My perfect girlfriend = my perfect nightmare

(For the shorter version read the 3rd comment which is my 1st comment` after this)

Ok don't have enough time to go into details but me and my girlfriend are very much in love with each other. Unfortunately though we had a tough year one year we were together (hard times and some personal problems that made it hard for us to be happy all the time)

Anyway I ended up being very depressed for a while and was away at university, not too far but enough that I couldn't see her every day. I was also working nights at bar to 5am so slept a lot in the day. Basically she got very mas with me for never being around to txt her or talk on the phone and when I became depressed it was incredibly debilitating, I always went to work as I needed to earn money, but anything else I didn't do, I became a boring shell of my former self from the life at the party to a guy who just stayed in getting no pleasure from anything.

Down the line now we broke (stayed friends as we are best friends as well) up as a temporary measure until I sorted myself out. I moved out of my awful student house and into my brothers great flat all to myself while he tries to sell it while living away at his girlfriends. At this time I start hitting the gym a lot, my depression fairly quickly is erased, turns out as an active person when I went to uni and got lazy my body kinda # down without the endorphins from exercise. There are issues in my personal life which do upset me a lot on a day to day basis, but something as simple as hard exercise keeps my head at a good place where it doesn't get me too down.

But my girlfriend is still mad, she doesn't understand my depression and is really upset that I didn't love her for this period of time (not true) and doesn't get why I would rather lie in bed all day than go out with her and it isn't that just I was in such a pit, worrying about my personal issues that I had. She understands that I was going through some seriously hard and awful stuff, but can not understand why I acted how I did ie: not going out with her, eating out, talking to her as much when I saw her, txting her oh man she hates that I dont txt her enough or back enough even when I'm busy at work etc, socialising I admit I was a rubbish bf in that period of time.

Now basically she is unsure about me and issues I have in the past. I have overcome these and my depression totally. When we last met she was really impressed at how fit I am (I had an operation a while ago and was bed bound afterwards for many weeks and being small anyway I ended up very skinny) she was almost offended that I got fit and muscular while we were on a brake, but this is what keeps me happy and I wanted to be perfect for her as I really love her with all my heart. She suddenly seems to be unsure though and needs more time, ok I say give her time, but this was ages ago, she can't accept I'm a changed guy who's a positive person, I want to take her out, meet her friends and mine, do everything we missed out on when I was depressed basically, but she seems to be too worried to get back with me and I am stumped totally.

We agreed to stay friends during the break up and the last couple weeks she has been not replying to me at all. Then out of the blue she wants to meet me near my place to go shopping, I have slept in though and can only meet her if I roll straight out of bed and while trying to win her back I make sure I look my best when I see her. So we don't meet and she isn't getting back to me and I duno why. She is a real decent, loving girl who has been through a lot with me and has helped me through very hard times and this has effected her a lot, but after putting all this effort into helping me I don't get why she would give up now that I'm in such a great place. I love her so muchm we both love each other so much, I'm 24 and have always been the kinda guy to not ever wana settle down, but I know I want to spend my life with her now, she is my one true love, she has always been very passionate as well and I feel bad that she has had to watch someone she loves go through such hard times when I wasn't well. This is all just so awful atm not knowing whats going on.

I've written her the most heart felt letter I have ever written anyone to give to her tomorrow, if it doesn't touch her heart I honestly don't know what I'll do. I've never cared so much for someone before, I've been in relationships twice as long and been fine when it ended but this girl is the love of my life.Sorry about the length I just had to write this down n get it of my chest. All my male friends have been no use im afraid and one girl friend I have wants me to ditch her another helped a bit. I just needed to get this of my chest. Is such a complicated story I could only get the main points in. Just wish me luck please for tomorrow, if my love letter to her explaining how much I love her fails and she still is unsure I really am guna be an emotional mess, I'm so nervous about loosing my best friend and the love of my life, sorry I duno what else to put. Recently I have sorted my life out totally and am always calm and positive about every situation I facem but this means so much I am on the verge of sheer panic.

Please wish me luck, send me good luck in your thought (I duno if it works but I need help here) I really don't know whats going to happen, I just know that I need her. I'm just and empty shell disguised as a person without her, with her I have the life of 1000 men though. I need this to touch her how she has touched me I beg the powers on this earth to help me

you have my luck for the next few days, do what you wish with it.
i hope all works for the best man, enjoy.

Ooooo that is really long, the process of writing it helped me a lot still tho. I don't expect anyone to read it all, basically I'm trying to win my gf over now that we are on a break. Shes the love of my life and I need her. I'm giving her a letter tomorrow explaining my love for her and everything about her and if it wins her over I will finally be complete, if not I will be an empty person and my life will feel like its pointless and life will have become the most sinister upsetting thing in the world.

Basically please wish my luck and send me positive thoughts, I need them badly.Thank you

reply to post by WiZKiD111


Thank you very much, it might sounds silly but that actually means a lot to me

Don't go too overboard. Women don't like that.

reply to post by clintdelicious


Based off my experiance. Take it for what you will.

She sounds like a strong minded woman. That's cool.

But is she trying to meld you into the man she wants, rather than the man you want to be?

Therein lies the issue.

Myself? I am looking for a woman who accepts me for who I am...not one she thinks she can make me.

reply to post by TDawgRex


Sorry I haven't included much in here (believe it or not lol)

She loves me for who I am believe me, I can't go into details but I hid something from her from the start of our relationship so its my own fault and she has helped me through a hard time in my life, if I stayed how I was I would have been dead by now, she was literally my guardian angel and is scared I might go back to my old ways. I ghave changed so much now tho, I feel like her friends don't like me as they don't know what we have been through and understand the situations, they just see me as someone who has upset their friend when really we love each other and she helped me overcome my problems, because this is very personal tho they obviously don#t unmderstand this is in the past now and just think shes going to go through the sane hardship when really we are about to really start living now I have my life back. Very complicated.

Basically I've F'd up but fought through it and am better, but she is worried that I wont stay how I am. I just love her so much ahhhhh

Im sorry to say that my advice is stay well clear. If she is the sort of person that doesn't understand (or, sadly, more likely the kind of person who just isn't interested in mental issues) then you are well shot of her. I know this may not be well received as you clearly love her but think about it........

If you have been this way before, there is a good chance that at some point in the future you may well feel like this again and what then? Have her go through the same reactions and questions for you? That would just make you feel worse.

Personally, i would tell her to grow up and get over herself. The world shouldn't be "me, me, me" and if she loves you, surely she should have picked up on the fact that you weren't yourself - that should have been her concern, not how it affects her.

Mind you, possibly this response is why i have not always been that successful with the ladies! No problem getting them, big trouble keeping hold of them!

Good luck man, just be sure you're not pursuing this again because it's "familiar" and instead, because you love her. You really have to be honest with yourself here.

reply to post by clintdelicious


Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Good luck my friend, I hope the universe takes care of you, best wishes!