Living In The Age Of Negativity

(I wasn't sure which forum would be best for this topic, if it needs to be moved so be it)

Okay, here we go. I am a very thoughtful person, not in the sense of being kind or considerate, but in the sense that I am full of thoughts, but I suppose the former too. I love to people-watch and to mediate, I love to help people and take notice on the stresses in their lives and how to absolve that negativity. I watch what people do, what they say, how they say it. It's interesting to me how negative people generally are. That isn't to say ALL people are, but the vast majority of people I see everyday tend to respond to a sudden situation (whether it is positive or negative) with hostility, caution, distrust, fear, etc. When someone forgets to bring home a certain dish from the grocery store it's, "How could you forget this ONE little thing that means the whole WORLD to me?! Why don't you love me?!" ( Okay, maybe not /that/ extreme, but you get the idea ) But what if that one dish had secretly expired, or was poisoned? What if it would have made you sick to eat it? Do people no longer believe in destiny? I myself believe that everything happens for a reason, divine or not, and that anything negative can be turned around into a positive.

Everyday when my mother comes home from work she'll sit down, grab a beer, and complain complain complain about her day until she is literally out of breath. Then, she will log onto facebook, an abscess of negativity, and start yelling and complaining about the things people post. Why is it that so many people seem to be addicted to anger and hurt? Is it in how you were raised? It just seems so easy to me to gravitate instantly towards happiness and peace, and seems so alien for everyone around me to seemingly wish for more anger, more negativity, like they are purposefully self-destructing.

Is this the fault of our government? Our work-to-live lifestyle? Perhaps it is our own fault, perhaps the change comes from within ourselves and when we change for the better we influence those around us to change too. Is this time of protests and rebellion necessary? Can you put out fire with more fire? What if, for one day, no one on Earth did one thing mean or hostile and was nice and gave help to everyone who needed it. What would that Earth look like? I really do wish to see that day. When everyone transcends revenge, depression, anger, and fear. Would people still die? Would there be a day when no one went hungry?

Sometimes I think about this so much that I give myself anxiety, anxiety that I'm not doing as much as I can. That I'm not helping enough people, that I'm not setting the best example for my age mates. That I'm not giving my heart and soul to the world. Screw religion, screw politics, screw work. Life is the most important thing on this planet. Not money, not possession, not time, not house size, not social status, not intelligence, not a single thing is more important than life itself. I wonder what if everything on this planet was free? Just, make everything free. No work, just free. It won't cost money for a company to make a product, they make it because they enjoy the joy they give to people who receive it. Get rid of money. Get rid of anger. Ugh, I'm dizzy from all this typing.

There was no specific purpose behind this post, just to throw my feelings out there and get them off my chest and out of my head. To everyone who reads this, have a great day filled with happiness and relaxation and thank you for reading.

I think perhaps John Lennon had a lot of the same thoughts you're having before he wrote "Imagine"...

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

And no... you're not the only one who wonders about such things. I don't care to find who is at fault, but rather, I try to be the change I want to see. We can't control what the people of the country or the world feel, think and do, but we can control what WE do.

Helping other people helps me.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


I'll have to go listen to that song now, those lyrics were really nice to read. No wonder he was so famous.

What you have discribed is exactally as i would act and think myself.

People worry to much about simple things in live and upset themselfs because of it.

I think tho its down to your personalitly everyone is different you know, I honestly think people stress about little things because they have alot of bigger problems on there mind that they dont like to think or talk about, there for end up stressing over silly stuff.

