drugs". I guess its cowardly of me not to shake these habits and go back to being an active, social empath, but I haven't found an emotional anchor that convinces me that I won't just get caught up in repeating the whole cycle of getting near-mortally hurt by empathy and needing bad habits to numb the pain.

But this is why I still hang around ATS sometimes, you can find random meaningful conversations in the midst of all the "OMFG Barack Obama is an alien clone of Black Jesus and on 11/11/11 he will come riding in the clouds bareback on comet Elenin to usher in the new world order of 4d technocratic Sirian empire!!!!!11!"

reply to post by elliotmtl

But this is why I still hang around ATS sometimes, you can find random meaningful conversations in the midst of all the "OMFG Barack Obama is an alien clone of Black Jesus and on 11/11/11 he will come riding in the clouds bareback on comet Elenin to usher in the new world order of 4d technocratic Sirian empire!!!!!11!"

This is the best thing I have EVER read on ATS.

Empathy is not really a gift as such, everyone is capable of empathy which I have always took as meaning the ability to emotionally put yourself in another’s position and see things form their view. This is not some paranormal gift, it’s something that comes with practice and you will find it’s something that most nurses will be able to talk at great length with you about as we do it day in day out, I think I even wrote an essay on it. You probably have a high emotional intelligence that enables you to find yourself being epithetic more than others or that you find it easy to be empathetic but I would not say it’s a gift, with practice anyone can do it. There is nothing “special” about being empathetic it’s just something that one does form time to time and may often confuse with sympathy. Also empathy is not so much some kind of paranormal connection or any kind of energy transfer, or whatever you want to call it between you and the person who you are being empathetic towards, its more about how you interpret their communication to extrapolate what they are feeling and going through and acting accordingly.

It’s interesting in your thread that you blamed this on the pills gave to you for Tourette’s, the pill in question being a small dose of Clonidine Hydrochloride (Catapres). Without wanting to sound too sarcastic, I am looking at my copy of the British National Formulary and “empathy” is not listed as a side effect. Depression however is and this may explain why you felt a lack of emotion when you were on the medication. As for how you felt prior to your parent’s separation I would say that was not empathy that was just you being angry and saddened by the bad atmosphere in the family home, a side effect of depression would also exacerbate this feeling. After finding out what was really going on with your family its possible that you have since put this down to empathy, and your probably at least in part right, but most kids who have gone though a family separation would report similar feelings. Again this is not in any way unusual however your medication may have made you depressed and thus you would have felt like you were emotionally empty.

I think you are reading too much into empathy, trying to establish it as a “gift” when it is in fact just something that people do, most probably don’t realise it because they probably really have to use it. If you work in a environment where you are dealing with extreme emotions then you will start to realise that anyone is capable of empathy with some guidance. It’s not a gift and a curse it’s just part of being human.

Sorry OP.

reply to post by OtherSideOfTheCoin


I appriciate your comments - and your thoughts. I truly do. So please do not take my next comment to a negative place - as that is not my intention.

It is not that I look at someone and feel what they are feeling. I can just be sitting there, and I'll feel their emotional state change. It comes off of them like waves in the ocean - blasting against me. It feels like a real physical effect, and not some type of emotional response given a situation or sizing up another person's perspective.

It is a real physical thing.

To this day I have old friends that I managed at a store come up to me and say things like, "How did you always know there was something wrong - or what I was thinking? No one else did."

I just smiled.

I feel it - not just see it or think of it.

There are times I can even tell what a person is thinking about. It's a real physical feeling.

As for the depression - this occured before I started taking the pill. The pill helped me.

If it wasn't for that pill I wouldn't be the person I am today - and probably not nearly as successful in life.

