How do you feed someone who is always 'hungry'?

reply to post by nusnus


The best solution to this problem is to let go of the people in your life that do this. Emotions are passed on in day to day life, and if people feel that they can either feed on your good emotions or easily spread their negative emotions they will be attracted by you.

Get rid of these kind of people in your life. Anyone who drags you down doesn't deserve your attention. All it can take to spread negativity is a frown or a yell. If you are a happy, balanced person just distance yourself from these negative types.

reply to post by nusnus


an individual was draining a disabled friend of mine.
1st time i met this character he arrived unannounced. no hello or how are you? he instantly initiated
a loud tirade of negativity, body language was aggressive
relating to various experiences he had. the individual claimed he was being targeted
with psychometric weapons to keep him from revealing certain information he claimed
would blow the lid off the secrecy box relating to political and commercial interests.
upon requesting details he jumped to what he believed were other instances and examples
to back up his 1st belief. quite a fractured collection of incidents.

2nd time i met this character, see above.

3rd time i met this character, see above.

my friend was clearly worn down by this guy and
confided in me that others who had been present during an unannounced visit were also
distressed by his manner and brutal attitude. they usually left during this one sided
conversation stating later they were mentally exhausted.

on the third occasion i decided to bring it to it's lowest common denominator.
i focused on his status. married with kids. he said he was prepared to die for what he
claimed was a cover up. i asked him if he had considered the potential danger he could
be putting his family in. his answer shocked me and the other two guys present. he said he would
pull out all the stops to uncover what he claimed was a conspiracy against him to silence his
belief. i asked him again, did he consider the danger he may be exposing his family to. same
answer came back. i asked if he cared for his family enough to shut up. his answer, in a more
hostile and louder attitude was that he would do anything to expose this conspiracy.
i informed him he was out of order and the best course of action would be to keep his mouth
shut and concentrate on keeping his family safe. we were both stood by this time approx 1 metre
apart and i sensed he was about to attack me. i eyeballed him as he wieghed me up and threw a
mind bullet his way just so he knew i was ready for him. he knew i was ready and backed off.
i again stated he was out of order and needed to think of others before himself. he walked out.
further reports of this guy have come back to me and now i am targeted and part of his conspiracy.

it is of no concern what he thinks about me. furthermore, the unannounced visits have ceased much
to the relief of my friend. with characters like these a constant state of vigilance is required.
i later found out this guy used to beat up his first wife on a regular basis. when his brother in law
got wind of it, payback came a calling.

during a conversation with said friend, i informed him that this guy does need him to offload onto.
i stressed that he should nail some rules down on the guy and anyone else wanting a soap box.
if he can live with that,fair enough. if not, show him the door.

repetition is a dead giveaway. refusal to take advice is another.
as neil peart wrote in the camera eye, 'one must put up barriers to keep oneself intact'.

take care with individuals like the above. they have all the time in the world to assert
their inflexible beliefs on others. the question is, do you have all the time in the world
to listen to the same broken record after all advice given is ignored?

take care
fakedirt.

reply to post by nusnus

So my question remains...I've tried everything I know. I've tried to counteract these insatiably 'hungry' souls with positivity, it doesn't work. I've tried consoling them with advice, they become more insatiable, I've tried cutting them off, but that I feel guilty.

I'f you give there will always be people who will be willing to receive or even take. When you have nothing left to give they will go away, so sooner or later they will go away in one way or another. If they overreach or overstay there welcome you should make it clear that they are not welcome. And your guilt will be a downfall if you let it.

What do I do? How does one counteract these type of people? I don't think they can be categorized as 'energy vamps' per se but they come pretty close.

Change yourself or the energy type you give off and they will go away.

To add some more information to my original question, I'm not trying to counteract these people for my own benefit. Its completely and utterly for THEIR own good. I wan't to put an end to the 'emptiness' inside of these people but its like a bottomless pit. Any suggestions and experiences are welcome.

OK first you can not help them, no one can truly help anybody else, all you can do is point a finger to a way out. But the rest is up to them. And really you can not do anything about the "emptiness" inside of them, that is for them to deal with and for them to overcome. So the best you can do is just be there as a guide, but if you get to involved into it, eventually it will consume you to.

Trust you me, I know a thing or two about the thing you define as "emptiness" because sometimes I am like a black hole. And I even know what your talking about in projecting negativity, for I have walked that path and still travel upon it from time to time. It is a interesting place to be, and in its own way it is very soothing place to be in. You can learn and see much from being in that vibration.

But it does project out into the world, and it does effect people, sometimes when I was in that mode I effected everybody around me and sometimes it effected everybody for miles around, and even sometimes even on the internet my gravity can even seethe trough to effect others. Both by my knowingly doing it, and even unconsciously as just as a side effect.

So I would say to set up some rules and boundaries to them, and let them know. And the first that passes those boundaries you placed or breaks those rules, then forget about him/her and get a new friend or whatever they are to you. Because no one can truly help everybody, all we can do is enjoy the ride we are on together for as long as it lasts. And some people just need a swift reminder or boot to the ass, that they need to make an effort of putting energy into it themselves. And to quit being such leaches.

And always remember that it takes two to tango, so you to feed of them only in different ways, just as they feed of you. If it were not so then you would not be in the situation you say your in. But really we all feed of each-other constantly in all kinds of ways, it is only when it becomes detrimental that it becomes classed as bad, and sometimes people just change and move on away from each-other into different paths and vibrations.

So not only do you have to learn to say "NO", but you have to learn to say "Goodbye" even to that which you thought would always be with you, or you would always be with.

