Heartbroken... AGAIN

Originally posted by HawkeyeNation
Seriously...how did I know this would turn into a bunch of stalkers lurking after a single female who's profile picture is 99% unlikely to be herself.

Chances are he just didn't like you anymore and thus why he was showing the signs. Sometimes people are afraid to break things off. So moving on was the right thing for both.

Yes, that is me right there. As a matter of fact, I took that picture on a day that i was really excited to see him. I hadn't seen him in about 3 weeks. I made sure that i looked super pretty, dressed nice, etc. He called to tell me he was on his way and then at the very last minute, calls me and tells me " I can't see you today, goodbye". Doesnt call me for three days and then expects everything to be ok later.

As unfortunate as it sounds, that picture reminds me of how much i deserve better now.

Originally posted by blackmetalmist

Originally posted by Gwampo
reply to post by blackmetalmist

 

Lol well you hit the jack-pot of men who are interested in UFO's, paranormal, etc here on ATS. Hope you find someone who shares the same passion in your interests. Shouldn't be tooooo hard here

Thanks. I actually do hope to meet someone here.. lol.. Any single ATS'ers out there ?

I guess time will tell. The sad part was that he pretended to be remotely interested in what i liked in the beginning. Ends up being, all he cared about was sports and beer

Oh good god...let's be honest here. Majority of people don't believe in this crap on ATS. I mean pretty much everything on here is rarely proven to have any credit behind it. I think he was yang to your ying in keeping things real and not fictional.

reply to post by blackmetalmist


I'm really sorry to hear about your relationship going South. A number of us here have recently had to deal with this. But I really have to question your wisdom to be with this person.

Well the fact that he was older was kind of attractive. Im 29, he was 43. He's been married twice and both of those times, he cheated on the women he was with.

You knew he was married twice before and cheated with both partners (by age 43), and that didn't ring any warning bells for you???

Originally posted by HawkeyeNation

Originally posted by blackmetalmist

Originally posted by Gwampo
reply to post by blackmetalmist

 

Lol well you hit the jack-pot of men who are interested in UFO's, paranormal, etc here on ATS. Hope you find someone who shares the same passion in your interests. Shouldn't be tooooo hard here

Thanks. I actually do hope to meet someone here.. lol.. Any single ATS'ers out there ?

I guess time will tell. The sad part was that he pretended to be remotely interested in what i liked in the beginning. Ends up being, all he cared about was sports and beer

Oh good god...let's be honest here. Majority of people don't believe in this crap on ATS. I mean pretty much everything on here is rarely proven to have any credit behind it. I think he was yang to your ying in keeping things real and not fictional.

As much as I hate to admit it.. I'm glad that he did show his true colors. So yes, you are right. The problem was that he dragged this on for so long and promising along the way to change what he did. If anything, i'm more upset at myself for believing all his lies. (which believe me, were plenty)

Originally posted by blackmetalmist

Originally posted by HawkeyeNation
Seriously...how did I know this would turn into a bunch of stalkers lurking after a single female who's profile picture is 99% unlikely to be herself.

Chances are he just didn't like you anymore and thus why he was showing the signs. Sometimes people are afraid to break things off. So moving on was the right thing for both.

Yes, that is me right there. As a matter of fact, I took that picture on a day that i was really excited to see him. I hadn't seen him in about 3 weeks. I made sure that i looked super pretty, dressed nice, etc. He called to tell me he was on his way and then at the very last minute, calls me and tells me " I can't see you today, goodbye". Doesnt call me for three days and then expects everything to be ok later.

As unfortunate as it sounds, that picture reminds me of how much i deserve better now.

Well that's why I left it at 99%...there is that 1% chance that someone actually does post their own picture. Well it sounds like you do deserve better and good luck with that. Just not so sure looking on ATS would be a good place...have you seen the posts and threads that have been created

Originally posted by TortoiseKweek
reply to post by blackmetalmist

 

I'm really sorry to hear about your relationship going South. A number of us here have recently had to deal with this. But I really have to question your wisdom to be with this person.

Well the fact that he was older was kind of attractive. Im 29, he was 43. He's been married twice and both of those times, he cheated on the women he was with.

You knew he was married twice before and cheated with both partners (by age 43), and that didnn't ring any warning bells for you???

I fell into that category of women thinking that it would be different with me. I thought, that maybe i would be pretty enough for him NOT to do that to. He also had a way with words that made me think this time would be different. I honestly don't know if he ever cheated on me or not. I trusted him so I simply figured he really was in love this time and cheating would not be a problem.

