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Parents of ATS, I really need your opinions! Was innocence taken away by choice of book from teacher

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posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 04:41 PM
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reply to post by WeBrooklyn
 


I would suggest a safe room to keep your daughter in. Oh and no T.V. and no newspapers or films either. Raise her in a vacuum and then when she finally enters into the rough and wild world she will be totally unprepared. In fact the first decision she makes will be disastrously wrong and will likely ruin her life. Does that sound like a viable answer?

Of course not... Why would you want her totally unprepared. My parents sent me to Catholic school all my life. Got my first girlfriend pregnant, her step mom lied to me about what a great cook and house cleaner she was, just to get rid of her, and since I wanted to get out of my overbearing fathers influence I did the right thing according to my education and married her. The Marriage only lasted a little over a year.

I skipped College to do the "right thing" except it was the wrong thing. Sounds like you need to take a little time in the education of your daughter instead of trusting the teachers at a private institution. Teachers who you have not investigated at all.

Let me ask you this; If the Government told you that you had to lend your car to a total stranger, would you do it willingly? And yet you give your daughter to a total stranger for her education and moral guidance? Are you in the market for some swampland? It has a real nice view and the gators and skeeters aren't too bad. Interested?

I do not think this is something you can pass the guilt off on someone else for, it belongs firmly with you. Sorry to be so harsh, but it sounds like there is already enough white washing going on around your house. Do your job, be a parent, not a morality gatekeeper.

BTW my daughter is 29 (public school) and not a parent yet. I on the other hand was 17 (private school) when I had my first child. The difference did not come from the schools, it came from the parents.




posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 04:50 PM
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reply to post by HideNASecret
 




if a book like that would be brought in my house it would be promtly burn regaurdless if it was a school assignment.



"Where they have burned books, they will end in burning human beings.” ~ Heinrich Heine


His book was burned by the NAZIs before WWII

Something to consider...



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 05:42 PM
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reply to post by Doodle19815
 


Sex is good and natural.

You daughter's body will conspire against you very soon and will flood with hormones that will activate parts of her brain pre-configured for sex as part of procreation.

Sex can be debased and abused too.

You task as a parent is to guide her progress to a balanced and happy adulthood.

Along with the sex drive is the drive to find romantic love and lifelong commitment. They are, and should be, inextricable.

If your daughter understands that sex can lead to having to care for a baby (too hard for a child themselves), is a part of romantic love and commitment and that sex without romantic love can be hurtful and dangerous, then she will have a balanced, reasonable and healthy outlook.

Innocence does not have to mean ignorance. Follow up with the teacher and explain the approach to sex education that you wish your daughter to have.



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 05:45 PM
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I don't understand why some people have giveing you a hard time here. All you are doing is being a good parent to your child. There's nothing wrong with that. That teacher is a poor teacher if they have used a book that she used in an eighth grade class for fifth graders. Personally I think the school system should dicipline the teacher for what she did.

These days every where I go I see children who misbehave and don't listen to their parents.Mostly ,I believe because their parents want to be their friend and not their parent. You are right to go to the school and ask for an expaination. That's just good parenting. Thanks for being a good parent,these days they are so rare.



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 05:51 PM
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See, this is why society is turning to camel crap because 10 years ago this stuff would have only been taught to no one less than 13 years old but society is making kids grow up too fast and all the ''I'm with the times'' crew who thinks it's fine to teach young kids about the seedy world of porn are helping nicely with the desensitisation of our populations.

Let's draw a line somewhere ffs.



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 06:31 PM
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I am usually one of those people who say we are becoming a nanny-state, and that people who are constantly looking for something to complain about, like prayer in schools, is an idiot. However, I actually agree with you on this issue.

What you have described, what your daughter has been reading, is absolutely not appropriate for someone of that age. I remember there being a thread the other day where someone mentioned that the government(EDIT: the corporations) wants people to grow up and mature faster, because "sex sells."

Whether or not this has anything to do with your particular case is beside the point. This is clearly wrong, and even though children are often exposed to dialogue and words like this at an early age, 10 is still rather early in my opinion. I don't have children and this still pisses me off. I am sorry for what this school is doing, and I hope something can be done to make them see the error of their ways. Good luck, and I understand your frustration.
edit on 9/28/11 by JiggyPotamus because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 06:37 PM
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I am not a parent, BUT I have spent a great deal of my life babysitting, nannying and working with children. So here is my 2 cents:

Your reaction, I would imagine, is an understandable reaction for a loving mother of a 10 year old girl. Every parent gets concerned over unsettling curriculum or teaching styles at some point or another during their children's schooling. I had a band teacher in 5th grade who would constantly make inappropriate sexual entendres: "TromBONER" or his need to explain "duets" as "When two people 'Do it'". Chills ran up my spine when he made a pedo joke about using his keys to the boys restroom not only for our tornado drills, but for other reasons. Note: I went to a "Blue Ribbon" elementary school in a wealthy midwestern suburb.

