Heartbroken... AGAIN

So I was dating this person for about a year and I though he was the perfect man at first.. Then a year later I finally realize that all he really was using me in every single way. My emotions didn't mean anything to him, my words, my thoughts. Everytime I started talking about stuff that interested me (UFO, Paranormal, Conspiracy, Quantum Physics, etc) , he would hurry to get off the phone or simply just nod his head. I'm mad at myself for not seeing this earlier and turning a blind eye to it. Its so hard to find a person who just wants you for who you are and what you are. Why are men sometimes so insensitive? Where have all the men that are sensitive gone ?

PS. AND YES THIS IS ME

Well ufo and conspiracy talk doesnt sound bad, but most women become pretty annoying after a while. Maybe you were just to smart for him.

On the flip side at least your hott so finding a new guy wont be hard where as for most guys its a different story so not sure how much sympathy you deserve.

Originally posted by blackmetalmist
So I was dating this person for about a year and I though he was the perfect man at first.. Then a year later I finally realize that all he really was using me in every single way. My emotions didn't mean anything to him, my words, my thoughts. Everytime I started talking about stuff that interested me (UFO, Paranormal, Conspiracy, Quantum Physics, etc) , he would hurry to get off the phone or simply just nod his head. I'm mad at myself for not seeing this earlier and turning a blind eye to it. Its so hard to find a person who just wants you for who you are and what you are. Why are men sometimes so insensitive? Where have all the men that are sensitive gone

?

* Hugs blackmetalmist *

Sorry to hear about that...But then you gotta ask yourself B; was he really worth it? You said he was "the perfect man"...Well, there is no perfect man out there...But how did you fall for him in the first place?

To quote Bob Marley: "Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.."

When you say, he was using you in every single way..How, so? If you don't mind sayin', that is...It's ok if you don't, I completely understand

You gotta understand, that talkin' about deep & sensitive subjects like that with someone, can be a difficult thing to do...Especially if he can be ignorant& not open-minded, at all.

Just U2U me if you ever feel like havin' a chat, or a shoulder to lean on...

when you find the right person you will know there the one, you just have to weed out all the sh#te ones first but dont get down about it you will find the one

come to ireland i'll look after you lol.

obviously he wasnt worth it, so dont dwell on it dont let anyone drain your spirit. take it from me (male) you wont find it very hard to meet someone else your very good looking. maybe find an ATS'er close to LA you'll always have something in common.

reply to post by blackmetalmist


Lol well you hit the jack-pot of men who are interested in UFO's, paranormal, etc here on ATS. Hope you find someone who shares the same passion in your interests. Shouldn't be tooooo hard here

reply to post by blackmetalmist


Sorry to hear about your troubles. But I dont think it men in general are insensitive (I'm a man myself and I think I am very sensitive ).

I think it comes down to people, your ex sounds a lot like my ex girl friend. Every time I would bring up ANYTHING paranormal, or conspiratorial she would either laugh or just ignore me while nodding her head. She would only carry on a conversation if it was something she was interested in and would belittle my opinions. She was a sociopath just like a lot of people are now days. They have been betrayed by their own egos.

My suggestion. You can do better...there is someone out there for you, who will share this life with you.

ETS: Now prepare to be hit on by all the lonely heavy breathing PCT's out there longing for a girl friend lol.

"Life's like an amusement ride, there are ups and downs, but it's just a ride."

Don't dwell, don't have regrets and you'll get to where you wanna be.

Originally posted by SmoKeyHaZe

Originally posted by blackmetalmist
So I was dating this person for about a year and I though he was the perfect man at first.. Then a year later I finally realize that all he really was using me in every single way. My emotions didn't mean anything to him, my words, my thoughts. Everytime I started talking about stuff that interested me (UFO, Paranormal, Conspiracy, Quantum Physics, etc) , he would hurry to get off the phone or simply just nod his head. I'm mad at myself for not seeing this earlier and turning a blind eye to it. Its so hard to find a person who just wants you for who you are and what you are. Why are men sometimes so insensitive? Where have all the men that are sensitive gone

?

* Hugs blackmetalmist *

Sorry to hear about that...But then you gotta ask yourself B; was he really worth it? You said he was "the perfect man"...Well, there is no perfect man out there...But how did you fall for him in the first place?

To quote Bob Marley: "Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.."

When you say, he was using you in every single way..How, so? If you don't mind sayin', that is...It's ok if you don't, I completely understand

You gotta understand, that talkin' about deep & sensitive subjects like that with someone, can be a difficult thing to do...Especially if he can be ignorant& not open-minded, at all.

Just U2U me if you ever feel like havin' a chat, or a shoulder to lean on...

edit on 20-9-2011 by SmoKeyHaZe because: (no reason given)

Well the fact that he was older was kind of attractive. Im 29, he was 43. He's been married twice and both of those times, he cheated on the women he was with. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that we broke up. I have alot to offer someone and maybe all he was going to end up doing was making me wife #3 and then cheat on me too

To most people, you're a wack. You're going to have to find someone like minded that you can talk to and he can respond within same level of understanding. People like us are odd because we never stop learning and trying to understand what life is all about. Meanwhile on their level, they think they had everything figured out by the time they finished high school and thus stopped attempting to gain a better understanding of what reality really is.

Now I don't know the back story, but from my unfortunate experiences as a guy, perhaps he wanted to spend times with his buds? Maybe he feels intimidated by you? If that is you in the picture, I'm not so sure he is worried about looks. This sounds like a problem with connecting. Do you guys have the same interests? Perhaps he wants to talk more about politics or music or writing and not "the fringe."

