Are there any men out there who have never punched their house in the head?

Well, By reading this thread it has made me realise I am not the only woman who has thrown her phone !

Mind you in my younger years i was a fiesty one! Anything in my sight would get thrown in a heated argument, But my husband (then my boyfriend) laughing at me when I did it as it was usually something of mine and he knew I would regret it, Often lightened the mood

I am pleased to say that I have gone almost 3 years without throwing anything!

My husband has also thumped the car dash in temper, But It was not directed at me, And when I laughed (as I wasn't sure how to react) luckily it made him laugh also. He has never hit anything in the house though!

reply to post by FoxfilesMulder


I punched a wall once, and after dealing with the pain and patching it back up, I switched to keeping a large collection of old wood outside the house, and just practicing some martial arts kicks on them. Actually got pretty good at breaking real boards (not those specially grained pine ones they use in classes, etc.). I've still got a mean kick to this day.

Though I've been tempted, I try never to destroy anything of value, in a moment of anger. I don't want to be mad, AND out money...then I'm just MORE upset!

I've never punched a women in my life and i wouldnt even dream of it infact i dont care who you are if i see you do it 1 of 2 things will happen i will either knock you block off or walk away and never speak to that person again i dont care who they are.

My father was abusive to my mum, My father was in the forces and was heavily built and liked a drink. My mother was of slim build and not a violent type at all herself.

So my opinion on this is very strong, However anger is something of a natural feeling that can not be controlled in some circumstances (NO EXCUSE) But i suffer from frustration not anger problem, There is a diffrence between the two. If i've been repeating myself on stupid matters that effect my house hold and are being iggnored constantly or forgotten then forgive me if a choose to punch a wall or door when its in my home after another 2 hour debate/argument yet again, I can easily replace of fix a door, If somebody wishes to think of themsleves better for not well so be it...You to have issues you may wish to reread or think about before you punch your 1 sided views around and claim to be right and better in everyway (its exactly that kind of oppinion that does wind me up) .

puching a person is a way of trying to get your own way, punching a wall calms you down instantly and causes pain and reflects you emotions elsewhere.

As for punching a dashboard well ive never being in that situation i keep my personal problems at home but aslong as that lady knew she wasnt in danger im sure she may have understood. But i wouldnt get into a habbit of punching everything everytime you get stressed otherwise you will find your fuse short and anger problems will appear.

arrogance and blatent one mindedness is the key to a fiery relationship and i dont mean in the bedroom!

I slapped a gal once, right after she slapped me. It was an extremely gentle slap, meant more to embarrass, than anything else, but I still regretted it right after. It was entirely reflexive (at the time...I was much younger), but I've done that only once. After that, she tried to continue, and I did the more gentlemanly thing and just blocked her, etc. (which really frustrated her even more, hehe)

This woman really played me though, and the slap from her was payback for the revenge I did on her afterwards. (and I deserved it, but given the whole thing over again, I still would have done the same revenge). It was a little over the top, but then again, I'm a guy who likes my revenge to be at least twofold for the offense....

(She basically teased me, led me on, arranged a date, etc., and then copped to lying about her age (turns out she was only 17, almost 18, and I was 20), so then cancelled the date. That was pretty crappy, but ok...then a few days later though, I learned (through others) that she went on a date with some 30-something guy at the beach, so I got a bit ticked. So, I called her dad, pretending to be this guy's son, and said I didn't like the idea of my dad seeing a minor and if he could do anything about it. She got shipped off to her grandma's in another city, for like 6 months! Evil, I know, but I don't take being crossed well....especially in my younger days)....

reply to post by FoxfilesMulder


Yes, this is actually one of the reasons my ex and I broke up. He would go into fits of rage were he would violently start punching and throwing things.

He did once push me, but never hit me or anything.

I'd say yes, it is natural that a man unleashes this punch monster once in a while.

