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» “Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
» “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
» “Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
» “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
» “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
» “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
» “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
» “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
» “You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”
» “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
» “Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
Originally posted by icepack
sorry, no offense, but i just dont get the joke. i read the lines, but cannot find anything funny.
Directed $25 million anal shipping
Genuine Council Complaints
-extracts from letters sent to various Councils and Housing Associations throughout the U.K.
I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand.
I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.
I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. We are getting married in September and she would like it in the garden before we move house.
Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
Originally posted by DaddyBare
reply to post by wigit
Could have been worse...
they could have Finished eighth in my class of six