Dear parents, why do you lie to your children ?

Greetings,

I was hoping my first topic would on a more .. interesting forum, but it seems that whatever it may be, is against me.

Anyway, I'm here with 1 simple question for all (pretty sure of it) parents across the globe.
Why do you lie to your children from the day they are born?
What I'm mostly talking about are things such as the Easter Bunny and Santa.
From as young as your child most likely can remember you tell them there's this strange old bearded man, or even a mutated rabbit that break into the house once a year, just to give the children free gifts.
And once they are older you go "Haha, it's all fake, we lie to you, no more free stuff for you".
So... why exactly do you lie to your child, while you and your partner are probably the only 2 people out of nearly 7 billion that they should be able to trust.
Of course, if you wouldn't lie to them you child would feel left out in school and such, but that's not your fault is it? At least you are trying to be honest to your child.
"But other kids whould get gifts and my child would get nothing!" Well tell me why on earth does your child only deserve that much love and gifts on those few days each year?
Aren't you suppost to be the loving and caring parents? Or is that really how much you actually wish to care ?

Every day I read or hear people say "Waah, the government/NASA/the news are lying to us, how dare they?! They should care about us!"
Well what's the difference between this higher power (government, ..) lying to the lower power (us people) and this other higher power (parent) lying to the lower power (child)?
Are you unwillingly making your child used to how terrible the world is or something ?

Please explain to me why you ruin the trust of those you (should) love the most, I honestly don't get it... and probably never will.

LanceDH

dont have an answer because im not a parent...but its a really good questions S&F for you

lol I've been thinking the same things for a while now. I'm not gonna tell my kids theres a santa or easter bunny. Whats the point? I want my kids to think I'm getting them presents, not a magical old strannger that watches them while they sleep.

reply to post by LanceDH


I think that the myths of Santa and The Easter Bunny are actually very positive. Bear with me for a second on this... Wouldn't it be a good thing for kids to believe a bunch of stupid crap that people they trust feed them, only to realize when they are older, that they should question everything they hear? Maybe then, when they get older, they might think back to ol' Santa, and realize the idiocy about Jesus or Allah or whatever, is just as ridiculous. Perhaps also, they might not believe everything that the government tells them as well, and truly think for themselves. That is the first step that the majority of the exceptional men and women in history have taken on the path to great social contributions.

Good read there, makes one really think of when the idea of protecting innocence should end or what that ideal of innocence consists of in the first place.

Reminds me allot of this story I read a long time ago Lies we tell kids

Feeding your children fantasy storys helps them to develop between peers and to understand society when they are older.

When children start to play using fantasy themes with other kids it helps them,

Resolve conflicts
Read other childrens moods
Improves cognative ability

Thats just 3 things off the top of my head.

You could delve deeper into the psychology of socio dramatic theme play but I dont want to bore you. Lets just say its extremlely important =)

For a few short years, the kids can have some magic in their lives.

They figure out that it's not true in their early years, most know that Santa isn't real by the time they're 4 or 5. If they ask if it's not true, then they should be told the truth. Most kids find it fun.

Once they're out of that stage of early childhood, they should not be lied to.

Also, by the time the tooth fairy comes around to give out money for teeth, they know it's not true, it's just fun for them to play along. That's why they make sure their parents KNOW that a tooth is gone, so that the tooth fairy doesn't miss them.

reply to post by LanceDH


When kids are born, they think very concretely. This is a function of the brain. As the start to move past 12 years old, the brain has started the process of moving to abstract. Ask a very young child to pick a dime or a nickle and they pick the nickle because it is larger. Ask them later and they take the dime because it is worth more.

Compare this to the abstract thought of Santa and the Easter bunny. We need these stories as symbols for what they represent in our lives. Why do we watch fiction at the movies? Because we have comparisons to know what is real and what is not. Can this be compared to religion and God?

Life is a process of comparing the things that have real value and those that do not. The lie told to man is a lie about God. Man has the ability to tell the difference. You may be thinking that I am gearing up to say that God is a lie. Not at all. The lie is saying he doesn't exist. We have evidence for God but not Santa. We have a relationship with God that we do not have with Santa. Eventually we can see the difference when we realize that we believe the material world to be real. The real truth is that the material world is the myth that we live as an education about the true Kingdom of God. The true reality awaits.

We are the children seeing the material world as concrete. As we grow, we begin to see that the dime has more value. We are a projection of light and energy from the duality of light, both particle and wave. It is a projection. When we gain the value of what nature reveals, we move our minds to a desire for the next realm above.

What must we find in this world to see the abstract as real and recognize the concrete as the illusion?

1 Corinthians 13

11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

How can I verify that we are made from what is unseen?

Hebrews 1:3

3 By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

As stated by Paul Dirac's relativistic quantum mechanical wave equation, our universe is parallel to another universe in opposite. Our matter is anti-matter to this mirrored universe. The event horizon between these two universes represents the projection point of both.

