Great Thread OP ... S&F
I agree with everything you said. This is a real shame. Our country is going to Hell. I know when I was growing up (times were sure better in the
1960's --1970's) families lived together if need be, or if worse came to worse. It wasn't frowned upon and people weren't harshly judged.
Sometimes, it just happened, and it seemed to be a common sense solution. It was common, acceptable and every day normal for extended family members
to live together in a variety of workable arrangements, including co-ownership of a multi-family home.
I think a good share of families with adult children, along with a grandparent or two, or kids waiting longer to leave home, do still live together in
times of financial need, but I think that over the decades this tradition is disappearing.
I've noticed over the past few decades that 'homes for sale' with a 'mother-daughter suite' or an 'in-law suite' in a typical one-family home was a
great selling feature, and it was more common in homes built before the 1970's, but, with each decade became less and less common. There was a win-win
if there was more than one household income if the grandparent contributed money from their SS check or retirement funds, etc,. to help with food
costs and so on and then helped care for the children.
Over the past two decades a live-in nanny or au-pair have replaced grandparents, in terms of daily child-care. Who better to care for the children
while both parents work outside of the home but the grandparent(s)? (Plus it's FREE). One of my grandparents helped raise me and my siblings for a few
years when times were tough and my mom took a part-time job.
No questions asked -- my grandmother came to live with us temporarily until someone else in the extended family member requested she stay with them
and help them with child-care in exchange for free rent. This was common in the areas where I grew up. Families were more likely to help each other
and to work out a fair plan that was mutually beneficial than to compete with each other. The grandparents that could help out did help out because
everyone pitched in and helped however they could as they lived nearer to each other, as this was necessary for survival. For a variety of reasons,
especially job relocation, many families today aren't as close.
Children are often traumatized, and like the parents, suffer miserably though homelessness and poverty. Sometimes families are split apart and this is
especially sad, as they are in a difficult time and place in their lives where they really need each other the most. Children also need grandparents,
especially when the parents are working or are away. The homeless situation has displaced so many families that it has also left children without
family members (both immediate family and extended family as well) that could be supportive and uplifting -- something they really need in their life.
The problems are so widespread and far-reaching.
So many of today's children do not have the structure or stability of a home where at least one parent/mature adult is in the home at all times --
parent or grandparent or elderly aunt, and so on, and where moms could stay home to raise their children instead of having to worry about an extra
paycheck to make ends meet. There is no excuse for this. Just considering the money that the government wastes could help so many people -- just the
waste and the wasted money alone, not even counting the greed.
I don't have all the answers but I do think that relocating from one place to another might not always be worth the stress or the risk. I can imagine
this situation might make one want to run or to feel that they are moving forward instead of remaining stagnant or doing nothing. But, I think
relocation isn't always the solution. Sometimes it is best, but sometimes it can be a costly mistake.
If I could talk to these people I'd suggest that they never make major decisions when in a place of fear, panic, anger, confusion or exhaustion. Also,
we need to be mindful that we do take our problems, issues, attitudes and habits right along with us (wherever we go, our head follows) When money is
already tight we need to be extra careful how it's spent. Moving costs are high, and unexpected costs that pop-up out of nowhere, are a reality.
As an FYI for anyone who may be considering relocating to the East or NYC Metro are ...since I live outside of NYC, I can say this -- it's probably
one of the worst places to be homeless. Shelters are already overcrowded with long waiting lists. At least in California, depending where, it may
occassionally get chilly at night, but late Fall and especially Wintertime here is beyond chilly -- its freezing --- windy, snowstorms on and off and
temps are 5 to 35 degrees throughout most of the winter. Many families who have homes cannot afford the exorbitant utilities and are living in a home
with no heat or electricity. Unbelievable! Many homeless people down on their luck are treated like criminals and Tent Cities don't last very long
here ... just a heads-up about the reality of the NYC Metro areas.
This is all so tragic and sad. My prayers go out to all those who are scared, hungry and tired and in need.
edit on 30-9-2011 by Jana12 because: Ass On
edit on 30-9-2011 by Jana12 because: EDIT for EDIT typo - should say 'Add On' NOT