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A Testimony and Confession

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posted on Sep, 27 2011 @ 06:32 PM
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"I love those who love me, and those who seek me, find me." Proverbs 8:17

Recently, I have come to the realization that this precious world that we inhabit, isn't what I originally perceived. There was an elusive truth, and behind that truth was a frightening reality of biblical proportions. When met with this realization, I felt betrayed, befuddled, lost, cheated, deceived, and foolish. It felt as though the ground had evaporated beneath me; up was down and down was up. My world was rocked and my beliefs were shaken to their core. What I was feeling was premature enlightenment. It felt as though God grabbed me by the collar and shook me out of my sleep. Talk about a 'rude awakening.' My life was forever altered and I knew there was a long, darkened path ahead of me. When I discovered this shaded actuality, I was hungry for more. I devoted the last 9 months to researching political facts, religious ideologies, biblical truths, and monolithic conspiracies. I had officially heard wisdom's call, and perused her diligently.

"I have taught you the way of wisdom; I have led you in the paths of uprightness." Proverbs 4:11

"She has sent out her maids, and she calls from the highest point of the city. “Let all who are simple come in here!” she says to those who lack judgment. 'Come, eat my food and drink the wine I have mixed. Leave your simple ways and you will live; walk in the way of understanding.'" Proverbs 9:3-6

"For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her." Proverbs 8:11

"I saw that wisdom is better than folly, just as light is better than darkness." Ecclesiastes 2:13

The sovereign Lord had opened my eyes and I felt so blessed! My mistake in light of this revelation, was seeking a way to intervene. I sought to enlighten my friends and neighbors and somehow prevent the catastrophes that I felt were soon about to unfold. I desired to change the world and save it from being plunged into chaos as I foresaw. Unfortunately, I was misguided in this venture. The Lord wanted me to be aware and remain vigilant, but he never meant for me to prevent anything from happening. I couldn't! It was all part of His great divine plan. These matters were in His hands, and I just had to sit back and preserve my faith in Jesus. Despite this notion, it didn't stop me from researching further. I became obsessed with furthering my knowledge and discovering adumbration. This ended up being my decadence, as I lost sight with reality and fell into a secluded state of despondency. I isolated myself from my friends and the rest of society. Suddenly, my view on my peers revolved into coldness; my heart turned from them. I began doing the opposite of what God expected of me!

"You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come." Matthew 24:6

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

"In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" Psalm 56:4

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes?" Matthew 6:25

I became so engulfed in fear that it dictated how I lived my life! Satan was leading me down a path of self destruction. He knew my soul was saved by the grace of God, but he sought to make my existence on this Earth a living Hell! I became concerned about where I would go, how I would eat, who I could help, how I could survive, and if I had a chance at glory in this tribulation. My thoughts became clouded with self doubt and uncertainty. I wasn't fulfilling the vows I made to God by seeking to preserve my own life. What I failed to realize was I should have been seeking to preserve the lives of those without the Holy Spirit.The knowledge and enlightenment I received from the Lord was my own because He had answered my prayers when I asked for discernment! I was attempting to share the wrong wisdom with my companions. The news I plastered over the internet or discussed in person were not accounts of joy or good news. They were tragedies; dark realizations and mind blowing anomalies. Naturally I would be met with hostile opposition or remarks of disdain and disbelief. People weren't prepared to accept that kind of insight. Then it hit me like a punch from Mike Tyson; I couldn't save these people, but I knew someone who could.

"But God has protected me right up to this present time so I can testify to everyone, from the least to the greatest. I teach nothing except what the prophets and Moses said would happen-" Acts 26:22

"The Savior--yes, the Messiah, the Lord--has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David!" Luke 2:11

"She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." Matthew 1:21

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6

Indeed, I needed to spread the good news about Jesus Christ! The only one who can save these people from their lost, empty lives. Foolishly, I was preaching politics and philosophy when I should've been teaching biblical ideology. However, I wasn't nearly as educated on the bible as I needed to be to defend my faith; much less pass the Word onto others. I studied the books of the Bible and referenced several novels authored by biblical historians. I better equipped myself to break demonic strongholds, answer skeptics, understand the mysteries of the bible, and break the apocalypse code. I educated myself to better serve my brothers in Christ and guide the lost souls seeking direction.

