Defeating Negative Self Talk

reply to post by Awen24


I also get a little negative-nancy-ish sometimes , I've just learnt that I know I'll get through it.... we always do...

I think your daughter is attached to the feminine emotional side, and the aggresive male side won't let it go. I see this close to home too; friends and family... and myself. we're so wrapped in our emotions that we don't want the advice that sets us free... we're so dog-gone determined that we want to make the descision ourself, but somebody came up with it first, AND they told us what to do...' screw you buddy, I won't be made happy by you! I'LL make mySELF happy! AAAAH!" soz gotta run, maybe that helps something

bleh gotta get to work

It is only the mind that is negative, they say that 90% of thinking is repetitive and negative.
The problem with trying to be a positive thinker is that every time you catch yourself being negative you will give yourself grief for not succeeding in being positive. You will be beating yourself up for failing.
The mind is talking to itself and it thinks there are at least two in there (head). That's why it can fight and conflict. Really there is only one of you. When this is realized there can no longer be any conflict.

The mind is no more than one thought at a time. Each thought can be watched, seen. You are the one that is watching, that one is silent and peaceful.

Theres an excellent book I read on exactly this topic, cant remember what it is and since im at work il have to go home and check. Il put the name up later on!

I had a major epiphany about this in 2010. My life continues to improve because I will it to be so. Positive self talk, setting realistic goals, and love all work together to create self awareness. I have accomplished in a little over a year, things that I have desired to do for literally years. Awesome thread OP, I am living proof this is TRUTH!

Cast out fear. It does nothing for you but hold you back. Eat right, exercise, and visualize what you desire to become... If you can imagine it, you CAN achieve it!

I have had the same problem with negative thoughts but mine was towards the external and not selfhate in that nature. I was tired becuase i persived the world as really bad and no justice at all. I also use a form of brainwashing and choose what I want to think. If I don't want a thought pattern then I am able to with effort get rid of it. But first I analyse it to try to figure out the meaning why I think that way. Some things are just junk that need to be removed, but other thought patterns that where negative have (after I have analysed) teached me about how I function as a person at that specific time. Some have even told me core truths about myself that I needed to know. I sometimes takes 100% control of what I think by analysing what I think. Sometimes I am on autopilot and let everything just happen. Sometimes then negative thoughts arise and it's ok. Be kind to yourself If you don't succed directly. Let it take time to heal all the crap you might have learned thru a lifetime. Take one step at a time and don't give up. If you notice it keep track of your ego because it can be a measurement on how far you have come. If you start to feel lovingly without reason then you are really on track. Some days you take 2 steps back instead of one forward. But what is the hurry? It will have to take the time it takes to heal your mind. Keep up the good work and don't loose hope. Namaste

Originally posted by SmoKeyHaZe
reply to post by Shirak

 

It's not that I don't want to do something different, or don't want to embrace change...

It's just that, that situation I'm in at the moment is a pretty emotional one..Where every single day, of every minute I'm being reminded of my mistakes. For this reason, I feel like I'm stuck in a rut..& so I tend to lash out & act negatively.

But like I said, because of the situation I'm in, it has caused a very negative & bad atmosphere, which in turn, causes me to behave in a bitter & negative manner.

It can be that your like me that have to hit rock bottom before it gets better. I don't know if I should wish it for you becuse it was the turning point of my life. I never felt better that I do now in my life. I wish you will find the way that give you the fastest and best oucome so that you become 10 times as happy as I am. Because that would be wonderful to see or hear.

reply to post by User8911


It sounds to me like you have everything you need to succeed, excepting belief you can.
Like you, I am a writer, and for years I kept it hidden fearing that someone would say "its crap" and effectively shut down my work and my passion by way of negativity (mostly on my own part).
I found if I wanted like minded people to view and critique my works I simply looked, and believed I would find like minded people to share my work with. It came along at a very odd time, as I wasn't actually seeking at that point, but ran into someone who runs a small group for independent/unpublished writers, who introduced me to others just like me. Now I am still unpublished, but get my work out to people through this group.
Another facet is where we are right now. The internet is a great place to get your work out, and these days it's almost impossible not to find something or somewhere to get your ideas out to the world.
Remember there is nothing to fear but fear itself, and hey what's the worst that can happen? Someone says your work is no good? I came to look at that as either two things; make it better/modify it, or take the person for what they are, if they have nothing to offer you but criticism and negativity, move onto someone else.
I always say ask, you have a 50/50 chance either way, and thats half way to a yes

The brain/body operates much like a guided missile. The feedback loop is a self perpetuating mechanism which must be stopped and reguided, otherwise the results of 'negative' thinking become part of our experience...what you think, becomes true!...this mechanism operates in the negative direction, as effectively as it does in the 'positive' direction...it is an automatic device which does not discriminate...our thoughts, self talk etc are the discriminator.

