I want to tell you about something that happened to me in January of 2009. I still don't really understand it and I don't necessarily feel that I
have an explanation. I haven't been an ATS member for very long but I've been quite pleased by the intellect and quality of discussion
I've come across in odd places on the forum and I'm interested to see what kind of a response I might get. Some of you are so knowledgeable.
This is the part where I cringe a little because, for most people, this next bit is where my credibility goes out the window. If I was sitting where
you are, this is probably when I'd be clicking the 'back' button. Before this happened to me, I was spiritual person. It's who I am. But, before
this happened to me, if you had started talking to me about angels, I may have smiled and nodded in the right places but, inside, I would have been
rolling my eyes and I'd be excusing myself from the conversation first chance I got. I want you to know that it isn't easy posting this for that
Late on a Monday night/Tuesday morning, I shut off the light and lay down to sleep. My head barely touched the pillow and - BANG! Transported. I
was there so fast, it almost knocked the breath out of me. Like whiplash.
I was somewhere red.
Something vast was holding me in an embrace. That something was an angel made of the brightest, most powerful white I have ever seen or felt. It
was holding me to itself and, at the same time, working on me... Fixing me. I'm not sure how.
Imagine a child's rudimentary drawing. A wing made of feathers, a man-face, somehow lionish at the same time. And, like the portions of a stained
glass window, each portion (feather, eye, curl of hair) had a thick, black outline.
Nothing about it was sexual but, while I was there, in it, it was gratifying in an acutely sexual way. I felt I couldn't speak yet I heard myself
saying, "Thank you so much for coming to see me, again". I also recall seeing a pile of something that seemed to be feces. (I was going to leave that
part out but...I haven't.)
And as suddenly as I had found myself there, I came back. I recall opening my eyes in the dark and then closing them again to go to sleep.
The scary part, for me, is what happened later. For the next two weeks or so, all I wanted to do was sit and recall what happened that night. Over
and over again. But, whenever I thought about it, I would go to pieces. Overcome by weeping. Not just tears - I mean literally sobbing like a baby.
Unable, at times, to even stand up under it. Then I would get this expanding feeling in my stomach. The best way I can describe it is like a rising
that would expand too fast for me to handle. In my head I'd be thinking, "How can a person have room inside for so much joy
drive me insane!" As weeks passed, it began to subside but I was too scared to tell anyone about it for months afterward because a) I didn't want
anyone to see me weeping that way and b) I was worried someone would try and have me committed.
Like I said earlier, I still might not believe a story like this if I read one so, if you don't either, I get that. "Just a vivid dream" is what many
of you will probably conclude and I get that, too - although I don't agree.
edit on 1/10/11 by sirenofthedead because: (no reason given)
edit on 1/10/11 by sirenofthedead because: (no reason