Today I get up, go to the 7 Eleven to get a cup of joe, go down to the river, sit on a park bench, get out my kindle and continue reading "Still Life
with Woodpecker" by Tom Robbins. It's a beautiful sunrise by the river and there's few mosquitoes.
Now, I wake up in a bad mood, there is no right side of the bed for me to get out of. (I can't get out at the head of the bed so, that might be
the right side, I dunno
) As a result, I'm pretty grumpy before I get enough caffeinated sunshine in me.
That's when two Florida city police officers approached me. They wanted to know about a boat that was tied up illegally along this wall by the river.
I've met the man that owns the little boat, and he uses it to come in from his slightly larger boat out in the bay. They specifically asked if it was
my boat. I said "no it is not".
Then the cop decided to ask me the two questions that really pissed me off.
"Do you have an ID?" and "Can I see it?"
Had I been doing anything at all illegal, I would have complied out of respect for the law. But last time I checked, sitting on a park bench reading a
book isn't against the law, so I replied with:
"Yes I do, and NO you may not!"
The cop asked: "Why not?"
Which I replied: "Because I am committing no crime, and therefore there is absolutely no reason you have to violate my constitutionally protected 4th
The cop came back with "I'm not violating your rights, were having a conversation, I can have a conversation with whomever I want to, I could talk
to those people over there if I wanted (he gestured to a couple walking down the sidewalk) and I can talk to you if I want to."
I said "Yes you can, as long as I want to talk to you, I no longer wish to talk to you, and so, you must leave me alone."
The cop said "Sir, you don't want to get on my bad side."
Which I came back with "Officer, you already have gotten on my bad side, and I guarantee that my bad side is far worse than your's is, and if you
don't leave me alone to my book immediately, I will have your partner place you in handcuffs and take you to the county jail under harassment
charges. Do I make myself absolutely crystal clear?."
At which point the cop and his partner walked quickly away.
Moral of the story, DON'T PISS ME OFF BEFORE I HAD MY COFFEE!