I felt very uncomfortable, but unlike your daughter, I was not strong enough to convey my discomfort to my parents. How wonderful that you and your daughter have open communication! Encourage it by asking her how she felt about hearing these terms and words, because it is not your feelings about hearing this information, but rather her feelings that that would best be focused on.

After your initial emotions of anger/frustration/loss of innocence subside, why not get involved? Schedule a meeting with the teacher. Maybe your daughter's version of the story isn't quite as salacious as what was being taught. Maybe it was even more so than what she reported back to you. But every story has two sides, so initiating, creating and nurturing an open dialogue between you and your daughter's teacher is the only way to go



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 07:28 PM
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Its just school teaching your child that she is an animal.
I have four daughters and they are all clever generous caring and loving, well behaved and grounded.
None of them, the oldest being 15 have bee introduced to sex drugs or pornography. Home schooled makes a difference.
I am sure many people will say terrible things about the naivety they have, but in truth they behave and act in society extremely well and have a genuine self respect I dont see in many other children.
Yes we are Christians so self respect is very important, you cant respect others if you cant respect yourself.
I suggest working hard on teaching your daughter self respect.
I also suggest a church that focuses on Jesus and nothing else. Encouraging her in relationships with other girls who have Christian moral standard.



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 08:01 PM
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reply to post by WeBrooklyn
 


Just like neighborhoods influencing how children act, schools have their own "neighborhood atmosphere" which influence how children act. There's a big difference between inner city and suburban public schools. Kids who attend school in the city grow up much faster, "see more" things and are under more peer pressure.

I was a city boy and my wife was a country girl. When we were dating, I used to joke with her and tell her she grew up in a cave!
She wasn't exposed to as many things as I was growing up in the city. City kids had more parties, more race diversity, more hang out spots, more stone heads, less rich kids, etc...

After getting married, we had a girl and a boy. We lived in the city and sent our eldest daughter to a highly successful inner city collegiate high school. Students had to apply and achieve a 3.2 average during the school year or they had to attend a regular public school. Although her education was great, (what can you expect when all the kids are motivated to learn) she grew up much quickly and was exposed to more "temptations" than my son who we ended up sending to a suburban school.

My daughter's peers were more "street smart" than my son's peers. Lets put it this way, I lost more hair on my head during my daughter's high school years, than my son's.
I really believe the school environment plays a big roll in children's attitudes and how they act.



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 08:12 PM
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reply to post by WeBrooklyn
 


I am a teacher. Go to the Superintendent of school and tell him personally what you told us. The teacher needs to be fired. If the Superintendent covers for the teacher in this, then ask for an explanation as to why he does not have a better understanding of the curriculum. Ask for a copy of the state (GLEs) Grade Level Expectations and a copy of the classes curriculum. They will be expected to provide it for you. Read through it. If the content of what your daughter is being taught is not found in the documents, then go back and ask why it is being taught. Then, ask to get on the docket for a school board meeting and make your concerns public. No 10 year old should be indoctrinated into a sexual understanding that you do not promote. Reading should be about visual field articulation and rapid auditory processing, not sex ed. The parent should be the one to do this according to family morals. When she is 18, she can make her own mind up. Also, go to the other reading teachers with this concern and ask about the curriculum.

Be careful to keep a level head when talking with the Admin. Bias is a killer. Stick to facts and what you expect.


edit on 28-9-2011 by SuperiorEd because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 08:16 PM
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@ WeBrooklyn

I can understand what you are saying about "City kids vs Country kids" but not for nothing...IMO that isn't always the case. Lest we forget that drugs, and some drugs in particular, are just as if not more prominent outside the city vs. in the city. On a similar note, Utah is #1 for most pornography consumption per capita than any other state. ?

It is a matter of the "magnifying glass" as I like to say: A particular matter is not in your face simply because you do not have the magnifier of the "big city scene". Still an issue none the less...



