posted on Sep, 13 2011 @ 04:45 AM
Painfulhead sat on an old chair in a dimly lit room. A room void of furnishings and absent of articles. There was just enough light to see this lack
of decor. To see the nothingness in its perfect application. Walls of pale white rolled around the room filling it with an emptiness that trumped the
lack of decor. Somehow making the nothingness seem busy with purpose. A purposeful complete covering of milky white. The room’s emptiness was stark
and clinical. Scrubbed clean years ago and dirtied over time by the air. The unseen settling of dust. There where no furnishing or knick knacks at
all. Vacated and empty except for the old chair that held the body of a man lost in a battle of question.
Next to the door jam of the half closed exit was a square hole. Not at the walls middle but just higher. Some how looking like it was both cut and
punched into the wall. It was surrounded by the original wall white out line of a slightly larger square. Out of this hole stuck two bare wires. The
wires not straight but curvy with the memory of past twists and bends. Not bare like bashful nudity but bare with danger and uncertainty. It was this
danger and uncertainty that was hypnotizing Painfulhead. It was emotion and feeling that was the paralyzer. Temptation and desire ran in circles
around the room teasing Painfulhead with cat calls and laughter.
He remained motionless. There was no telling how long Painfulhead had been sitting in that chair starring at the bare wires. It was however obvious
that he was in the deepest of thought. Looking so deeply down the road of understanding that all the out side world had to take a number and wait in
line. The temptation was real and over powering. As Painfulhead stared his mind found life examples of giving in to and then dealing with the
consequences of temptation. He walked through memories and remembered feelings. Times before with lack of control and the harsh reality of
consequence. Times of foolishness, poor choices and the possibility of euphoric payoffs. He knew that there was no reason for there to be questions
just decisions and actions, rewords or penance.
The wires had a kind of magical draw that made Painfulhead feel helpless. Like a unsupervised candy dish to a child. The lure was magnetic, knowing
better then but feeling compelled to. This was the dilemma. Painfulhead knew in his logical mind that he shouldn't give into temptation. That the
action alone was wrong and the content meaningless. One should use the power of the mind to think with logic, make dissension based in fact and over
rule the need for joy or self servitude. That is the scale that one is supposed to use to think with. The old idea of using pros and cons to help make
a decision. If it where a fair trade, this system would work well. However emotions and feelings will change the weight of items from both sides
throwing off the whole scale. Then comes desire. It can pick one pro or con and make it so powerful logic, clarity, and rational goes out the window.
Acting on a craving to get in touch with your animal self. To fill a need deep with in ones soul.
Painfulhead knew very well why he wanted to and could not stop himself from touching the wires. He had a deeper understanding of the real possibility
of a spiritual moment. He wanted to grab a memory and pull it to the present. A recreation of something great. Here in lies the problem. In order to
find out he must touch them. Painfulhead had touched these wires before so he was bound to loose. Trying to stop him self was futile. He remembered
both touching the wires and the consequences of that touch. But it wasn't good enough as a memory.
Painfulhead was dispirited and torn because he didn't want to touch them yet he feared, and knew that he would. As a matter of fact over the last
few minutes he had started to think that touching them would be worth any price. Feeling as if the whole reason he was here was to touch them. The
possible joy was to much of a temptation. Painfulhead ability to remember times in his life with clarity of image and emotion would always be his down
fall. This would be the clincher. The real motivator. The human desire to feel joy, love, or a sense of connection is to strong to hold back. The
negative can never tip the scale in its favor.
In that moment, as if the whole time was in preparation, Painfulhead moved towards the wires. Swallowing reason and logic and hopeful of pleasure he
extended his hand and grabbed tight the wires.
Painfulhead sat on an old chair in a dimly lit room. A room void of furnishings and absent of articles. There was just enough