It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

What was Jesus? (joke)

page: 1
5

log in

join
share:

posted on Sep, 30 2011 @ 08:44 AM
link   
My black friend had 3 arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone "brother."
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

My Jewish friend had 3 arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 30.
3. He was sure His Mother was a virgin and His mother was sure He was God.

My Italian friend gave his 3 arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.

My California friends had 3 arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

My Irish friend then gave his 3 arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But my lady friend had most compelling evidence that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was more work to do.




posted on Sep, 30 2011 @ 08:59 AM
link   
reply to post by ronishia
 


haha funny
personally i think hes an echidna named joe



posted on Sep, 30 2011 @ 09:25 AM
link   
reply to post by ronishia
 


I am curious....why did you create a thread with several jokes about Jesus? What is your spiritual belief system?



posted on Sep, 30 2011 @ 09:35 AM
link   
reply to post by caladonea
 


i thought it was just the one joke


Its funny because jesus may have been all or none of the above

edit on 30-9-2011 by Biigs because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 30 2011 @ 02:49 PM
link   


Just because it's funny



posted on Sep, 30 2011 @ 03:05 PM
link   
maybe this will help



posted on Sep, 30 2011 @ 03:08 PM
link   
Oh Jesus jokes my favorite!!!

Roman Soldier: Would you mind crossing your feet? We only have three nails left.

and

Roman Soldier: I don't care who you are if you drop that cross one more time you are out of the parade.



posted on Sep, 30 2011 @ 08:20 PM
link   

Originally posted by caladonea
reply to post by ronishia
 


I am curious....why did you create a thread with several jokes about Jesus? What is your spiritual belief system?



Ut oh, the Jesus joke police are patroling......



It's during the time of Christ and some Hebrews are bored one day. "Let's go and find a whore and stone her!" one says.
They all go to a brothel and find a ragged old whore. They drag her out and are getting ready to stone her, when Jesus suddenly comes out of his carpenter's tent and says, "He who is without sin cast the first stone!"
All the Hebrews get discouraged and go home. As they are leaving, an old woman picks up a huge rock, and throwing it with all her might, hits the whore on the nose.
Jesus turns, looks at the old woman and says with shock and dismay, "MUM!"




Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus:-
a) No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
b) Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
c) They don't force beer on minors who cannot think for themselves.
d) Beer has never caused a major war.
e) When you have a beer you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
f) Nobody has ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over a beer.
g) You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.
h) There are laws saying beer labels cannot lie to you.
I) You can prove you have a beer.
j) If you are devoted to beer then there are groups who can help you stop.




new topics

top topics



 
5

log in

join