Change the way you think, and a commensurate change will appear in your experiences...

But, when in doubt...
act...as if, something were true...

Your body cells are also beholden to instruction via the same mechanism...muscle memory etc...

One way of changing this consciously is to do things opposite to the way you would normally, habitually do them...like, tying your shoelaces a different way, starting with the other foot, changing routine...etc

Akushla

reply to post by apushforenlightment


Thanks for the positive words...It means a lot.

Hopefully I get to that point in my life, where I can actually enjoy life...Just feel very withdrawn at the moment.

Originally posted by User8911
For me, it's not a matter of "I can" or "I can't", it's always "I could".

There are many things I could do, I have unimaginable number of talents and high above normal intelligence and it's a total shame that I don't use it more then I do now. It's not that I don't want to or feel I can't, because I have everything inside me to succeed in almost anything I try.

Sadly, everything that I would like to aim for is blocked by the same thing constantly :
I don't have money and I don't have contacts.

And since I don't want anyone to care about what I write down, I will say that I make good music...there, I just put my post in a coffin. Whenever I talk about my music, people magically don't read. It's like I am cursed lol

It sucks because I know I can, I just need a little helping hand.

See right there you have defined the problem yourself. You are focusing on the reasons you can't do what you want instead of intuiting in this moment positive ways that you can smalls steps towards a larger goal. When you allow reasons from past conditioning and remembered failures to dictate what you can do in this moment you are a prisoner to the very events which give you insight and wisdom to do better this time.

I had always wanted to write a book I didn't have a publisher and the money to publish and so for years I let that actually be my reason for not putting pen to paper. Waiting for the stars to align I missed many opportunities to record.
One day I just started writing as the book evolved the opportunities and ways to succeed fell into place because I was open for the success. In the end my book was published and I had achieved a goal which for years was restrained by imagined blockers. I had let the what I did not have. Dictate what I had to offer and what I could do in this moment. Dare to believe you can succeed it is those who have had this who have changed the world.

Thinking negatively made me lose out on a whole lot of possibilities in my life. I am still trying to get away from self doubt.

Originally posted by SmoKeyHaZe
reply to post by apushforenlightment

 

Thanks for the positive words...It means a lot.

Hopefully I get to that point in my life, where I can actually enjoy life...Just feel very withdrawn at the moment.

Vibrationally, (and this will sound like mumbo jumbo to sceptics), 'withdrawal', is contraction. Contraction tends to solidity...solidity will make you feel like you are hitting other soild objects.

Expansion, vibrationally speaking, tends to un-solidify. Solid objects, outside of your 'consciousness' (for want of a better word), will not 'hit' you (because you are not contracted in thought).

Self talk is key in this. It establishes the parameters for the expansion or contraction...or the fast vibration and slow vibration.

The 'flow' is an experience of non-solidity...where nothing bothers you, the universe is going 'your way', or the other way around. Resistance to a 'flow' brings about a state of contraction where the result is obvious.

In all this there is effort. Not a lot, but a recognition and an impetus just the same. It may not happen overnight, but 21 days of commitment will show results...then, they must be recognised as results, not failure!...otherwise, the feedback loop is re-fed.

Akushla

Originally posted by ItsEvolutionBaby
Have you ever heard of EFT tapping?
David Childerly has a range of videos, this one is cool, we think, anyway

WOW what a great thread!

Every day i get NOTHING accomplished because of negative thinking,and its having a serious impact on my health. im aware of all my thoughts and what has caused them and what has to be done to "fix" them but nothing seems to ever get done,

Im seriously going to try this here video every morning, i can see how it may work.

Thank you!

you will all probably think I am crazy but thank you for this thread and all the responses. first off I don't believe in coincidences and this thread is actually what I needed after the negative day I just had. so thank you all. your responses actually lifted my spirits star and flag for a thread and responses I needed to see..............................

I saw the title and thought " i for sure need to read this"

Sort of a coincidence with the things i was thinking about just before i visited ATS today.
Obviously i was meant to see this.

So...i will read!

expect more later :]

I love myself, others, and have an ultimately optimistic point of view about humanity, its potential, and everyone's individual potential including myself.

But all of that having been said, sometimes there are realities and scenarios that cannot be denied or controlled. Things happen that cannot necessarily be "defeated," and accepting the reality of those things is not "negative."

I love humor and believe there is a lot of wisdom to be found in our jesters (comedians.) This issue always makes me think of Dave Chappelle. He was given a book called The Secret once, and during a standup act spoke about it. He spoke about how it spoke of positive visualization, and imagined going to Africa and seeing starving children and saying, "Oh, your problem is you need to visualize some corned beef and mashed potatoes. You just have a bad attitude about starving to death!"

