Low: I'm asking for girl tips on a damn conspiracy website

I cannot believe I'm asking ATS for dating advice, but being as I have recently become comfortable with the site, and seeing as the majority of ATS is smarter than most of the population, I figure I'd give it a shot. I cannot get a girlfriend! Maybe my expectations are too high, maybe I'm just not confident enough, but I'm 16 and have not had a single girlfriend. You can see what I look like (that eye patch was just temporary), and I get things like "Oh, your sexy," and "Nice bod," from good looking girls all the time! I just cannot talk to them. I don't know why! I guess I'll always be that weird kid in high school who always talked about philosophy and conspiracies who never went out with anybody! Maybe it's because I don't flirt, I just see flirting as belittling women, in my opinion you should become friends with the girl first, without the intention of dating her. Whenever I see a guy hitting on a woman, it just makes me mad, I don't know why. I really am weird aren't I?

Im 20 and im exactly the same as you just a bit older, had a girlfriend for a year and a half now i cant get anything, i get comliments all the time, im a bit lost atm aswell..

reply to post by MegasAlexandros


Go to google, search for Neil Strauss, Style, Mystery, The Game,

That is more than enough if you get and read his book.

Plus, you're completely normal, your only young, and chatting up girls for one reason is belittling them but having a nice chat and making friends is awesome.

Peace

PS learn a few magic tricks or hand writing analysis to give you something to say after hello.

You two should be more about school than girls right now. Later in life you will begin to understand that.

When you have a job, enough money to support your prize woman, and enough money to possibly take care of the child in case she traps you into pregnancy, then by all means find yourself a woman.

Don't waste your time on something that may only last for a little while.

Plus, you don't want to deal with headaches of the jealousy from the women. And they can get mean.

Make sure you are stable, secure and success before jumping into something. Do it now, and you might go a down a path you'll regret later.

1) School
2) Job
3) Secure
4) Stability
5) The Car
6) The House
7) The Wife
8) The Child
etc...In that order....

Go to google, search for Neil Strauss, Style, Mystery, The Game,

That is more than enough if you get and read his book.

...and THIS is why you do not ask for advice on relationships, here.

reply to post by mattrat


Yeah, I feel like this site is filled with people like us. We're the lost children of promise, we grew up so beautiful, so intelligent, so... full of promise, but we thought too much and rebelled. This our punishment for our intelligence, a life doomed in a world where questioning the status quo and unlocking intelligence is looked down upon. In this world, it doesn't matter how nice and smart you are, just how mean you're willing to be to get what you want.

Originally posted by MegasAlexandros
I cannot believe I'm asking ATS for dating advice, but being as I have recently become comfortable with the site, and seeing as the majority of ATS is smarter than most of the population, I figure I'd give it a shot. I cannot get a girlfriend! Maybe my expectations are too high, maybe I'm just not confident enough, but I'm 16 and have not had a single girlfriend. You can see what I look like (that eye patch was just temporary), and I get things like "Oh, your sexy," and "Nice bod," from good looking girls all the time! I just cannot talk to them. I don't know why! I guess I'll always be that weird kid in high school who always talked about philosophy and conspiracies who never went out with anybody! Maybe it's because I don't flirt, I just see flirting as belittling women, in my opinion you should become friends with the girl first, without the intention of dating her. Whenever I see a guy hitting on a woman, it just makes me mad, I don't know why. I really am weird aren't I?

First of all what planet or dimension are the girls from that you have been talking to? Ok, just kidding. Look... you're 16, which means that social situations are going to be very awkward for you, but don't worry, that is normal. Worry about school and other long term things that will effect the rest of your life and don't worry too much about girls. As you get older and more mature you will find it easier to talk to girls and you will eventually find a good girlfriend. Believe me, after high school life starts to fly by, and High School IS NOT real life, so don't fall into the trap of thinking that it is. Enjoy your youth and have fun, because later on in life you will wish that you did.

If nothing I said up there is working for you then get a nice car and put some 26" rims on it... the girls with come runnin'.

Originally posted by Manhater
You two should be more about school than girls right now. Later in life you will begin to understand that.