I am sorry my ex wife was that way everyday come home and start bitching about her boss the people she worked with and when I wouldn't listen she would call some body and start all over bitch-en. Drove me craze. craze gets craze. Never ends

reply to post by Celestica


It's kind of like how parents want their kids to act like dogs. Come here, no come here; instead of fidning a way to communicate to the child. It's all about up bringing and consideration and a level of awareness. Lets get real for all the people "awake" there a lot more dead asleep and they aint getting up either type S***. To a degreee instead of educating themselves on how to maintain a level of positivity around them; they just project is outwards toward the world, because they're ignorant of how to deal with what's inside. And also society dictates we're animals with no soul or anything, so death I think is a big stress aswell. Not knowing how to live life I think is people's biggest problem...

reply to post by agentofchaos


Instead of teaching Gen Ed. at High School it should just be an open, free to leave, life lessons school. The world would probably be much better off if we were actually taught ethics, manners, kindness, and problem solving in school. Rather than strictly "logic based" classes. It's a real male way to grow up, when it would be beneficial to have a decent balance between both male and female ways of thinking.

Nobody can answer that. Apparently not even herself. She lists hundreds, if not thousands of reasons for it. It could really be as complex as that, but she's looking in all the wrong places.

Genetics likely plays a role.

Perhaps some sort of (undiagnosed?) physical ailments do as well.

Chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and the like are projected to increase through the years and decades ahead.

I think these people should decide to help their selves, or seek treatment as they choose, else we should shun them.

Could it be she wants some sort of recognition for what she does all day. Appreciation. Everything is so vain.

reply to post by etherical waterwave


That could be. The post wasn't just about my mother though, I just used her as an example.

One thing people don't get is that "thinking positive" does not mean sticking your head up your butt and saying, "Don't worry, be happy."

Being positive means thinking openly and clearly, and acting on what you know. ....So many people focus on the negative, saying, "Oh, no, it's all wrong, wrong, wrong," because they're disempowered. I think the lies and contradictions and hypocrisies in our society disempower people - that and the fact that most people just don't have the time to think.

reply to post by soficrow


Well yes, you don't find to throw caution to the wind and become naive to be happy. But at the same time, I don't believe you have to set aside a specific time to think. Sometimes thinking happens without you doing anything. It's just that you become unaware of your thoughts, at-least thats what I think. To think aloud in your head takes time and concentration, yes, but to idly think happens all the time. Right now as I'm typing this I'm thinking, but not on purpose, just involuntarily. And to add to that I'm thinking about more than one thing at once, I'm thinking about the placement of my fingers on the keys. What to say, how to word it. And it all comes naturally. As I said, I think people just forget this. Also, that become a much longer reply than I had meant it to be.

I know exactly how you feel, and I'm glad you brought it up, because it's something I was just thinking about. My sister is exactly the same way. If something comes out of her mouth it's going to be negative and laced with enough swearing to make a sailor blush! I can understand this type of behavior if someone has had an especially bad day, but I can't understand anyone making this their normal method of communication.

I also hear a lot of people say really awful things about their "friends" behind their backs. This makes absolutely no sense to me. If you don't like this friend, why do you associate with them. If you do like them, why are you being so hateful?
Whenever someone speaks ill of others, it makes me wonder what they say about me behind my back, and really decreases my respect for them.

As for why do people act this way? There are probably thousands of reasons. Human behavior is incredibly, mind-numbingly complex. I think narcissism or low self esteem may be the cause in many cases though.
If they complain about how awful their day was, they may expect attention and sympathy for it.
If they make fun of other people, they may think they will look better in comparison.
How a person is raised is probably also a very likely cause, though obviously not the case with my sister and me.

One thing I would like to know is, how do you deal with this? I'm always at a loss of how to respond. I don't want to alienate people like this, because I know there's some good in them, but I also don't want to give them the impression that I agree with them, which may encourage them to continue the destructive behavior.

By the way, you sound like an awesome person, I wish there were more people like you in the world.
You need to learn how to relax though! If you truly believe in destiny, then there's nothing to worry about. (unless you're destined to be anxious..? hmm..)

reply to post by Astrithr


Destined to be anxious? perhaps the cosmos would like me to learn a lesson here

Well I deal with this in a few ways, depending on the situation and how I'm feeling.