"He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God." Revelation 2:7

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." John 1:14

"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes through the Father except through me." John 14:6

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

"I will also appoint him my firstborn, the most exalted of the kings of the earth." Psalm 89:27

"And on His robe and on His thigh He has a name written, "KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS." Revelation 19:16

Jesus Christ did humanity the greatest favor: He died on the cross for the salvation of all mankind throughout the ages. All we need to do is surrender the throne of our hearts to Him and repent of all our transgressions. Let us rejoice in His grace, praise His name, and proclaim that Jesus is the sovereign Lord!!! Amen




posted on Sep, 27 2011 @ 06:37 PM
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reply to post by DanteMustDie
 

That's wierd - I just posted this below in another thread at precisely the same time you posted the above with your opening quote from Proverbs. That's freaky!


Originally posted by NewAgeMan
God is love. Those who seek can find him, and his will was personified in Jesus.

The eidence, in case anyone was wondering

posted on 27-9-2011 @ 04:32 PM
post by NewAgeMan
 


edit on 27-9-2011 by NewAgeMan because: edit



posted on Sep, 27 2011 @ 06:52 PM
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reply to post by NewAgeMan
 

We must be on the same wavelength.



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 05:03 PM
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Deep existential uncertainty coupled with a mindset overbrimming with guru-aspirations can never lead to anything constructive.



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 05:16 PM
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reply to post by bogomil
 

You sould save your judgements of others.

That's said, uncertainty, in the face of mystery, is a hallmark of a very high degree of awareness, and the Christmind is like an empty Buddha bowl first filled with Hermes.

The desire to share these realizations with others cannot be construed as guru-aspirations, just being helpful to others in a spirit of love and mutuality.

Your hard heartedness is showing again bogomil.



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 06:20 PM
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Originally posted by bogomil
Deep existential uncertainty coupled with a mindset overbrimming with guru-aspirations can never lead to anything constructive.
I think to fit the definition of a guru, you would have to exhibit qualities of things like an outlook that you are at peace with your own existence. Not sure how to put that, but I do know someone who was like that, where he never seemed to feel worried about anything. He had a family who came to him and said their son had gone to Columbia or somewhere and they thought he might have gone there to get some coc aine to bring back and sell. He flew down there and just disappeared. So my friend says yes, you pay my expenses and fee and I will see if I can find him. He came back with photos of the spot he thought he got buried. You have to let that sink in, you are in the jungle, right where the people are who killed the kid and you are taking photos and asking questions. Who would do that? Only someone who has a supreme confidence in what he believed in, someone at total peace with the world. That is the guy who people loved to hang out with and hug and kiss.

edit on 28-9-2011 by jmdewey60 because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 06:41 PM
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reply to post by NewAgeMan
 


You wrote:

["You sould save your judgements of others."]

Why?

Quote: ["That's said, uncertainty, in the face of mystery, is a hallmark of a very high degree of awareness, and the Christmind is like an empty Buddha bowl first filled with Hermes."]

At least that's said after having passed the new-age word-mashing process. I can't see this actually MEANS anything.

Quote: ["The desire to share these realizations with others cannot be construed as guru-aspirations, just being helpful to others in a spirit of love and mutuality."]

Sure, sure. Get semantic and call it 'sharing' instead of preaching, and everything has become so honky-dory, that it's like kicking a child to oppose it.

Quote: ["Your hard heartedness is showing again bogomil."]

In certain contexts; and anyway I'm neither prone to getting all soggy from ideological enthusiasm nor group-huggings and politically correct smiling to demonstrate my everlovingness. I detest role-playing.



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 06:46 PM
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reply to post by bogomil
 

True. If you can't be authentically loving and kind, then don't bother, hey we agree on something! You either have it, or not. "Be therefore either hot or cold, never lukewarm, and say yes, when you mean yes, and no when you mean no."

My only question is - how could someone be authentically hard hearted..?



