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"Psychiatric" "help" "$0.05": The "doctor" is in!

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posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 05:54 AM
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Please note the "ironic" scare quotes around the words in the title, ATS. To wit, let me clear a few things up:

-I'm not a doctor, or a professional, or anything. I'm a cashier. So keep that in mind.

-Whatever I write in this thread is for entertainment purposes only. If you really need serious help you are advised to seek it from a professional. Once again, I am not a professional anything. However, I will attempt to listen to you and give you whatever sincere advice I can, worthless though it may be.

-I will try to keep religion out of it. Politics, maybe not so much.

With that in mind, the "doctor" (who is no doctor) is "in" (in the virtual sense of the word). Any patients in the waiting room?


edit on 12-9-2011 by Partygirl because: (no reason given)




posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 05:58 AM
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Originally posted by Partygirl
oops, please wait, editing. I made a mistake. Back in a second....watch this space....
edit on 12-9-2011 by Partygirl because: (no reason given)


LOLZOR



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 06:05 AM
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reply to post by spw184
 


Definitely a case of attention issues. Take this scrip, to the pharmacy, begone.

Next?



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 06:07 AM
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Hi Doc!

So my friend (who really is a Psych Doc) called me tonight for advice. Check this out. His brother is getting married on Sunday, and he is supposed to be the best man. Problem is, the bride to be has dis-invited his long-time girlfriend (like 7 years) because she wants the wedding to be "perfect." So now he has to either dis his brother or the woman he is going to marry. What should he do?



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 06:08 AM
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I like it when my cat wears a tutu and follows me into the walk in pantry while singing the national anthem... WHAT DO I DO DOCTOR ;-;



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 06:08 AM
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reply to post by Partygirl
 


Am i crazy?
3rd line.



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 06:13 AM
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reply to post by WoundedByHonesty
 


Hi there wounded!

That's pretty messed up. I would advise him to force his brother to gang up and the two of them corner the bride and try to get to the problem of what the issue is. People rememeber stuff like weddings forever and it sets a really bad tone, it could really damage relationships between the two branches of the family. It sounds to me that the bride is being petty, unless she really does have some serious reason for hating the other guy's gf. Either way, they should find out together and sort it out because stuff like this doesn't "age" well.



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 06:15 AM
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reply to post by spw184
 


Didn't I send you down to the pharmacy? Back again so soon with another complaint?

In this newest case, I would advise studying a little on psychosis or mental health in general to form a more nuanced, less simplistic, and ultimately more creative and fun trol...er, pathology, that is.



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 06:16 AM
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reply to post by 412304
 


No, but you dropped your second line. Here:
Second line.



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 06:18 AM
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reply to post by Partygirl
 


Lol agreed. Good advice! But his brother refuses to budge, and the wedding is next week, and the damage has already been done sadly. I say he should stand his brother up. What say you?



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 06:31 AM
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Im 3rd year into my psychology degree, cant wait to be a brain prostitute.

Althrough at the moment im currently studying child development (module) which is extremlely intresting and I would just like to point out that alot of people assume that Psy students study nothing but Sigmund Freud which is wrong, I have studyied mostly every body but him.



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 06:38 AM
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reply to post by WoundedByHonesty
 


From a woman's perspective he should stand up for his girl and not go, obviously. But beyond that, this might also force a confrontation between bride and groom, and then maybe everyone could have a big shouting match, get it all over with, and then press the "reset" button and forget it ever happened.



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 06:46 AM
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reply to post by Partygirl
 


I hear that whole "reset" button did not work out so well with Russia ^^



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 06:49 AM
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Please help me! One minute im happy, the next I am sitting on a rock on the beach as far away from the rest of the human population as possible crying whilst I fondle myself aggressively.

Also after about 5 or 6 hours of this my vision reverts to purely 2D for a good few hours, are these problems diet related?...



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 06:50 AM
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reply to post by michaelmcclen
 


What's the future of psycholgy going to look like, in your opinion?



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 07:00 AM
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reply to post by Partygirl
 


ok you want a real case.
pm me and maybe I will tell you my story.

not for the general public.

second thoughts already

the mind is a terrible thing to waste


edit on 12-9-2011 by lunchmanstan because: presentation



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 07:03 AM
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reply to post by clintdelicious
 



Have you ever considered the possibility that you might have some deep-seated beach-related issues?

edit on 12-9-2011 by Partygirl because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 07:05 AM
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reply to post by lunchmanstan
 


Well if you change your mind and want to share it with the class, please do so.

We do group therapy here. Everything out in the open, that sort of thing. May not be appropriate for your casel; you decide.

Whatever the case may be, I hope you recover fully from all pain.



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 07:14 AM
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reply to post by Partygirl
 


I can hear the sea anemone's calling me there all the time, they tell me to do awful awful things, I try not to but they are very forcefull with me and usually I must submit to their will...



posted on Sep, 12 2011 @ 07:27 AM
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reply to post by Partygirl
 


At the moment it looks like its more orientated to solving lifes questions rather than answering questions about life if you catch my drift.

Althrough my degree is mostly spent revising and studying expirements its not really about studying peoples minds persay (clinical setting, evaluating problems) if you want that then you have to study clinical psychology which you can do if you get a 2:2 and want to go into that field. It also pays the most, apart from if you get your , MA, PHd and jump over the top of everyone and just become a professor and teach at uni (thats what im hoping to do). I would rather teach children then be paid for my throughts althrough I could do both =).

And for everyone else thats studied or is a psychologist, Smile because you know how the world works =)







 
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