1. I tell them to calm down, think positively. "Hey, at least such and such didn't happen too!"
2. I try to reason with them. "Well if they said this, why don't you look at yourself from their point of view to try and understand it better?"
3. If all else fails, I ignore it. While that may seem to be not very helpful, and kinda mean, my hope is that if a person sees they will not get recognition through force they will realize a more peaceful method to communicate.

I wouldn't be nearly as negative if life didn't suck so much. As it is, we're kind of stupid animals, trapped in weak bodies, responding to one pain after another. And if we manage to pull together enough resources to insulate ourselves a little bit from the misery, it doesn't last. Love just sets us up for agony. It's all pointless in the end.

I'm sorry, what was the question again?

reply to post by Celestica


There's something very 'seductive' about being a victim and complaining about everything and blaming everybody and everything external to ourselves for our unhappiness. When I'm a victim of life, I get a lot of rewards:

1) I'm right about everything (because everyone else is an idiot)
2) It allows me to sit on my ass and complain instead of taking responsibility and DOING something about my own life.
3) It allows me to give up responsibility for how I feel (because other people cause my feelings)
4) I can claim that I have no power to change anything, so I might as well not even try.

The truth is, my life is MINE and I DO have the power to change it. I am accountable for all that I attract to me! Whatever I attract, there's something in it for me to learn. My life is NOT the result of other people's actions. I take responsibility for it completely. There's a great deal of power in that.

It's much harder, though, to take responsibility (100% accountability) for one's life. But it's the only way I know to be. Many people do choose the more seductive position of 'victim of life'. That doesn't mean they're bad people, but it would be nice if they knew there's another way to live and think about life.

Originally posted by Celestica
Why is it that so many people seem to be addicted to anger and hurt?

I actually think it becomes a habit with some people. They get caught up in the drama (of Facebook or ATS, for example) and then start forming the habit of negativity and get deeper into it. It's seductive.

Perhaps it is our own fault, perhaps the change comes from within ourselves and when we change for the better we influence those around us to change too.

Exactly. I wouldn't say it's our 'fault', but I would definitely say it's our responsibility to change our existence to what we want it to be. And I don't mean moving or getting a new car or changing ANYTHING physical. It's about changing my mind about how I perceive the world around me.

reply to post by Celestica


How long has it been since you were in school? I work in a school district and the only "logic based" classes that are still stressed are math and reading. Everything else is secondary. BTW the type of education you describe already exists. It's called "Montessori". And there's a reason it's a fringe method and not in the mainstream yet. Because education, just like everything else in life, is a discipline. There is nothing "male" about learning self discipline. With that comes things like morals and ethics as we are better equipped to critically analyze the problems life constantly throws at us and discern right from wrong.

Not to mention, schools are inundated with anti-bullying and harassment policies to the point where students and even staff are afraid to socialize for fear of repercussions. Programs like Positive Behavior Support and Character Counts are implemented at every school from elementary to high school. So really, if you look at it, it's the free-wheeling view of education that has driven it down the current path to destruction. Maybe if we quit focusing so much on letting people "do what feels good" and got back to some fundamental issues, these problems would fix themselves.

People have always been pissed off, felt not part of the crowd, whatever that means, and generally had gripes, moans and a general tendency to "just not be to considerate of, or think twice about others". This is not a new phenomena, it's as old as, perhaps the first of us, before we fell out of the trees. But with the net and other forms of social-mind "peek-a-boo", we are all much more aware of what others are thinking, feeling, and that gives us vast opportunities, or you can think were going to hell faster then ever before. Frankly, I think just the opposite. Our ability to interact using social media has helped accelerate an exponential evolution of us as a species. Thats pretty neat. Yeah it can be scary, but so are a lot of things. Insight should never freak one out (OK, not to much). Just learn and adapt, as best as possible. Or we can hide under our beds. That would smell real bad in a short time...