Originally posted by SubPop79
Now I don't know the back story, but from my unfortunate experiences as a guy, perhaps he wanted to spend times with his buds? Maybe he feels intimidated by you? If that is you in the picture, I'm not so sure he is worried about looks. This sounds like a problem with connecting. Do you guys have the same interests? Perhaps he wants to talk more about politics or music or writing and not "the fringe."

Not that there is anything wrong with talking about what interests yourself, I just know that when you have known someone for a while, things can get stale, for lack of a better word, especially when you find it hard to connect. There are many, many reasons why it could be hard to connect, and subsequently interact. He could be bored. The passion could have died. Your interests may conflict. He could be intimidated. Common ground could be lost. People change...

It seems to me that many situations like yours are communication breakdowns.

If you really like the guy, try doing something together that you haven't done before. I know I like an intriguing person.

I think you should just talk to him about it. Us guys can be pretty dense towards women, who for me have been pretty forward and spot on. I've learned never to assume anything from a girl. If they don't say it or I don't ask, the topic mayt never come up, whatever that topic may be.

EDIT: Also, if he is in his forties and you are in your twenties, obviously you guys have way different priorities...

edit on 20-9-2011 by SubPop79 because: (no reason given)

I think the problem here was the he didn't take me seriously. Now i'm not just about ATS stuff, I talk about all different subjects and my interests are huge. We talked politics, sports, etc. Everything that a couple does. However, the problem was his disregard for my feelings as a person. He would ignore me for days at a time. He always assumed i'd go running back to him.. which I did.

I've spent a year talking to him and figuring him out. I'm done trying to figure anyone out.. It's a pattern that at 43, i really doubt he is going to break.

Originally posted by blackmetalmist

I thought, that maybe i would be pretty enough for him NOT to do that to.

This is the most worrying thing you have written!

I am 31. Not the most beautiful woman in the world, and less now that the laughter lines and grey hairs are making an appearance

But to someone that actually LOVED me, that wouldn't count one bit.

I think this bloke was in LUST with you. You were a lovely trophy, I should guess.

You're a pretty young woman and we all know it helps being attractive in initially finding someone, but the thing that will keep them coming back is YOU, the person. And don't forget that looks don't last.

I will offer this advice, do with it what you will;
Take some time out from relationships and "looking". Spend some time indulging in the things you like and just get comfortable with who you are as a person. Hang out with some friends. These are the people you should already feel comfortable with. Some of the most lasting relationships I have known of have been the development of friendships into much more.

Best wishes

reply to post by blackmetalmist

Thanks. I actually do hope to meet someone here.. lol.. Any single ATS'ers out there ?

Bingo..there is the hidden motive behind this whole thread...



Just another I'm so good, and all I get is shmucks BS..

How truly self serving..anyone with a half a brain could see what your real motives are...

you can talk to me if you want i dont really know anything about you other than this topic, im 22 so im not quite as mature as he is. But i would listen to you on any topic you speak about regardless if i liked it or not. I don't understand how both guys and girls too can treat love like a game, i havent been in love for a while now but i pray to God that there is a girl out there that will love me back and just be pure and real.
I wish you all the best in your wonderful life

He sounds like a jerk, who's been stringin' you along all the time.

Somebody as beautiful as you (inside & out) deserves a lot better, than to be treated this way.

I agree with my man, Tort though...2 divorces, with the reason being, he cheated on his ex-wives.

That should have got your alarm bells ringin'.

& yes, I'm an available ATS Brit stud, here to meet your every needs.

You are 29 and he is 43. Red flag #1!!

He has been married before and admitted cheating on both ex wives...... Red Flag #2!!

When choosing someone to hang with or to spend some time with there is no need for flags to be of any concern.

BUT......

When you choose someone to hold on to for a while....at least make sure they are worth your time....

As for this joker.... ....

just don't worry about it.

Hold your head up high girl....and yell "NEXT"!!! lol

I had to edit to add....

When a man (or woman) does a lot of sweet talking that is all gravy...love it.... but when you make them prove those sweet words that right there may tell you a lot more. Oh you are this and that and I really love you. You do this and you do that to me and blah blah blah... that is when you say..... Really? Prove it.

There are not many who can really back the words up because most do not even KNOW what they really wan from minute to minute. Just sayin'.

reply to post by gabby2011


Don't worry Gabby.

There's plenty of me to go around, for all you ATS ladies.

Thanks. I actually do hope to meet someone here.. lol.. Any single ATS'ers out there ?