Now, don't get me wrong. Believing in yourself and cultivating your strengths and potential are integral to succeeding at anything. You can never achieve as much as you could if you don't do those things. But the ultimate point is that we can't all achieve everything. We all have different potentials, situations, challenges, and sometimes those things conspire to limit what we can and can't do no matter how positive we are or how hard we try. Some people don't like to acknowledge this because it's more comforting to simply believe, "Anyone can do anything." Well, in principle, that's true. But in practice, not everyone can and will.

For every story of positive thinking and self-motivation that allowed someone to overcome disease and poverty, there are thousands of stories we never hear about of people who tried just as hard, had just as good an attitude, never gave up, and refrained from using their circumstances as an excuse, but still never got anywhere. Why? Because of luck. Because of the hand they were dealt. That isn't “negative.” That's just an unfortunate reality of life. Things don't always pass or get better. Things don't always improve. Sometimes things get worse. Sometimes people die. Sometimes people get sick and don't recover. Etc.

What a positive attitude can do for everyone though is help you to face those challenges, and hopefully make them less painful. (But even here, everyone is ultimately different and it would be uncompassionate to not acknowledge that in my opinion.)

Just my two cents. Peace.

I'm feeling this thread, and I don't say that very often. I have a very self-defeating mind set sometimes, most of the time actually. It's feels odd when I try to boost my confidence or feel good about things. I have lazy aspects about myself and have been working on it, yet still I have things go wrong. My classes are uninteresting and my grades are hurting because I'm uninspired to do the work. Just now, when I was reading some threads on here I tried to close my eyes and picture myself somewhere else. Then I got the quickening. Does anyone know what I mean by the quickening??

The time for all of us is changing. We are waking up to the truth. I am so surprised to find this post tonight and one last night about the Ninth Wave of Consciousness. Everyone on this thread is very positive and that is such a change for forums with so many different thought patterns.

I woke up after hitting rock bottom about one year ago. I was a puppet much like my profile avatar. Everyone is a puppet until we wake up and it looks like we are all doing it together. We are one if you believe we are nothing but vibrating energy. Our power follows where our mind goes. We are about to be free. I just hope more people outside this forum figure out that the negative thoughts and lifestyle choices are causing all the problems in their lives. When I started meditating I saw a new side of life. This was after I came off all the prescription poison the drug dealers in white coats were telling me I must take in order to live a good life. My life was hell for ten years until I started using natural herbs and dropping all the fast food poisons we are served daily. Life is so interesting now that I have begun mediating, using positive thinking, Crystals healing, and Reiki energy healing. Once you feel Chi coming out of your hands it will open your eyes to an entire new world. We are creators and the Elite know this. They also realize when enough wake to this they will be finished. No one will be a slave anymore.

Namaste.

Originally posted by Buford2
The time for all of us is changing. We are waking up to the truth. I am so surprised to find this post tonight and one last night about the Ninth Wave of Consciousness. Everyone on this thread is very positive and that is such a change for forums with so many different thought patterns.

I woke up after hitting rock bottom about one year ago. I was a puppet much like my profile avatar. Everyone is a puppet until we wake up and it looks like we are all doing it together. We are one if you believe we are nothing but vibrating energy. Our power follows where our mind goes. We are about to be free. I just hope more people outside this forum figure out that the negative thoughts and lifestyle choices are causing all the problems in their lives. When I started meditating I saw a new side of life. This was after I came off all the prescription poison the drug dealers in white coats were telling me I must take in order to live a good life. My life was hell for ten years until I started using natural herbs and dropping all the fast food poisons we are served daily. Life is so interesting now that I have begun mediating, using positive thinking, Crystals healing, and Reiki energy healing. Once you feel Chi coming out of your hands it will open your eyes to an entire new world. We are creators and the Elite know this. They also realize when enough wake to this they will be finished. No one will be a slave anymore.

Namaste.

I know what you are talking about with the hand feeling. I found that by cutting out certain preservatives and sugar free softdrinks yeast (alergy) it affected my body reference to a positive. Finding the food which is right for you and being honest with the self about what is harming the self and letting it go is a great step for anyone. I also found as my thoughts became directed towards focusing on positive ways forward. I started walking more and being in the sun feeling better there is definitely a ripple effect here.

Negative is the polarity of positive, therefore if we wish to give up negative emotions we must also understand we have to give up the high positives and take what is called The Middle Path between these polarities. It is the straight path between all worldly emotions. The middle path is awarness which is neither negative nor positive it 'just is', it is being the awareness behind emotions.