reply to post by LeftySinister


I am still in school, I'm only 17. "Male" as in left, analytical brain. And no, at school I hear students talk about sex, drugs, doing weed, beating people up, the teachers themselves make comments to their fellow teachers that they believe most students will not catch, but they do make some sexual innuendos. My old teacher would actually talk about biking and breaking his arm and whatnot and some of my male classmates would also talk about being in the hospital and broken bones and such. To me, socializing is important, but to openly talk about bones jutting out of your flesh is very unprofessional. Ethics and morals do not stem from todays classes. People I know show up to school in pajamas, shirts with drugs on them, they openly cuss at school and to their teachers. Like I said, not ALL people are negative. And this is coming from a charter school, I've gone to public, private, and charter. Public was by far the worst. People have been caught having sex and doing drugs in the bathroom there, and in some cases actually outside on the school grounds. My generation is very negative and ill-mannered.

I find myself thinking about this a lot these days... you see it everywhere. I delivered pizza for many years in a fairly busy suburban area.... and i remember as a kid the traffic wasn't so bad but by say... 2004 people were beginning to get much more agitated on the road and aggressive. Now, it's even much worse. Everyone is in a hurry to go nowhere, quick to flip you off or beep at you if you don't GAS it right off the giddy up... I even fall prey to negativity myself, and some of my early posts from months back reflect that but i'm not usually like that. I have a drinking problem, I do think i get so sick of dealing with so many no minds and just plain jerks all the time that It literally drives me to drink. I'm doing what I can to get out of it and a sub par life i've been living... anyways it's not about me!

I honestly think it's the music that gets rammed down peoples throats all the time that has a lot to do with it. I mean, you ever listen to mainstream modern rock nowadays you'll know what i'm talking about. It's just all negative filth, music quality is horrible, lyrics are for simpletons. Usually involving something negative... "you're crazy b****" or something equally trashy. I mean, i'm no angel, I love rap groups like Wu Tang and the like, who sometimes use dirty lyrics but they do it cleverly and with such good flow that makes you go wow. Rap now is a joke and it's all about promoting some "Gangster" image but lacks lyrical depth and flow. Pop music... don't get me started. I truly believe that there is someone/something behind the vast majority of mainstream music, whether it's rock, rap, pop, country.... it's to keep people trapped into lower emotional states, so people don't reach higher states of consciousness. I truly get annoyed when i get subjected to this garbage, and a lot of times I don't have a choice... say i'm at work or something.

Anytime I play anything I'm into I usually get this "WTF" look or people don't wanna hear it... most things i like don't have lyrics and it's just up to the listener to interpret themselves... but i guess that's too much for most people. Stuff That does have lyrics i like to have either interesting harmonies and complex lyrical rhythms and word usage. You can tell a lot about a person by what they listen to. I think some pop from the 80's was good, like Prince, Eurhythmics, etc... but nowadays it just seems like all manufactured, vapid garbage... mcdonalds of music.

Also, Television has a big part in it as well. Seems like most mainstream television PROGRAMMING has a certain formula. Everyone gives these cliche answers on these stupid shows like DWTS and American Idol, it's like they all give the same generic answers to everything, and say the same generic praises.... Reality TV is the same way.... and a lot of these reality shows rely on a lot of negative situations to keep people lured in, there is always drama. I never watch tv, but someone I live with watches a ton of it... anytime he watches that Orange county choppers show I can tell because all I can here is... beep this, beep that... seriously their must be about 200 beeped out swear words per episode... and people lap it up. I like stuff like History channel, some stuff with forensics and comedy but thats it.... and some sports but i don't live vicariously through others.

So yeah.. I agree, too much negativity in the world today. I think people need to slow down and realize whats important in live, but TPTB don't want that because they want you to be a good slave and go to work everyday and be productive... every year jacking up the rates and demands while raising pay a tad... i can understand why many are stressed and I do think we are reaching a boiling point sooner or later. It may or may not be ugly, i don't have the knowledge to really say but I do feel deep within that we are headed for a major disaster socially if we don't seriously wake up soon.