Originally posted by nusnus
reply to post by Deckard666

 

You're honest and spot on Deckard666.

And I may come to you for a taste of the pan of truth later as well

however..

the portion of me that leads me to such situations is partially my ego...the other part...is a big unknown...

i feel it...its not just my overgrown hero complex ..its something else...but i can't see it...im not objective enough

but thank u

It is your conscience. The hallmark of a real empathic individual. But your conscience isn't getting all the data. Try to see and FEEL! things from your own perspective through your conscience. The sooner you know the feeling and pulses of your own conscience the sooner you will be able to control it. Because others can and will use your own conscience against you if you do not learn self control.

I appreciate all of your responses. Thank you!

Go study about Borderline Personality Disorder. I had one of those friends back in the '70's. They are like,
"I --hate-- you. where are you! I demand to know! Why didn't you tell me! Now I'm gonna kill myself! I need you!"
It's like being in Hell

reply to post by simone50m


That sounds terrible simone50m, I hope this doesn't get as bad as what you experienced. I simply feel like I'm being walked into a guilt ridden situation just because I don't want to go along with my friends requests for attention. But yea...sound like she might have something similar going on. Thanks!

Trust yourself.

You question yourself by putting the word “issue” in quotes and then use the word “dilemma” in the next sentence. You also do this when you put “hungry” next to “insatiable.” Note the extremes: Issue becomes dilemma, hungry becomes insatiability. Stand firm in truth. Truth is a constant. If something “seems to be,” is it? It is. Say what you mean and the truth will set you free. Suspend judgment of yourself. Your words reflect the emotionally difficult spot you are in. I hope my words help you.

"Almost, always, all… seem to be:" Try and narrow it down and try not to speak in absolutes, such as “always” or “never.” Life is not black and white, unless you’re a Ying-Yang symbol. Seem to be. Seem to be. To be, or not to be, that is the question. Trust yourself. Ask yourself, “Can someone be unintentionally always in need?” Accidents are unintentional. Repeated actions are intentional. If the person continues to come at you with the same thing, they feel they can. And they only can, because you allow them. If YOU’RE feeling drained and don’t know how to share it, how do they know how you feel unless you tell them? Unless you tell them, you may feel their behavior is “unintentional,” because if they knew how much their negativity was dragging you down, surely they wouldn’t proceed. Surely they must care as I do. Don’t lie to yourself. Speak truth, don’t assume, and trust yourself. It is OK to protect yourself. If someone slammed your hand in a door, would you give them a kiss or scream?

“Always in need…constantly demanding…” Again, your use of always here. Try keeping a journal to start, or diary. Write down when these events occur, and look back on your journal/diary later to evaluate the situation. You may find they don’t happen always.

Why associate when it is “always negative?” What keeps you in these relationships? If it is fear, remember fear is a negative emotion.

"The more I give to satisfy the 'hunger' or deep rooted 'emptiness' these friends have, the more their hunger grows. In time it turns into jealousy...and obsession even. I've seen it happen. It is scary."

You answer your question here. How do you feed someone who is always hungry? You can’t. It’s a paradox. Insatiable means never satisfied. Are you never satisfied with your friends? Are there times when they are not negative? Are there times you are satisfied? You’re satisfaction is paramount, not theirs, especially if their satisfaction is along the lines of misery loves company.

Tell them you cannot help them, but you care for them and want to see them find the help they need, if you want to help them still.

Don’t try and counteract, unless you like conflict. Don’t counteract, just be. You are not an emotional punching bag. You are the light of the world.

You say it’s “For their own good.” Try and let it alone, and let them exercise their free will as they see fit. Tell them how it effects you and stand up for yourself or find someone who will stand with you if you are afraid. If you stare at a bottomless pit long enough, you might get vertigo and fall in. If you see someone on fire, and they yell, “Help me!,” there is only so much you can do. Setting yourself on fire to feel their pain doesn’t help them or you. Find a fire extinguisher. Peer pressure is difficult, but you will survive it if you trust yourself.

I just released myself from such a relationship. It's dreadful.

Someone always requiring your full attention, attacking all the other persons you find interest in. Always being a victim and unable to do nothing to help himself, you being his last hope because you are "so strong and smart". Counteracting every confrontation with sweet nothings, and avoiding the reality all together.
Before I even noticed I was doing more for him than for myself; I neglected everyone else in my life, I started feeling tired, insecure and lonely, because it was never good enough. There was always more to do to satisfy the beast. No matter how much I tried and I sacrificed, it was not enough. All the while he did nothing other than demanding for more.

When I finally threw it all away, I felt a deep release; and I realized it was always me. I needed to be needed, and he only used that. Some people live like lice, riding other people's emotional weaknesses. But it's always us who attract them in the first place.
Let them go. Stop paying attention to all their games; it's only a play. They are not victims. Before you will know it they'll be riding someone else, happy with an intake of fresh blood.
Just as an experiment, try making some demands too. Demand attention. Pretend you are down and need some support. And you'll see how fast they will leave the nest in search for another nanny.

Otherwise they'll burn you out. And then they will leave you.

reply to post by danats


I loved your message. Thank you. It has been heard

reply to post by WhiteHat


Yes I have tried this. When I demand attention they rarely give it

reply to post by nusnus


stop engaging them. do not feed them if get the same result regardless of what you do quit. if it is becoming detrimental to you, I don't understand why you continue.. unless you are like them ....insatiable..a glutton for punishment.

the solution is simple... stop...:/