When you have a job, enough money to support your prize woman, and enough money to possibly take care of the child in case she traps you into pregnancy, then by all means find yourself a woman.

Don't waste your time on something that may only last for a little while.

Plus, you don't want to deal with headaches of the jealousy from the women. And they can get mean.

Make sure you are stable, secure and success before jumping into something. Do it now, and you might go a down a path you'll regret later.

1) School
2) Job
3) Secure
4) Stability
5) The Car
6) The House
7) The Wife
8) The Child
etc...In that order....

edit on 14-10-2011 by Manhater because: (no reason given)

Uhm, mind you i already own my first home, im not worried about any of the above, just worried about happiness.

reply to post by LadySkadi


If you've read the book what is your opinion on it

reply to post by mattrat


Umm, this is directed to the boy who is 16 and the one who is 20. They are too young to be thinking about girls right now.

Props too you if you own your own home, but I wasn't talking to you. Was I?

reply to post by MegasAlexandros

A quote of yours from someone else's thread about defining manliness.

I think what really defines a man is chivalry, or some sense of respect and self respect. This applies even to homosexual/ bisexual men. It means giving up your seat to a pregnant woman, helping someone in need, etc.

You will be just fine. You have the right idea.
You're young, your self confidence will build.
I'm a woman, but my son always had the prettiest girlfriend in school. His thing was to not pay any visible attention to them. When the other guys were acting up, and strutting their stuff, he acted like the girls weren't anything too special. He hung out with the guys that were wearing all black and punked out, buy he stayed clean cut, and wearing off-white was his thing. He was also very tough, so no one ever gave him flack for going against the grain.

He stood out as different, and always treated the girls nice, and with lots of respect. But he also would NOT ever let them think they were special, until the right one was interested enough. It was actually his high school girlfriend that told me that's what made her want him - his aloofness, and he never flirted. Friends first. They lasted a couple of years, and stayed friends. That's a long time for a first girlfriend of a teen.

The girls took notice. They went after him. He grew up knowing all the prettiest girls in town.
Play it cool, and keep up the chivalry. Have patience. No head games. There's lots of time.

From Manhater:

Umm, this is directed to the boy who is 16 and the one who is 20. They are too young to be thinking about girls right now.

True, but you cannot stop hormones, or young men. To tell them NOT to think about the girls, will just make them think about them even more

reply to post by snowspirit


Wow, nicely said. Really did make me feel happier. Maybe I should just stop worrying and let the chips fall where they may.

reply to post by MegasAlexandros


Hardly anyone gets it right the first few relationships either. So many people, especially when young, play a lot of games with each other's heads. You're bound to run into girls that are a little "unstable" if you rush into anything. If you take your time getting to know them, it'll be easier to back away from them if they turn out to be somewhat nutty....

Originally posted by Manhater
reply to post by mattrat

 

Umm, this is directed to the boy who is 16 and the one who is 20. They are too young to be thinking about girls right now.

Props too you if you own your own home, but I wasn't talking to you. Was I?

edit on 14-10-2011 by Manhater because: (no reason given)

I am the one who is 20, so yes it was directed at me.

Hey Dude,

Flirting isnt belittling to anyone, being sleazy and derogatory is but there is a massive difference.

Flirting isnt so much what you say as how you say it, you can talk about philosophy, politics even conspiracies and still flirt.
When talking to a young lady you fancy make sure you make eyecontact and a slight cheeky smile this will convey confidence which the ladys love.

Girls will deny this but 99% of the time once a girl sees you as a friend its pretty much over, they will normally always see you that way. I reckon you have maybe a 3-4 meeting window to make an impression as a potential BF before your relegated to friendship zone forever.

Act confident and like your enjoying yourself and all will be good, as you pointed out your a decent looking bloke with a good brain and bod so just gotta work on your game and all will be fine.

Good luck Bro

P.s we expect regular status updates

Work on your sense of humor, I love nothing more than a man who can make me laugh until I cry. Find a girl you have something in common with, that should make it easier to talk to her.