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 06:56 PM
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Originally posted by jmdewey60

Originally posted by bogomil
Deep existential uncertainty coupled with a mindset overbrimming with guru-aspirations can never lead to anything constructive.
I think to fit the definition of a guru, you would have to exhibit qualities of things like an outlook that you are at peace with your own existence. Not sure how to put that, but I do know someone who was like that, where he never seemed to feel worried about anything. He had a family who came to him and said their son had gone to Columbia or somewhere and they thought he might have gone there to get some coc aine to bring back and sell. He flew down there and just disappeared. So my friend says yes, you pay my expenses and fee and I will see if I can find him. He came back with photos of the spot he thought he got buried. You have to let that sink in, you are in the jungle, right where the people are who killed the kid and you are taking photos and asking questions. Who would do that? Only someone who has a supreme confidence in what he believed in, someone at total peace with the world. That is the guy who people loved to hang out with and hug and kiss.

edit on 28-9-2011 by jmdewey60 because: (no reason given)


That could be one good definition.

But I actually said guru-ASPIRATIONS, which is something different from guru-qualifications.



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 07:07 PM
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reply to post by NewAgeMan
 


You wrote:

["My only question is - how could someone be authentically hard hearted..?"]

I have no idea. This 'hard hearted' direction is your trip, which quite honestly isn't that interesting to join. Already in my youth such 'soft values' were used in mindgames as levers amongst guru-competitors.

"I'm meeker than you" or "I have found my inner child, woman" or whatever supposedly being emotionally warm and open. It was embarrasing then, and it's embarrasing now.



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 07:14 PM
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reply to post by bogomil
 

I'm sorry, let me clarify. This is how I experience you in almost any and every post you make, that's all. It doesn't neccessarily mean you are not compassionate or transparent or open-minded, because someone else can't truly know a person's heart. You just seem that way to me, that's all. It's really non of my business either!



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 08:01 PM
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reply to post by bogomil
 

That could be one good definition.

But I actually said guru-ASPIRATIONS, which is something different from guru-qualifications.
Right, I was defining a quality in someone that a person looking for a guru might want to look for. The point being, if you are not like this guy who risked his life to placate or diminish the human suffering of the lost kid's parents, then you really should not be in the guru business, as in trying to play the part of a guru because people seeking things are not too interested in trying to learn from someone who you can not perceive as being any better off than yourself.
I was reading the OP and it sounded more like someone who wanted to be led, more than actually being led, as in I saw mostly dead ends being described. What is the point of that, other than to find out it is a dead end? Maybe it is just a personal preference but I really do not think it helps matters to have an exuberance for reciting superlatives to a deity you don't know, as if this pretending is going to make Him feel sorry for you and make the the things you desire come about in order to not leave you feeling embarrassed about having such ambitious aspirations.
There are people who paint signs on their Jackets saying, "Jesus is Lord", and feel like that is their mission to mankind. Being a walking billboard is more than words, and you need to fill some sort of need. Years ago (a lot of years) I used to imagine myself being some sort of walking encyclopedia, where I was the only person I knew who read the dictionary for recreational reading. Now, all of a sudden, I am obsolete, where people can pick up their phone and get whatever they want from Wikipedia. So then what? You have to demonstrate that what you know somehow makes a difference in who you are.



posted on Sep, 28 2011 @ 08:24 PM
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reply to post by DanteMustDie
 


Read these words carefully from the Gospel of Thomas. You are not alone. I can relate. Thank you for sharing. Salvation and faith are the pillars of stability, peace and satisfaction. The quote is below. My commentary on the Gospel of Thomas is here. LINK

(2) Jesus said, "Let him who seeks continue seeking until he finds. When he finds, he will become troubled. When he becomes troubled, he will be astonished, and he will rule over the All."



posted on Sep, 29 2011 @ 11:31 AM
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The whole purpose of this thread was to give others insight on where I was mentally when I divulged into the realm of conspiracies. I think we can all agree, as there are too few of us, that it's a lonely road. The rabbit hole goes deep, and the more we learn, the less we really know. It's almost as if there's a conspiracy behind conspiracy itself; like meta-conspiracy. We are not given all the answers; we are not given all the evidence. All we are given, is the theory and our speculation. There is no solid, irrefutable evidence backing any of our claims, and I believe that is the most maddening concept of it all. There are only certain aspects that prove evidential, but not enough to make it circumstantial.They are mind boggling anomalies before they become factual. We feel left in the dark, and for intellectuals with integrity, this is the worst place to be. We pride ourselves in our intellect so much, yet we fail to see how consumed by it we've become; we are chasing our own tails, and free falling down the rabbit hole.