Originally posted by Q:1984A:1776
reply to post by LanceDH

 

I think that the myths of Santa and The Easter Bunny are actually very positive. Bear with me for a second on this... Wouldn't it be a good thing for kids to believe a bunch of stupid crap that people they trust feed them, only to realize when they are older, that they should question everything they hear? Maybe then, when they get older, they might think back to ol' Santa, and realize the idiocy about Jesus or Allah or whatever, is just as ridiculous. Perhaps also, they might not believe everything that the government tells them as well, and truly think for themselves. That is the first step that the majority of the exceptional men and women in history have taken on the path to great social contributions.

Well it clearly doesn't work does it ?
People across the world still blindly follow their government.
You still have christianity. (don't get offended by this people, really..)
Through my days of highschool it clearly shows that children just follow what the theacher says.
If said teacher makes a mistake on purpose hoping a student will point it out, it won't always happen because as a student, you get learned to believe what the teacher says. They should know what they are talking about, don't they ?
Which is another thing of teachers ruining a students trust by making mistakes on purpose. But that's different topic, nothing I want to go into here.
So if you ask me, this teaches nothing about children thinking for themselves.
If one thing, I'd say that it teaches them to go with lies, as they have been used to it for so long... maybe even hoping that there is at least 1 person out there they can trust.
Of course I can't prove that or anything, but the world does show that things don't go the way you say.

First, it seems pretty obvious you don't have kids, LOL!

Originally posted by LanceDH
Why do you lie to your children from the day they are born?
What I'm mostly talking about are things such as the Easter Bunny and Santa.

To allow them a chance, however brief, to live in a fantasy world where wishes and dreams come true and magical things happen. If you've ever experienced Christmas with a child, it's a fantastic and wondrous thing. Words really can't describe it, it's truly joyous though. And not just for the kids, but for the rest of the family as well.

Originally posted by LanceDH
And once they are older you go "Haha, it's all fake, we lie to you, no more free stuff for you".

No, don't be absurd. Slowly over the years the children realize the truth of the matter, that mom and dad are "santa" rather than someone living in the north pole.

Originally posted by LanceDH
So... why exactly do you lie to your child, while you and your partner are probably the only 2 people out of nearly 7 billion that they should be able to trust.

It's not a trust issue, our kids still remember Christmas with great fondness. And they trust us implicitly. They don't look back at that as a time when mommy and daddy "lied" to them, they see it for the wonderful fantasy that it was and they appreciate us that much more because of it.

Originally posted by SavedOne
First, it seems pretty obvious you don't have kids, LOL!

I indeed don't have children as I am only 20, in college, and simply am not interested in having children at this point.

To allow them a chance, however brief, to live in a fantasy world where wishes and dreams come true and magical things happen. If you've ever experienced Christmas with a child, it's a fantastic and wondrous thing. Words really can't describe it, it's truly joyous though. And not just for the kids, but for the rest of the family as well.

Don't get me wrong, I agree that spending time with the familly and such on a day like christmas can be fun.
But why does that have to happen on christmas? Why not just call your family, plan a day, let's say .. 4th of march? and have the same thing there. Why? because you love them? Do you really need to have a reason to have a day to love your familly or to give your child pressents?

No, don't be absurd. Slowly over the years the children realize the truth of the matter, that mom and dad are "santa" rather than someone living in the north pole.

As mentioned I am 20, nearly 21 so I've kind of only recently got out of my childhood.
I can safely say that I didn't just 'shrug it off' as you would say. Else I wouldn't be asking this question.
I look back at it, wondering why..
Of course, I don't blame my parents, or hate them for lying to me. It just seems to be something the world does, so it wouldn't be easy not to do.
But in the end, the only reason for days such as christmas and easter, to me, is just for stores to sell stuff.

It's not a trust issue, our kids still remember Christmas with great fondness. And they trust us implicitly. They don't look back at that as a time when mommy and daddy "lied" to them, they see it for the wonderful fantasy that it was and they appreciate us that much more because of it.

My last answer again, not every child grows up that way, are you planning on telling me that I'm not 'normal' now ?
Few people even think about the fact that, in reality, they have been lied to.
As said, I don't hate my parents for doing it.
It's like looking back at a dissaster you government caused and then go 'oh well, it happened'.


On an other note, I'm off to bed, I'll try to reply to any other answer I get tomorrow after college.

I never lied to mine. I caught all grades of hell for not doing so since I was told I was "robbing" them of their childhood.

Hell, my kids used to tell ME I was wrong about Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny......etc. LOL, gotta love having kids tell you how wrong you are about all of that BS everyone else they trust is feeding them.

Anyway, I just told them that some day, everyone ELSE who was lying to them would eventually admit it.

Well, that day happened a year ago.

Guess who they believe now? Go figure. Kids aren't stupid. Once they find out you've been lying to them, they don't really care about your rationale for doing so. All they know is that you've told them it's wrong to lie...but it was OK for you to do so.

They weren't robbed of anything by me. They bought into all of the Santa and other crap. They thought I was the liar.

I have no regrets for my decision.

It took about 4 years for them to realize that daddy never lied.