I lost my older brother in 1986, I was 9 years old. Adam was 3 years older than me and had taught me everything I knew up to that point. We were very
close brothers, he being the first born and I the second. Adam had a defective heart and spent the last 4 years of his life in and out of hospitals.
Up until then we were normal brothers, playing together and fighting with eachother over toys etc. I knew he was sick but I always believed he would
be healthy like me and would be around to help his little brother navigate life's difficult journeys and untold joys. He was my unequivocal leader and
I followed him with unquestioned loyalty. I needed my big brother.
I'll never forget the day he died. School had just started a few weeks earlier and I was on the living room floor doing my 4th grade homework. My Mom
had just returned from the Hospital, her face somber and looked as if she had been crying. I didn't pay much attention to it and dove back into my
school work. Moments latter, I heard my Mom talking to my Grandmother. "He's dead, Adam died" My body froze, paralyzed, I could not believe what I
just heard. I can still remember the tears hitting the yellow piece of paper I was doing math on.
That night we got together and we did a lot of crying, mostly us kids, as my parents were putting on their brave face for our sake. We had his funeral
a week later, very difficult for a 9 year old boy to process. I had just lost my leader, my big brother, who I desperately needed in my life. In the
years to follow it think I suppressed those feelings to help me cope with losing him. It took me an additional 16 years before I could go back to his
grave and visit him. I visit every birthday and still cry like a baby. I miss him so much.
So, about a month or so ago I had been watching on the BIO channel a series called " I survived, beyond and back", Its a show about people who had
died and gone to heaven/spirit world and had been revived and brought back to life. I have always found these stories to be fascinating, having always
had a strong faith in God even though he took my Brother at such a young age.
I remember saying to myself, " I cant wait to be there, how wonderful it would be to be in that loving place and out of this hate filled world". The
last time I looked at the clock as I was going to bed was 11:55pm. At 12:07 I jumped from my bed and ran into my living room. I had this presence I
wasn't alone. Any other night if that had happened I would have grabbed my 40.cal pistol out of my night stand, but it was as if I was hoping to find
a person I new.
Thats when I realized what had just happened and I dropped to my knees in my living room. It may have been a dream, but a dream had NEVER felt this
real. There I was standing before Adam, I could not see his face but I knew it was him, I knew it. He had an adult form and his body was like a solid
dark blueish form. Behind him was a brilliant white light, the the right of him it turned from white to a purple/ reddish color, to his left it turned
from white to a bluish color. I remember feeling so excited to see him, like when you haven't seen a dear friend for ages and about to see them but
times a Trillion. As we got closer to eachother he said only two words to me, he said "Not yet". His tone was so loving and I understood it as we
would be together very soon. Who knows what that means, I spent the next waking hour thinking about him and when I get to see him again. I think about
this nearly everyday since it has happened and will continue to until the day I take my last breath.
I just want you all to know that death is a lie, we will continue on is some form or another. We will see all our loved ones again.Love is all that
matters, love is the key. This may have been a just a dream, but I can tell you it felt nothing like a dream, so vivid and clear, so real. I had never
felt that level of peace and content since waking up from that encounter with Adam.Till we meet again Big Brother.
If anyone else has had a similar experience, please share.
edit on 21-9-2011 by RustyNailer because: (no reason given)