But this was too frequent, at least twice a day. And it was never really for a genuine reason. I know he would never hurt me, but it does leave us a bit dazed, confused, and frankly, frightened.

I'd seen him do it if some thing genuinely was wrong or irritating. And this I can understand from any person, not just males.

reply to post by justcurious31


Yes I have gone through a phone or two.

It's just that one item that's always within reach. The temptation is too hard to resist.

I remember, was actually a friend of mine. Who wanted a new phone, but her dad refused.

She got angry and slammed her phone onto the floor.

He thought she'd done it on purpose and insisted even more that she won't be getting a new one
I know it wasn't intentional, because she started sobbing, and picked up the phone like it was a baby.

I have done that many times! The repercussions of a female tantrum!

My hubby being the softy he is went out and got me new ornaments (usually my fairy one's that I collected) , Made me feel even worse because when I looked at them it reminded me of what an ass I was!

Now that I think about it, I've only ever punched anything in anger when I was drunk or high and that hasn't happened in many many years. I've been using my head a lot more, especially in the past 2 years, to help make sure that I don't put myself in situations, physically or mentally, where punching something is an option.

Have I ever HIT a female? No. Did I ever get in a physical fight with one? Yes. Again, this was a long time ago when the coke and booze had control over me and I had a habit of being around people who were a bit less than........ people. Lets just say that there are some women out there who take on characteristics of men when the substance abuse takes over and we'll leave it that. I'm not saying that either of those are excuses for what I did, because they're not. They're simply reasons as to why it happened. It was more of a pushing, shoving, taking down and banging each other around type incident than anything else. Rough sex without the sex. As it turns out her oldest brother was a cop in Cook County Il. at the time so the score was physically settled "out of court." ( Don't worry, the statute of limitations has LONG run out.) On an emotional level I finished up the job within the few weeks after all that. I really f**ked with that woman hard.

That was kind of the straw that broke the camels back so to speak because it became clear to me that my lack of empathy for other people, the fact that I just didn't care at all about other people, was beginning to get dangerous. It's one thing to hit someone, but to screw with their head the way I did was just plain wrong.

This is an interesting topic for me OP. Thank you. I'm still on my first cup of coffe for the night and this topic helped me see how far I've come in the past 25 years or so. I've gone from not caring at all about people to caring too much. I'll put the emotional needs of other people before my own to the point where it hurts me. I'd rather that happen than someone else get hurt. People say "He's such a nice guy" And I am. There's a reason for that.

I know what the other side of the coin looks like.

I guess I've gone to extremes. I took the long way home in figuring out that punching the dash in your car is a viable option. But at least I'm there now. That middle ground where you don't get overly emotional about things. ( Hell, I may even get financially ahead now) What happens happens and if someone has to get hurt, well........that's life. I'm in a position now where I have to take care of ceratin things and the person getting hurt is the one who, on one level, deserves it. Karma in action so to speak.
It's been a chapter that took 15 years to write, but it's time to turn the page.

( Yeah, I know.....I'm long winded )

When a man gets physical during an argument it makes me feel he's ready to take it to the next level. That's when the discussion would be over. Nowadays I will usually opt out as soon as the volume goes up. I present my case reasonably and expect him to do the same. But the only way I find to make this work is to be straightforward and respectful. Neither of us plays the "nothing" game. Works well with him, but outsiders often don't know how to proceed with the disagreement when I refuse to escalate. They misinterpret calm as indifference.

I also refuse to argue in public or in front of others, especially if I'm a guest. Nothing to see here! An audience an be a powerful accelerant. Can't let it get physical.

Haha yea I think it's just one of those primal things I do the same. But yeah would never hit a woman or anything. But yeah when I get angry because I hurt myself or made a stupid mistake I punch something but luckily for me I have pretty hard knuckles so I never hurt myself. A personal favourite is the beer fridge in the garage. I've put a few dents in that one

At the same time though i'm not a psycho i'm generally a pretty chilled easy going thing but some things can just trigger that feeling

To all those who punch walls etc:
It’s not normal. It’s immature. You need to grow up and learn to control yourself.
I would put money on the fact that you all have menial jobs. The real world doesn’t put up with that kind of behavior. Enjoy stocking the shelves at Quick Mart.

