posted on Sep, 15 2011 @ 04:52 AM
I’m a new member here and something that has a real interest to me is the human mind. So I wanted to start a new topic on the issues the title
mentions, im sorry for the long post but I feel I do need to include all of this below,
I suffered a very traumatic experience when I was a child, after the incident it took a further 21 years to realise this had an impact on me at all, I
can now finally accept what has happened and was real and that it really has greatly effected me in every way, not overlooking I am still dealing with
other areas to this day.
I have not seen a lot of accounts of real people, there feelings in regards to the aftermath ( not what took place ) of accepting and dealing or dealt
with trauma they have undergone and the huge step they have taken in dealing with it.
BUT, there are a lot of people who may not understand, especially people who have not encountered such trauma. In my experience of dealing with what
happened, I have found something that is to me quite worrying, people who show the same effects and symptoms of trauma, I would call this through,
self programing. Certain people I have encountered in life have been conditioning themselves to the same thought pattern as myself, I’m talking
about what I can only describe as “The Daydream”, the “harmless” place your mind wanders to from time to time.
So give a quick understanding (and I mean quick as I could right 1000 pages on what has happened and the 21 years of the incidents effects and
feelings on me)
I feel like at the moment of what happened to me I underwent a change, unable to deal with what happened on the inside, it became my outside, myself,
became on the inside, or to the average person, how u feel when you’ve just spent 5 min in a daydream, that “oh sorry I zoned out, but I was still
listening I know what you said”.
This unfortunately became the norm, and I didn’t even know, it’s difficult to look back and see most of your life on autopilot, aware enough you
can function perfectly, but feeling loss of time, and your subconscious making the decisions, your body doing the motions of things you have
previously been taught, it is quite difficult to explain , someone should be able to be in a quiet room for more than 1 second, and not immediately
disappear into a daydream or another example is driving your car and realise your at your destination and you drove 10 miles on “autopilot”.
Now what im seeing as the more I deal with my issues, is the same issues in other people ( by no means everyone, just certain people I have
encountered through my life )who have not undergone trauma, having the same things happen through self programing, so I will give an example;
Jane Doe is focused, smart, fun and friendly, never really taken an interest in tv, but a new tv show captures her attention and she becomes hooked,
now while around friends, jane likes to talk about this new tv show she has became “hooked” on, when not around friends she is thinking about
whats going to happen next week, spending more and more time thinking about it.
As the years go on, more and more TV shows capture her attention, she thinks about them, news, internet and music too, Jane now spends a lot of time
“day dreaming” thinking about all these things that keep her interest, more and more she finds a lot of things boring, rather than dealing with
something then and there, without stress, she likes to really “think and process”. Things like work are very boring and it easy to just daydream
through the day, but still able to do what she should be, but unaware she is actually in auto pilot most of her time now.
A once neat tidy Jane, now clumsy, bumping into things, easily bored cause she always “daydreaming”, because she spends to much time on autopilot,
her subconscious is in theory taking over the role as her conscious mind, and really, doing what she has programed it how to be while she is away,
unaware, friends and family say Jane has changed, no longer appreciating little things and emotions that should be dealt with inside like anger,
frustration, worries are all displayed and interacted with on the outside and you have someone who is depressed and just not really sure why they feel
the way they do.
As I said, this will not apply to all people, but this is what I see, things keeping the brain soo busy in a long term can have the same effects as
trauma, two separate incidents have two people both being able to carry out day to day duties, but just daydreaming the day away, the perfect zombie
I would certainly like to hear your thoughts, especially anyone who has actually suffered trauma and been able to comprehend it and deal / dealing
with it, or if u feel you might be slipping into the daydream mentioned above.
If you feel u want to discuss anything further, or would like to know more about my situation to help your own, please don’t hesitate to ask.