It is amazing, to be able to identify our own feelings and those of others, and it is frightening for a child to overcome without some sort of help!
Too bad the days of Shaman's have passed in that they would have recognized this from the start and then also realized your gift was one of a Shaman!
I get it as bad myself where my demeanor can change on a dime and my inability to control my expressions can send me locking every door imaginable.
I remember my first visits to doctors, everything from claiming I had "poor eyesight" to GOD only knows what else (I could imagine if I read those
My father chose extreme discipline as a "cure" until it came down to his life or mine, I was 14 when I left. I went from a household of 5 children
down to being the only child in my new environment. I was taken in by a woman who worked with wild animals with a rehab facility at her home. This
is where I learned how to relate to people, through animals; they do not trust man at all unless man can open up emotionally! The messages are too
sporadic and conflicting to Nature! I went from all D's to nearly all A's and just a few B's in-between!
Much later in life I went to college and kept a 4.0 GPA, and I am no different now than I was then, charged to the hilt emotionally! I was accused
several times of having a photographic memory based on my testing but it is not real, I am able to read the words from the emotions of others as I am
engaging around them.
Food impulses are worse, often my drive for food is based on those around me! If it were me I would have chocolate daily!
Here is my description of what is happening. I walk up to someone, say a cashier or maybe just a pedestrian, their emotions usually reach me within
the same time as my eyes see them. If they are agitated they are met with a very agitated version of me, and then if they become confrontational I
give them equal if not a more "heightened" aspect of their behavior. Witnesses, such as friends and so forth have no other explanation other than I
am "engaged" with everyone around me. If a person is receiving with a more loving nature they meet the most loving human on the planet! I am
almost bound by their emotional states during our exchanges!
Needless to say I live far from people and those times I did not I was very isolated from others. I am probably one of the most gregarious people you
could meet, but then I would admit it is when I am most fearful that I begin to "act out". I get nervous and I get loud and excited until I am able
to redirect my focus or get out of the environment; most times I run!
I was once in a Corporate setting and I was so overwhelmed by company meetings that most of them I would have to leave within the first 30 minutes.
Thankfully I was covered by my immediate supervisor under such occurrences as it was part of my interview process that this was discussed and
understood. I worked under several physicians and was fortunate for their ability to understand this problem even though it was not a definitive one.
Only once I had to take anti-psychotics to stop me from dying, I literally folded outward and could not contain myself. My pancreas went haywire and
my system tried to shut down; pancreatitis is about the most painful thing I have ever gone through in my life! I did the meds, spent time in the
hospital with a complete turn-around and had to consciously awaken to the fact that some people are toxic, I was then working at a job I loved but the
conflicts of Sociopaths around me turned their attentions on me. I submitted my resignation and I have not worked a traditional job now since 2008.
I do not earn money as I have also discovered that money also has a "hold" on us in a very sinister way! We are all so numb to that one though, I
just consciously choose to refrain from it as much as possible.
Interesting thread! I think of Autism on this level! I think of all ADD and ADHD as most definitely connected to the harmonics of the emotions.
This is why every drug out there is designed to cut us off of them! Without emotions we could not grow and learn past the event, we suspend
emotionally where we took the drugs and we cannot move beyond that point for fear of going through it all again!
I don't mind the excess creativity, actually it has been easier this past year since we went into the "Acceleration of Spirit" (Mayan Pyramid
Calendar Model of the last platform), where we are actually experiencing in one week what we would normally experience in 20. I think that doubled
recently because it is almost done, October 28! I find that my creativity can be limited and "cut-off" simply by rationalizing our current
situation. Years before I was so impulsed by creativity that I had no control over it and had to express through art-work as a means of overcoming it
all! Now I can just sit back and imagine it, work it out, and then let it go!