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 09:13 PM
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I am surprised that they haven't started to teach these kids all about homosexuality yet? Just wait until your daughter comes home with questions about that.



posted on Sep, 29 2011 @ 12:04 AM
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reply to post by WeBrooklyn
 


You need to make an appt with the school principal and your daughter's teacher....pronto!



posted on Sep, 29 2011 @ 12:38 AM
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Oh honey!

Girl, if we were friends I would have driven you to the school and raised hell with you! I have a wee one, a boy, not school aged yet...but I could only imagine my reaction to hearing this from him. I am sorry, I am of the opinion here that it should be FIRST the parent that covers sexual or taboo topics with the child. Different families have different situations (Split families, Non Traditional Families, History of sexual abuse...on and on) and values, not to mention religions. I would certainly want to provide my boy with a safe environment (at home!) to discuss anything this intimate. I would NOT want him reading it from any book put out by the school.

When I was in school we were not assigned anything with sexual or drug related subject matter aside from one Sex Ed video which there was a note sent home for (I was thirteen) and the D.A.R.E. program.

Now, it seems like there should be some kind of letter sent home to inform the parent that this type of subject matter is about to be covered, even if it's just so the parent can be prepared for questions or go ahead and talk birds and bee's. Especially because of her age. I still can't help but be totally disturbed this happened at all. Yes, your daughter will find out one way or another, but it should happen naturally between the two of you according to her curiosity as it blossoms, and not shoved down her throat by a teacher.

Ahhh but like I said, we are not school aged yet. I know I have much to learn!



posted on Sep, 29 2011 @ 01:17 AM
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I have to say I am not a parent...I am in my early 20s...I have 1 sister whom is a year younger than me and a second sister that's still in the single digits age. I might also mention my hubby and I relate so well because he's the oldest of four siblings. Its though my experience That "live and learn on a tight leash" is the best approach. People whether adolescent or elderly have curiosity, along with judgement and learning (memory) at varying levels. Let her learn if she ask then obviously she wants to know and its better she learns from you than anyone else. Being a care giver is to be a guide in life.



posted on Sep, 29 2011 @ 06:31 AM
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I've read this thread with interest, noting the arguments for and against giving a child this sort of reading material or explaining / sheltering them from some of the 'facts of life'. Both sides make some good points.

Before I decide on an issue like this, I ask one question: Was it necessary? In this case, I think it was not. This was a reading programme, for 10 year olds. I'd guess that there is a wealth of other books to choose from that were more age appropriate.

The teacher made a mistake and has admitted as much. I'm not surprised that she was apologetic, she probably understands that her job could be on the line if you make a formal complaint.

Saying that she is generally responsible for teaching older pupils is no excuse. She's been careless and thoughtless.

It's too late now to lock the stable door. The horse has well and truly bolted BUT, you still have the chance to make something good from all this.

Now would be the time to explain to your daughter that adults aren't always infallible, that they do make mistakes and it's not always a good idea to follow their example. Use the teacher and the characters in the book to illustrate the point.

You can explain that she has read something that is unsuitable for her and that you are going to ask her to be very grown up about it. I think kids like responsibility ( responsibility, not burdens
) and that she will respond well. Here is her chance to make you proud of her as she handles some knowledge about the less savoury aspects of life.

From what you've said about the goings on in your neighbourhood, you might find that your child reading this book has been a blessing in disguise as it gives you an opening to discuss some things that she might have noticed more than you realised.



posted on Sep, 29 2011 @ 09:38 AM
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reply to post by Hawkwind.
 


As someone who was a child more then 13 years ago, you are deluding yourself if you think kids didn't know what is going on.



posted on Sep, 29 2011 @ 10:58 AM
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Originally posted by nixie_nox
reply to post by Hawkwind.
 


As someone who was a child more then 13 years ago, you are deluding yourself if you think kids didn't know what is going on.



At ten years old you were learning about porn were you? Not gonna happen in my house. Just because you knew about it it doesn't mean all ten year olds are exposed to it. Deluded my arse.



posted on Sep, 29 2011 @ 11:37 AM
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Originally posted by discharged77
I am surprised that they haven't started to teach these kids all about homosexuality yet? Just wait until your daughter comes home with questions about that.


You are surprised? Where did you go to school? What do you mean "teach these kids all about homosexuality"? Please cite what you are tallking about. Your post is simply made up stuff.

CJ



posted on Sep, 29 2011 @ 11:37 AM
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dbl pst
edit on 29-9-2011 by ColoradoJens because: (no reason given)



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