[#Occ] Dreamscape world, page
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ATS Members have flagged this thread 4 times


reply posted on 15-10-2011 @ 04:00 PM by TsukiLunar
reply to post by radarloveguy



You might want to fix your punctuation so it is easier to read. A lot of the value is lost otherwise.

Other than that, its good.


reply posted on 18-10-2011 @ 07:37 PM by Thurisaz
reply to post by radarloveguy



lol well done. As I read it I was like...omg this is like a fantasy dream...and then I got to the part where the alarm went off.





reply posted on 19-10-2011 @ 05:33 PM by argentus
reply to post by radarloveguy



Good job! It was a sweet dream, no? I like the conversational way that you write -- very natural and readable.
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