Don't be oblivious! I am sure there are girls with INSANE crushes on you, and you have been absolutely clueless. I always say, if a girl is playing with her hair when you are talking to her, chances are she likes you. This is an uncontrollable give-away of mine that my husband picked on me about endlessly.

Don't think about it too hard. Don't be afraid to talk to girls. You will never learn how if you don't try and fail a few times!

Just a word of warning, be careful what you wish for, your first love will truly hurt worse than you ever thought possible.

reply to post by ValentineWiggin

Just a word of warning, be careful what you wish for, your first love will truly hurt worse than you ever thought possible.

Unless you hurt her first MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Originally posted by MegasAlexandros
reply to post by mattrat

 

Yeah, I feel like this site is filled with people like us. We're the lost children of promise, we grew up so beautiful, so intelligent, so... full of promise, but we thought too much and rebelled. This our punishment for our intelligence, a life doomed in a world where questioning the status quo and unlocking intelligence is looked down upon. In this world, it doesn't matter how nice and smart you are, just how mean you're willing to be to get what you want.

Ok, first of all this is a lie perpertrated by the Media, quit watching so much TV... trust me there are grown men that should have done that a long long time ago. That is why there are older women like me that cannot find a boyfriend, see... same problem you are having. TV is the last place to find an accurate portrayal of what young people are really like, or how relationships really work. If you do know some kids that are extremely similar to those characters you see on the boob tube, well that's because they are just "playing a part" so in other words they are probably fake... you are not seeing the "real" person. Since I am way past your age and have some experience in this, plus I have two teenage sons who have NO problem whatsoever finding girlfriends I'd have to atleast attempt to help. I raised my sons not to worry about girls or dating until they were out of highschool, too much for you to learn and accomplish right now. However only one listened... he has a beautiful perfect young lady who adores him now (going on 2 years). My younger son got started at your age.. he has had a couple girlfriends and due to the fact he's not quite ready for a relationship and because he is very focused on school and sports, he ended up breaking up with both of them which caused them a little heartbreak and him a little ding to his reputation with ALL the other girls.. live and learn I guess. I also drilled in their heads to have great respect for the opposite sex, and that females can do anything they can do and are wonderful beautiful creatures... but are extremely different than them.
From my experience with boys at your age, I'd have to say the best relationships I had and the ones you will come away with the most fulfilled will be the ones where you guys are great friends. When I say friends, I truly mean be a friend to her and let her be a friend to you, it's so much easier. That way all the stress and pretense can be put aside, you can really get to know one another and always have someone your age that understands fully what you are experiencing. The best part about this is that you can tell each other EVERYTHING.. not something that's so easy to do with parents.
I wish you the best of luck on your quest, and I guess the only other advice I could give you is BE YOURSELF... and don't let anything or anyone make you feel bad for WHO you are.The world you are growing up in is kinda cruel, I'm amazed at the things my kids say sometimes.. and they are really great kids, with good hearts. I can only imagine how rough some of your peers can be. OH, and I'm really glad to hear that the eye patch was only temporary... that could of really thrown a wrench in your teenage years

reply to post by snowspirit

You are sooo right! My oldest son took my words of advice on NO Girlfriends til College straight to his heart. The entire time he was in highschool he was so focused and made great grades. It drove the girls crazy though!!! Especially the ones that were used to getting ALL the attention. Nevertheless he was extremely respectful of the ladies and had a couple of really great girl "friends", and was able to get to know how different girls are and figured the type of girl he was really attracted to. He met a wonderful girl a couple years ago and they have a great relationship and she's like him no previous serious relationships, very focused, sticks to her plan and NO BAGGAGE for either! I am amazed at the kids in high school that have an entire Soap Opera going on in their lives while they are trying to finish school and figure out the other thousand confusing things going on in their lives!

Originally posted by Manhater
Make sure you are stable, secure and success before jumping into something. Do it now, and you might go a down a path you'll regret later.

Yes, you must have money, security and success before a lot of females would be interested. They aren't very good at working to make things good, they want the readymade package that is an easy life.

Or you could just say "screw that", have fun and be a happy person.

A girlfriend who cannot accept a boyfriend for who they are doesn't deserve them.

Have fun, let them come to you, don't try too hard and be yourself.