reply to post by Death_Kron
Speaking as someone who is absolute rubbish at relationships, I might be able to give you some insight into the 'What's wrong?' / 'Nothing"
If something's bugging me, I tend to think about it quite a bit, trying to work out a way to broach the subject. This makes me very quiet which, of
course, gets noticed.
I then get the inevitable question "What's wrong?". Well, it's hard to answer if I'm not ready yet. And sometimes the question can be asked in
such a way that it sounds hostile or as if the other person doesn't really want the answer. I'm a sensitive person to start with, and being tackled
like that when Im worrying over something makes me even more sensitive. So, I answer "Nothing", hoping to brush it off until I feel ready to talk.
Or until the other person is less fed up with me and more likely to listen.
What I wrestle with is the following:
Will I be perceived as petty minded if I complain about something? Can I learn to live with it?
If I complain, will the other person be understanding and change their attitude / behaviour?
If they don't change then I can't make any more excuses for them. I can't think that perhaps they're being inconsiderate because they haven't
realised what they're doing because, after all, I've just told them.
If the bad behaviour persists after I've explained what's upsetting me then I have to tackle it again. Broaching the subject for a second time will
be even harder than saying anything the first time.
If a couple of careful, tactful conversations don't get a result I might have to resort to yelling a bit. That means getting angry first, but I've
got a very long fuse. By the time I start yelling, you can expect World War 3.
I'm very, very articulate when I'm cross enough. I never say anything I can retract later because I always tell the truth. If someone stays with me
after I've let them have both barrels I have to wonder if they have an ulterior motive for being with me in the first place.
While I'm thinking all this through I can't imagine the relationship will survive a confrontation, so saying "Nothing" in answer to the question
just seems the easiest way to deal with it.
Left to my own devices, I can usually decide it's not important or find a quiet moment to bring it up. Sometimes I'll see the funny side and find
that a "Oi you - watch it" (or something of the sort) will do the trick.
It's sad that your girlfriend couldn't find the quiet moment to talk, perhaps she felt that you were so stressed with other problems that she
couldn't see how you could find the time or energy to work on the relationship. I don't know the nature of the problems, but she may have felt it
was beyond her to help you?
I hope life starts to improve for you. I don't know if anyone else guilty of saying "Nothing" would offer you the same explanation that I did, but
that's how my feverish little mind works