To those who throw their phones etc:
Stupid and childish. No one respects you for doing it. To add to your bad day you then have buy a new phone. The bathrooms also need cleaning at the Quick Mart.

Originally posted by Mentalistbee
reply to post by justcurious31

 

Yes I have gone through a phone or two.

It's just that one item that's always within reach. The temptation is too hard to resist.

I remember, was actually a friend of mine. Who wanted a new phone, but her dad refused.

She got angry and slammed her phone onto the floor.

He thought she'd done it on purpose and insisted even more that she won't be getting a new one

I know it wasn't intentional, because she started sobbing, and picked up the phone like it was a baby.

I've seen this alot ..both among males and females.

Your friend wanted a new phone...Entitlement. Did it ever occur to your friend that what they were doing was asking their father to take on more RISK in their fathers life to get the new phone for them without they...themselves taking on any new RISKS or doing any work??

I've seen this among women ...expecting their husbands to get them a new car to replace the olde one. What they are doing is responding to their emotions as an Entitlement ..but never thinking that they are asking their men to take on more RISKS for their instant gratification/status.

There are many people out here who think and believe that their emotions are the same thing as what is just and correct...provided someone else takes up the RISKS for them and flashdances them through lifes hurdles.

This is manipulation....also it is how some control freaks work. It is just not obvious to most people.

Not all control freaks are physical in what is being described in the OP's thread. Some control freaks are drama queens for their control technique.

One of the guys at work told me about what his wife wanted...him to get her a new car..and she worked too.

I educated him to how this manipulation works. That she wanted him to take on more RISKS for her "Entitlement" beliefs. That marriage was such an social "Entitlement" program. Why was she not buying him a new car?? Because she believed the RISKS were "Entitled " the other way around and only the other way.
This kind of manipulation and control freak technique works off social rolls...social beliefs and social expectations.

It is also an example of male ignorance being Preyed upon through not being aware of how some people think that their emotions are what is right and correct. PC is another word for this. It is a control mechanism.

Males fall for this kind of programming and manipulation because they cannot think past sports and performance programming...that their natural job is to perform and flashdance others without work and without RISK to them.
Sports conditioning teaches men to run touchdowns for others without thinking. The women/females just substitute their plays for their mans plays. He then runs their plays to the Entitled Conclusion/touchdown.

He is supposed to do the same thing for his children ...for cell phones...etc etc et al. Run touchdowns...score goals..and never ask about the RISKS to him.

My point here is to be careful what you think is abuse or a control freak. It is often not as clear or even known as many think. We often dont know or are not aware of the big picture.

This type of subtle control of others. ..is how politics works. It is also how many people are put in place of RISK for others ....taking First Place RISKS ..while themselves coming in second, third, or further down the line themselves.

I can see how some people get frustrated in their lives under operations like this going on.

Be careful what some of you think is abuse or a control freak. Much of it is not done as we think or take for granted. Some of being a control freak is very very subtle or feminine in it's nature.

Political Correctness....itself is often a type of control/manipulation over others...it is often control by censorship/guilt manipulation. It is very often phony/fake.

Thanks,
Orangetom

My boyfriend puches walls sometimes, and his own head, which is especially frustrating for both of us. >.<
He's totally not violent to me, or other people/animals at all. Like, never. Only violent toward objects and himself.
But guys aren't the only ones with destructive rage.
I prefer smashing, myself. Plates, glasses, the louder the sound, the better. I've smashed two televisions... And recently kicked this S**t out of the Xbox 360, which I regret.
I think it becomes kind of addictive. There's a certain release in smashing/punching/kicking. I've noticed I've been gradually smashing more and more, over less intense fights.
>.< Addictions of any sort are bad.