What do you say?

Down a post...Sorry.

What do you say to your son , when you are our type of people, when he comes home and tells you that he is going into the Army?

A part of me is happy he wants to serve his country...
Apart of me wants to tell him I think he is crazy for wanting to fight a fight that isn't for real and all you will be will be a slave for the Man!!!!

We raised him to be a nonconformist...A out of the box thinker...Is this how he is rebelling...
My father is an old Hippie...We believe in Peace! I just don't know how to feel...Can you guys help me?

Not exactly a political madness kind of thread, but I'll give it a shot.

There are advantages and disadvantages to going into the military. I would weigh these out with your son, talk about it, and if he is still set on going, then there's not much you can do. I assume he's 18 or close to it, he's becoming a man, and must make his own decisions.

You aren't going to be able to stop him from doing what he wants, but you can guide him. And maybe you can talk about the disadvantages of military service. Such as the getting shot or blown up part. Otherwise, let him know that you will support his decision, and love him unconditionally no matter what decision he makes.

I hope that helps.

reply to post by zbeliever


Odds are that your son has no idea what it's really like to be in the Armed Forces. What you say is that you make him consider the reality of the situation:

Is he fully aware of the brutal psychological pounding he's about to get?
Is he fully aware that his contract can be extended at-will for an indefinite period?
Is he fully aware that he is highly likely going to be heading to the Middle East as some point if he joins certain branches and possibly have 3-5 tours in as many years?

I told him I would have a very hard time with him in infantry...We are not hunters ,My brother and his wife are vegetarians , due to the killing of a life.(wait to he hears about this)..We are a peaceful group

He will change his mind the moment his convoy is attacked and his friends lay dead on the road from oncoming attacks. Abit extreme to say i know and sorry but if you cant reach him with logic then only the experience of war will make his opinion become clear. Maybe even shooting someone for the first time will make him realize the terror of war and the cruelty of it and that no man should have to fight another mans war.

reply to post by Daygone23


I explain to him that the kid on the other end of that gun is a guy like you...With a mother ,and a girlfriend...Maybe even a that guy has a kid like he does...Do you really want to go out fight and a guy like you.For what reason? To be paid, for the benefits?

My hippie father says, don't worry about it it's just talk right now...If you fight him on this it maybe come more then just talk...We are not people of money...I know he is thinking how he can secure a future for his small little family...For this I am proud.
The way he wants to do it makes me want to cry.

Think of the values you instilled in your son.

Yes, joining the military may be an act of rebellion. Yes, he will be molded by his service and commanders into something other than what you, perhaps, intended. But in chances are, in time, if you are supportive and accepting of his decision, your lessons and values will remain. Reject it, and he will rebel harder.

Or, think of it another way. Who would you trust more to protect you? Someone who shares your values, or someone who stands for the opposite.

My 13 year old son has wanted to join the Army for 3 years now. He's high on the ADHD chart, so seeing him hold on to a thought for this long makes me think he really means it! My wife has a cousin (as close as a brother to her) that has been in the Army for a decade now. We went and visited him in Georgia a month ago and my son was in hog heaven (we got to visit the armory).

"Uncle Rich" told him all about what the Army was all about, what he could expect, how to get in, how to act as a soldier, how to be a responsible soldier, how not to act, and some of the bad situations he's been in (he's never had to shoot anyone, but he's been on the receiving end of a couple of rocket attacks and had to...clean up after them ).

I don't know if my son will feel the same way in 5 years, but if he does I'll support him all the way if he does. All I can do is hope he stays safe, stays smart, stays sane, and doesn't get caught in the trap of ceasing to think of other people as "human", but only as targets.

/TOA

reply to post by The Old American


See if you can get him interested in ROTC. I have a buddy who has had his college, BA and MA, paid for, and be goes to a good school, and when he graduates, he will be an Army Officer. Yes, he owes them a number of years of service, but being an officer pays a heck of a lot better and increases the odds of getting into a position that will keep you off the front lines, if you don't want to be there.

reply to post by madhatr137


Thanks, I'll tell him about that...

reply to post by zbeliever

If you are on friendly terms with your son, I can only suggest sitting down and talking it over with him.

From my experience, what your father says has a lot of weight, even if you can't tell him that to his face.

Go over with him the good points and the not-so-good points as you see them and find out if he has considered these things. Educate him, if you can with some reality, on what sort of organization the US Army actually is. At worse case, he might decide that the Navy or some other service would be a better choice for him. See if he has an accurate idea of what the purpose of the organization really is, and whether that purpose would be something he would be willing to give his life for.

When I was young, I looked at the Army, too. It was presented to me as an easy, secure way to get a technical education and a job. But I knew that ultimately it was in the business of making soldiers, and that I was no soldier, and didn't want to become one.

My dad never talked with me much about any of my life choices. And now that I'm much older, I see that as something he could have worked a little harder at.

Younger people are often willing to make decisions without adequate information. And they usually survive them. Usually. But if you can assist him to get into the habit of going into a new situation with as much data as possible already under his belt, I think that could instill a wise practice that could serve him well throughout his life.

I want to Thank everyone who has posted...It has been helpful..