I guess time will tell. The sad part was that he pretended to be remotely interested in what i liked in the beginning. Ends up being, all he cared about was sports and beer

after this i stopped feeling sorry for you....obviously your feelings were not hurt as bad as you implied or the last thing on your mind would be...is there anyone single on a website...go look for pitty and attention elsewhere.

Originally posted by SmoKeyHaZe
reply to post by gabby2011

 

Don't worry Gabby.

There's plenty of me to go around, for all you ATS ladies.

that's funny.. trust me..looking for male flattery or love on ATS is not on my to do list.

Beware to those who fall for the poor me stories ...because once entwined..they will be next in being listed as the the insensitive shmuck, who never understood..

So..no worries SmoKeyHaZe..not n the least bit interested.

Originally posted by gabby2011
reply to post by blackmetalmist

 

Thanks. I actually do hope to meet someone here.. lol.. Any single ATS'ers out there ?

Bingo..there is the hidden motive behind this whole thread...

Just another I'm so good, and all I get is shmucks BS..

How truly self serving..anyone with a half a brain could see what your real motives are...

No, it was only said in humor. The reason for me posting this on ATS has absolutely nothing to do with finding men. Most of the guys here dont even have their pictures up and I've been approached by one or two who are simply weird. All in all, it would be nice to find someone who shares similar interest. Regardless of where i meet them , ATS, the libarary, etc.

Originally posted by Calex1987

Thanks. I actually do hope to meet someone here.. lol.. Any single ATS'ers out there ?

I guess time will tell. The sad part was that he pretended to be remotely interested in what i liked in the beginning. Ends up being, all he cared about was sports and beer

after this i stopped feeling sorry for you....obviously your feelings were not hurt as bad as you implied or the last thing on your mind would be...is there anyone single on a website...go look for pitty and attention elsewhere.

edit on 20-9-2011 by Calex1987 because: (no reason given)

Great, having a sense of humor after a breakup is being taken as an attention call..@@: I don't need anyones pitty. I want advice and thanks to all of you who have offered it. I'm really trying this breakup not to get me down and thus turned to ATS for some advice.

If i wanted attention, i'd be hitting my local bar. I understand that you dont know me in a personal level and maybe that is why you think that. It's ok, that's your opinion.

Thank you to all who responded with great advice. I really appreciated every single word.

Originally posted by MamaJ
You are 29 and he is 43. Red flag #1!!

He has been married before and admitted cheating on both ex wives...... Red Flag #2!!

When choosing someone to hang with or to spend some time with there is no need for flags to be of any concern.

BUT......

When you choose someone to hold on to for a while....at least make sure they are worth your time....

As for this joker....

....

just don't worry about it.

Hold your head up high girl....and yell "NEXT"!!! lol

I had to edit to add....

When a man (or woman) does a lot of sweet talking that is all gravy...love it.... but when you make them prove those sweet words that right there may tell you a lot more. Oh you are this and that and I really love you. You do this and you do that to me and blah blah blah... that is when you say..... Really? Prove it.

There are not many who can really back the words up because most do not even KNOW what they really wan from minute to minute. Just sayin'.

edit on 20-9-2011 by MamaJ because: (no reason given)

Thank you MamaJ. I love reading your responses here on ATS. They are always full of wisdome and thought.

I'll defnitely look for better times, wether single or dating.

Originally posted by Mouldilocks

Originally posted by blackmetalmist

I thought, that maybe i would be pretty enough for him NOT to do that to.

This is the most worrying thing you have written!

I am 31. Not the most beautiful woman in the world, and less now that the laughter lines and grey hairs are making an appearance

But to someone that actually LOVED me, that wouldn't count one bit.

I think this bloke was in LUST with you. You were a lovely trophy, I should guess.

You're a pretty young woman and we all know it helps being attractive in initially finding someone, but the thing that will keep them coming back is YOU, the person. And don't forget that looks don't last.

I will offer this advice, do with it what you will;
Take some time out from relationships and "looking". Spend some time indulging in the things you like and just get comfortable with who you are as a person. Hang out with some friends. These are the people you should already feel comfortable with. Some of the most lasting relationships I have known of have been the development of friendships into much more.

Best wishes

Thank you very much! I definitely will take some time off to myself and dedicate my time to developing more as a spiritual person. I've let that part of me lose itself, but i realized that i first have to love myself.

I thought many times that i was probably being selfish, but then i realized, if i dont lookk after myself, who will ?

Im sure he is busy moving on with his life. Theres no reason why i shouldnt move on with mine.

Judge Judy say's


Beauty fades.............

Dumb is forever...........


I couldn't agree with her more