The depression ended when I started taking the pill - because it let me mellow out, and have a deeper connection with things without getting overwhelmed.

reply to post by OtherSideOfTheCoin


Well, when 95% or more of the people you come in contact with seem to be completely oblivious to the way they make others feel, while you sit back and can almost visibly see the emotional energy moving around the room and wonder why they all do it to each other (and you), you have to assume that you're different somehow...either you have a greatly enhanced capacity for empathy, or everybody around you is knowingly cruel. Personally I choose to believe that most people are just oblivious, which makes me different by definition.

reply to post by elliotmtl


We are all different, empathy is not paranormal don’t try to pretend you’re all different because you can talk to someone or see someone sitting on a bus and say to yourself “she looks sad, angry, hurt, annoyed....” and its due to the emotional energy. It’s down to emotional intelligence which is not paranormal we all possess it to some degree. It is probably harder to find a person incapable of empathy atoll than it is to find a person who is capable of empathy. You are not special just because you can be empathetic.

reply to post by MentorsRiddle


No that is your perception, that is not what it happening your subconscious is recognising the subtle changes that occur when a person’s mod changes. If you think you are physically feeling these emotions then you would first have to be emotionally connected to the person otherwise you are only feeling what you want to feel. Its a confirmation bias.

reply to post by OtherSideOfTheCoin


Your username is insightful.

Emotional intelligence and "the gift of empathy" are descriptions.

Of the same thing.

Seen from both sides of the coin.

Together we are more complete

reply to post by OtherSideOfTheCoin


You speak of these things as if you have absolute knowledge on what you are talking about, when you do not.

You are not me, nor do you have my mind or perceptions.

There has been points in my life when I wish I didn't have this thing, but that is no longer the case.

I will concede to the fact that it is possible it is something going on in my mind - and that's all.

But, facts have pointed otherwise. There are multiple friends and family I have that could give you unusual stories of things I have said or done around them.

But when it comes down to it - you will not beleive any way. You come across to me as a person who chooses not to beleive - that is untill you experience it for your self.

I appriciate your ideas, but it is obvious to me, and anyone else who is like me, that you have no idea on the subject matter you are speaking about. You are only flashing your ideas, which are not based on experience.

reply to post by MentorsRiddle


I have experienced it myself, I utilise empathy every day, I am empathetic with the woman who has just been told that she has three months to life and is telling me how she is struggling to come to terms with telling her 3 young kids, I am empathetic to the embarrassment and discomfort of a old man who can no longer control his bladder who I now have to catheterise. But I know that this is not something paranormal I know that empathy is just part of being human.

Its not that I don’t believe you, I believe you are a very empathetic person, you should be a nurse. But that empathy comes from you being you not some pill and it does not transcend form some kind of paranormal ability. Everyone is capable of empathy there it is not a gift, it is just part of being human.

It is amazing, to be able to identify our own feelings and those of others, and it is frightening for a child to overcome without some sort of help! Too bad the days of Shaman's have passed in that they would have recognized this from the start and then also realized your gift was one of a Shaman!

I get it as bad myself where my demeanor can change on a dime and my inability to control my expressions can send me locking every door imaginable.

I remember my first visits to doctors, everything from claiming I had "poor eyesight" to GOD only knows what else (I could imagine if I read those notes now!)

My father chose extreme discipline as a "cure" until it came down to his life or mine, I was 14 when I left. I went from a household of 5 children down to being the only child in my new environment. I was taken in by a woman who worked with wild animals with a rehab facility at her home. This is where I learned how to relate to people, through animals; they do not trust man at all unless man can open up emotionally! The messages are too sporadic and conflicting to Nature! I went from all D's to nearly all A's and just a few B's in-between!

Much later in life I went to college and kept a 4.0 GPA, and I am no different now than I was then, charged to the hilt emotionally! I was accused several times of having a photographic memory based on my testing but it is not real, I am able to read the words from the emotions of others as I am engaging around them.

Food impulses are worse, often my drive for food is based on those around me! If it were me I would have chocolate daily!



Here is my description of what is happening. I walk up to someone, say a cashier or maybe just a pedestrian, their emotions usually reach me within the same time as my eyes see them. If they are agitated they are met with a very agitated version of me, and then if they become confrontational I give them equal if not a more "heightened" aspect of their behavior. Witnesses, such as friends and so forth have no other explanation other than I am "engaged" with everyone around me. If a person is receiving with a more loving nature they meet the most loving human on the planet! I am almost bound by their emotional states during our exchanges!