Not that there is anything wrong with talking about what interests yourself, I just know that when you have known someone for a while, things can get stale, for lack of a better word, especially when you find it hard to connect. There are many, many reasons why it could be hard to connect, and subsequently interact. He could be bored. The passion could have died. Your interests may conflict. He could be intimidated. Common ground could be lost. People change...

It seems to me that many situations like yours are communication breakdowns.

If you really like the guy, try doing something together that you haven't done before. I know I like an intriguing person.

I think you should just talk to him about it. Us guys can be pretty dense towards women, who for me have been pretty forward and spot on. I've learned never to assume anything from a girl. If they don't say it or I don't ask, the topic mayt never come up, whatever that topic may be.

EDIT: Also, if he is in his forties and you are in your twenties, obviously you guys have way different priorities...

I don´t know if this will help but i´ll post anyway.
Its about what love is not.


By the way, you look soo pretty.

reply to post by blackmetalmist


Sorry to hear about this but as a Man I do find that Women are more mature than most Men are.

Listening to what you are interested in, most average guys just are not developmentally there yet.

I think a quick way to surmise and ascertain as to where someone's head is is to look at their perspective as it pertains to animals.

If a Man can love a poor animal then that's a good sign.

But if he relegates them to dumb and thoughtless, that's also a good sign to make like a tree and LEAF !

Because that's exactly how he'll feel about you before too long.

Simply having grown up with Guys...played sports and the likes, there were very few I could really open up with and discuss what I was truly interested in.

But in order to be accepted I'd switch gears and talk about the "game" and working on my Car and other guy stuff...

But I have found that animal lovers are more considerate and caring individuals which carries over to their human friends as well.

So that's a good place to start ....

Buena Suerte,


PEACE

*hugs* i feel for you i really do....but i guess it goes both ways i was with a girl for 6 half years.....and for the most part it started good then turned into an all about her n thats it...she refused to be any part of anything i found interesting yet i held on for longer then i should of.....its all about the person but those type end of lonely and single.....


was single for a year then a girl i dated back in highschool that i never gave a chance to came along...ive never felt so happy or free with someone i can talk her ear off about stuff on here and she'll listen just because its what i enjoy...and i return the favor to her....if you cant have a 50/50 relationship where you give and get back the same why bother....it'll never work.

Originally posted by Gwampo
reply to post by blackmetalmist

 

Lol well you hit the jack-pot of men who are interested in UFO's, paranormal, etc here on ATS. Hope you find someone who shares the same passion in your interests. Shouldn't be tooooo hard here

Thanks. I actually do hope to meet someone here.. lol.. Any single ATS'ers out there ?

I guess time will tell. The sad part was that he pretended to be remotely interested in what i liked in the beginning. Ends up being, all he cared about was sports and beer

They say opposites attract, but in my experience the novelty of having different interest and opinions wears off quickly. For me this typically falls in the 3-6 month range, at that point additional time invested into the relationship heavily depends on how good other aspects of the relationship are...if you know what I am saying

Not being an @$$hole just dealing out a little truth regarding the matter at hand. I have actually vowed off relationships for a while, if I meet someone that blows my sox off than I won't have issue jumping in heads first. But we as people constantly find ourselves bending our own feelings and and wants to suit those of our partner. How am I to ever discover who I trully am and want to be, if I have someone attempting to influence me all the while.

I am sorry for your breakup as it is never easy. But my advice....don't spend so much time worrying about tomorrow (relationship wise), let time heal and pursue what you are trully passionate about. Love comes when you least expect it. Just my .02

Good luck!

Originally posted by blackmetalmist
So I was dating this person for about a year and I though he was the perfect man at first.. Then a year later I finally realize that all he really was using me in every single way. My emotions didn't mean anything to him, my words, my thoughts. Everytime I started talking about stuff that interested me (UFO, Paranormal, Conspiracy, Quantum Physics, etc) , he would hurry to get off the phone or simply just nod his head. I'm mad at myself for not seeing this earlier and turning a blind eye to it. Its so hard to find a person who just wants you for who you are and what you are. Why are men sometimes so insensitive? Where have all the men that are sensitive gone

?

Hah, I somewhat know how you feel - I'm the one interested in all the 'weird' stuff and my girlfiend is in love with society itself and could care less about the fringe issues, politics, or anything outside a narrow scope of life (I can't understand how makeup, watching TV shows about other peoples' lives, or fashion magazines are all the interesting...).

It's been awhile since I've been on the market, but I don't think it's terribly hard to find a person who just wants you as you are, though - is it possible you're looking for something a little too specific as far as looks or status and thus limiting your own options?

Regardless, there are plenty of sensitive men out there, and it's humans in general that are insensitive. Just don't rush, enjoy being yourself and knowing who you are, and take your time getting to know someone before jumping into a new relationship. Just with what bit you've mentioned here, you sound like you'd be fun to talk to, so I don't think you'll have too hard a time as long as you aren't cutting out some viable candidates before finding out that's what they are.

Take care, sister, and good luck.

Seriously...how did I know this would turn into a bunch of stalkers lurking after a single female who's profile picture is 99% unlikely to be herself.

Chances are he just didn't like you anymore and thus why he was showing the signs. Sometimes people are afraid to break things off. So moving on was the right thing for both.

reply to post by blackmetalmist


i was going to say the same thing about women.....3 years and 7 month now since i basically have given up. (that's a long drought) and i am sensitive, funny, animal lover, musician, and not too bad on the eyes either, but for some reason it's really tough to find someone. I am waiting for the right one (again)

Originally posted by HawkeyeNation
Seriously...how did I know this would turn into a bunch of stalkers lurking after a single female who's profile picture is 99% unlikely to be herself.

Im so guilty on that