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The OP was finished over 4 hours ago...why are
people still harping and "calling him out"?
Originally posted by rhazer
nothing creepy about it, he already has the password, and who wouldnt if they suspected infidelity?
preservation of ones self and sanity is a number one priority, thats why we do the things we do, to assure ourselves that we will not get in trouble, or hurt, or be in pain, nothing harder than reality hitting us smack on and what we are all after, all the time, is seeking the truth in everything.
Hence this forum.
Originally posted by sinfall
I'm posting this here because this is the only place in the interwebs that my wife and I don't both post....
I'm 30, she's 27, we've been together 12 years and married almost 9 years. We have a 2yr old son. That sums up the backlog of details....
I recently noticed and she also mentioned that an ex-bf of hers added her on facebook. An ex-bf as in, from when she was like 14 years old. I didn't think much of it, I knew of him by name. Never met him or anything. Well, apparently they met at this roller-skate ring back in the day and from there they started "dating". Well, it's been about two weeks or so since she mentioned him and today she sends me a txt asking if it was okay if she went with her cousin tomorrow night to that particular skate ring to go roller skating. Well, I told her that was fine, but it immediately set off the sirens in my head. My wife and I have been together for 12yrs and not ONCE has she showed any interest in roller skating, much less driving an hour out to this particular skate ring. So, being the computer nerd I am, I RDPed into her laptop and accessed her facebook account and sure enough, they had a chat going and guess who she is meeting up with at the skating ring. I figured at this point why not check the emails to her cousin and it is true they (wife and her cousin) are going, but my wife hasn't mentioned that she is meeting her Ex there.
At this point I checked out his facebook profile and found that he is not much to worry about as far as "stealing' my wife away or anything, given his lack of employment, drug habits, baby momma drama, rotten teeth, etc., but the fact that she is hiding this from me is what bothers me. In the chat he is already proposing to cap off the night at the local bar and that he could give her a ride home.
At this point I'm not sure if I should call her out before or after or wait until the followings days when I can confirm the met up. I figure if I drop the bomb that I know before, it will piss her off and drive her to do something stupid to piss me off, but I want her to unconsciously get the feeling that i know what's up and on to her.
Beens tewing on this at work most of the day and just needed to get it out....
Originally posted by Hitsuzen
I don't understand the people on here giving more blame to OP for invading his wife's facebook privacy. Give me a break! It's the wife who SECRETLY agreed to meet with an ex boyfriend. The fact that she later cancelled is irrelevant. Hopefully she came to her senses. It's also possible she plans to meet ole toothless one in a more private setting without her cousin around. Giving a spouse complete privacy is a roadmap to disaster in my opinion. Especially when it comes to facebook where everyone knows ex flames will contact you. The last thing any marriage needs is some ex telling you all the right things when you are mad at or bored with your spouse. If a spouse doesn't have anything to hide then they have no reason to be so secretive.
I agree with another poster you should definitely spice up your relationship to make sure your marriage doesn't get boring.
Next, go see whichever lawyer she would turn to, who would be the best. Like one of her relatives, or a friend of her dad or whomever. Have lunch with that lawyer and pay the consult. Tell them your fears, and ask what you'd get in a divorce.
That way, she CANNOT use that lawyer, since he's already been paid to offer advice to you on that subject, and he's forbidden to represent to clients against each other.