Needless to say I live far from people and those times I did not I was very isolated from others. I am probably one of the most gregarious people you could meet, but then I would admit it is when I am most fearful that I begin to "act out". I get nervous and I get loud and excited until I am able to redirect my focus or get out of the environment; most times I run!

I was once in a Corporate setting and I was so overwhelmed by company meetings that most of them I would have to leave within the first 30 minutes. Thankfully I was covered by my immediate supervisor under such occurrences as it was part of my interview process that this was discussed and understood. I worked under several physicians and was fortunate for their ability to understand this problem even though it was not a definitive one.

Only once I had to take anti-psychotics to stop me from dying, I literally folded outward and could not contain myself. My pancreas went haywire and my system tried to shut down; pancreatitis is about the most painful thing I have ever gone through in my life! I did the meds, spent time in the hospital with a complete turn-around and had to consciously awaken to the fact that some people are toxic, I was then working at a job I loved but the conflicts of Sociopaths around me turned their attentions on me. I submitted my resignation and I have not worked a traditional job now since 2008. I do not earn money as I have also discovered that money also has a "hold" on us in a very sinister way! We are all so numb to that one though, I just consciously choose to refrain from it as much as possible.

Interesting thread! I think of Autism on this level! I think of all ADD and ADHD as most definitely connected to the harmonics of the emotions. This is why every drug out there is designed to cut us off of them! Without emotions we could not grow and learn past the event, we suspend emotionally where we took the drugs and we cannot move beyond that point for fear of going through it all again!

I don't mind the excess creativity, actually it has been easier this past year since we went into the "Acceleration of Spirit" (Mayan Pyramid Calendar Model of the last platform), where we are actually experiencing in one week what we would normally experience in 20. I think that doubled recently because it is almost done, October 28! I find that my creativity can be limited and "cut-off" simply by rationalizing our current situation. Years before I was so impulsed by creativity that I had no control over it and had to express through art-work as a means of overcoming it all! Now I can just sit back and imagine it, work it out, and then let it go!

reply to post by OtherSideOfTheCoin


But it's not just understanding how they feel - or feeling sorry for them, or sad for them.

It's truly feeling what they feel.

The only way I know to describe this is to say I have a different conciousness than you.

Things I can perceive is something you can't perceive.

Someone who is like me will understand what I'm saying.

It's like you seeing a color that no one has ever seen before, and them demanding you describe it to them.

They might say ,"that is blue!" but no - you perceive it differently, you see more to it than just blue.

I'm trying to make since of this here for you - I don't want to come off as an ass....

Perhaps I should say empathy is the best name I can call it - just as you seeing a different color, you could could call it blue, although it isn't.... just so they can begin understand

reply to post by Greensage


I relate to this a great deal!

A possible link between Tourettes and empathy is an interesting angle I've never heard before. I enjoyed reading your thoughts on this!

There may be more to it, in the case of Tourettes, because the emotions one is experiencing (be they self originating or originating from another) are processed and expressed differently from one person to another. A person may feel the same level of stimulation, and not express it with any ticks, movements, verbalizations at all. Some may express it verbally or physically, in ways which are more or less socially acceptable or considered "normal".

I am highly empathic myself, and it seems possible that could be linked to being a Highly Sensitive Person, first coined by Jung, I believe, then more recently found to be a genetic trait which exists in 15 to 20% of the population (in humans AND in animals!). It is linked to a particular way the nervous system works in such people, that makes them more reactive to outside stimuli physiologically (and even having skin that is more porous than those without this trait).

This is why they are "highly sensitive", and I have come to think that it might be not anything of a magical nature, like some sort of undiscovered "energy" that comes off of us, but rather sensual input that is often underneath the radar of our conscious awareness. Like sounds have wavelengths that effect us, but we can't consciously hear them, or smells affect our body without being aware we are smelling them?

I can be standing in a checkout line in the store and suddenly start feeling the inner effects of anger, for example and yet have nothing in the world I am angry about! If I do that self analyzation and find no source, I can turn around and find the person behind me with a steaming angry face on and guess- I picked it up from them. They have something else going on.