My personal account describes the dark place I was in, and the only light at the end of the tunnel was Jesus.

My greatest revelation: There will be no revolution, no retribution, no peace, no justice, nor prosperity. The future of the world has fallen into the hands of greedy, selfish, ambitious men. These same men have orchestrated and scripted a tribulation of epic proportions. I don't see anyone, no Supermen or women capable of challenging or dismantling this highly efficient machine. Every voice will be silenced; every movement will be halted. The men behind the curtain own the chess board, and they are 50 moves ahead of us all. I'm a realist with no delusions of self grandeur and I have no illusions of victory. I support all forms of resistance, but see it as futile. We may fight valiantly, die honorably, but fail epically.

That's a pretty dark sentiment, no? The only hope I have left, is in the one who manufactured the chess board; who created the game. The one who is infinitely more powerful than us and the machine we oppose. My hope is in Him. If I'm a fool for misplacing my faith, then I shall die a fool; a fool with hope in something greater than our own meager existence.

edit on 29-9-2011 by DanteMustDie because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 29 2011 @ 04:30 PM
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Originally posted by DanteMustDie
The whole purpose of this thread was to give others insight on where I was mentally when I divulged into the realm of conspiracies. I think we can all agree, as there are too few of us, that it's a lonely road. The rabbit hole goes deep, and the more we learn, the less we really know. It's almost as if there's a conspiracy behind conspiracy itself; like meta-conspiracy. We are not given all the answers; we are not given all the evidence. All we are given, is the theory and our speculation. There is no solid, irrefutable evidence backing any of our claims, and I believe that is the most maddening concept of it all. There are only certain aspects that prove evidential, but not enough to make it circumstantial.They are mind boggling anomalies before they become factual. We feel left in the dark, and for intellectuals with integrity, this is the worst place to be. We pride ourselves in our intellect so much, yet we fail to see how consumed by it we've become; we are chasing our own tails, and free falling down the rabbit hole.

My personal account describes the dark place I was in, and the only light at the end of the tunnel was Jesus.

My greatest revelation: There will be no revolution, no retribution, no peace, no justice, nor prosperity. The future of the world has fallen into the hands of greedy, selfish, ambitious men. These same men have orchestrated and scripted a tribulation of epic proportions. I don't see anyone, no Supermen or women capable of challenging or dismantling this highly efficient machine. Every voice will be silenced; every movement will be halted. The men behind the curtain own the chess board, and they are 50 moves ahead of us all. I'm a realist with no delusions of self grandeur and I have no illusions of victory. I support all forms of resistance, but see it as futile. We may fight valiantly, die honorably, but fail epically.

That's a pretty dark sentiment, no? The only hope I have left, is in the one who manufactured the chess board; who created the game. The one who is infinitely more powerful than us and the machine we oppose. My hope is in Him. If I'm a fool for misplacing my faith, then I shall die a fool; a fool with hope in something greater than our own meager existence.

edit on 29-9-2011 by DanteMustDie because: (no reason given)


Well said, we are long past the point of no return. Our only objective should be to become better people in Christ before it's too late.

Rev 22:10,11
"And he saith unto me, Seal not the sayings of the prophecy of this book: for the time is at hand.
He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy still."



posted on Sep, 29 2011 @ 04:50 PM
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reply to post by DanteMustDie
 


Ha, the grand conspiracy of life, that we are placed within a point, from which absolutely nothing whatsoever can be known with certainty - but isn't that a type of knowledge or awareness. Maybe there's a light at the end of the tunnel, an understanding, a "truth that sets us free"? This is after all, what we are REALLY seeking, and he who seeks WILL find, this is my belief, as a seeker of 20 years now (I'm 44). I don't know anything in particular, don't get me wrong! I think when you know that you don't and can't know anything at all, that there is an everything you can at least start to get to know, but it's not "learned education", no it's the qualia of felt experience.

It's hard though, to tunnel through it all, but when you do, it's certainly worth every amount of prior effort. I feel I've tunneled through on the 9/11 issue (i'm a "truther").

There a new world just waiting to be born, and it's crying out now, it's ass slapped!

We'll get there. We will and can't not in the final analysis. People are smart, and the spirit is truth and wisdom is coming and is already here, informing us.



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