But they didn't say anything and I hadn't seen them..... so how could I have picked that up?

It was in working with horses that the possible solution to that occured to me. Horses are extremely sensitive too. (probably as most animals are, but my particular experience has been more in depth with them). They change their behavior and reactions in reflection of those they are near. I found that you cannot fake that you are calm when you are not, or pretend to be happy, confident, or clearminded when you are not. The horse knows and will act it out for you and react to it, despite your attempts to behavior differently.

The reason is that their bodies react to the subtle signals of changes in physiology or biology. The smell of adrenaline floats in the air when your body produces it and their body produces adrenaline in response immediately. This developed because they are prey animals and this way their body can ready itself to flee or fight when an unseen predator is crouching nearby stimulated by the intent to chase and kill.
It's a useful survival mechanism!

In the example of my grocery store anger contagion, my body may have picked up the smell of specific hormones, or the vibration of a faster heartbeat or sound of blood pressure, and adapted accordingly. Mirror neurons may be coming into play....before I have even registered consciously any signs of the emotions in the other (and even perhaps, before THEY were conscious of what was happening in their body!)

My "hobby" then became learning to master this ability (curse, trait, gift, whatever value you wish to put upon it).
I have my own whole hypothesis and exercises I have worked out for myself on this. But keeping yourself aware of your own play into this intermingling of emotions is important too- remember that some emotions do source with you, stimulated and produced by your perceptions and thoughts, and that others may be influenced by them as well.
-I just add this because there is always the risk, with the awareness of this ability, to then always assume all your emotions are coming from someone or somewhere else. That just ends up in projecting heavily, because not all that you feel is someone elses.

What it came down to for me was, "emotions are not yours or mine- they just are." The constant search to figure out who is responsible for these emotions is useless and a waste of energy. Even if they came from someone else, they are yours now to deal with. They may choose to project and feel "exorcised" of them as they get the cathartic view of you expressing them instead of they, but how you express them makes all the difference for you, and them.

Bluesma,

If I could give you a flag for your post I would.

I did give you a star however.

I think this is one of the most probably theories I have ever heard as to why this is happening to me & others.

Just a note, for everyone who has posted, that an Empath is different from a person who has empathy. Look them up in the dictionary and see for yourselves, then this thread will make more sense.

Those who have no empathy are considered to be sociopathic/psychopathic; therefore we find them in Politics and other high positions, esoecially where they can have power and control over, just out for themselves and no one else.

An Empath can feel sensation or vibrations from others in a somewhat psychic way.

Originally posted by OtherSideOfTheCoin
reply to post by MentorsRiddle

 

I have experienced it myself, I utilise empathy every day, I am empathetic with the woman who has just been told that she has three months to life and is telling me how she is struggling to come to terms with telling her 3 young kids, I am empathetic to the embarrassment and discomfort of a old man who can no longer control his bladder who I now have to catheterise. But I know that this is not something paranormal I know that empathy is just part of being human.

Its not that I don’t believe you, I believe you are a very empathetic person, you should be a nurse. But that empathy comes from you being you not some pill and it does not transcend form some kind of paranormal ability. Everyone is capable of empathy there it is not a gift, it is just part of being human.

You my friend is not getting it. There are things you have to experiance to understand. Some people have been outside the box that you probably haven't yeet and have been changed because of it. You don't need to belive them but I don't get why you waste time writing your idees on a thread where you obviously don't get the discussion and just think it's a figment of the belivers imagination. Be more tolerant of other peoples views and experiances. You are like a kid that understand that 1+1=2 and the other people here is discussing advanced mathematics on college level. Lol now im being intollerant against you. Read instead of pushing your ideas. You might learn something. One day you might experiance similar things. Namaste

Originally posted by MentorsRiddle
Years later, through research, I discovered there was a name for what I was: an Empathic.

I could feel others emotions.

Sounds like love to me.

When you truly love, you feel others emotions because you care enough to let them in and consider them.

New label for an old time truth.

With Love,

Your Brother