reply to post by Greensage
Thank you for that feedback!!!
To address your comments about my personality... YES lol
Ever since I was small I have been defiant beyond words when I believe I am *right*. I will also be the first person to acknowledge I am wrong IF you
can PROVE it
In my working career I have been many things as it seems I can not decide what I want to be when I grow up, but no matter the position or the field of
work...no matter where I start; in very short order I become A boss, and not long after that I usually become THE boss. This is also when the job
loses luster for me. I enjoy the challenge, the creativity involved with developing, improving and evolving a thing to be better, more efficient and
simpler. Once I rise as far as I can I feel like nothing more than a glorified gopher and pretty quickly go find something more interesting and
rewarding to do.
Most of my jobs have involved authority and leading, over the years the number of people I am directing has grown considerably. I just recently quit
a very secure job, even though the economy isn't a choice time to be doing so where I was the landlord over about 50 families (not individuals).
What happens is I get to the top, I'm not having fun anymore and I am usually burnt out due to all the energy and dedication I have put into rising
to the top. When I get burnt out I leave those type A positions and go off to a type B job where I can relax and just help or serve people, something
mellow and rewarding...but...eventually I get backed up financially and go find another type A job. My new job is helping the mentally
disabled/challenged. Last time I walked away from a management job I helped open my town's first yoga studio teaching yoga and after that was off
the ground I was again dissatisfied so went to work in an adult daycare for a few yrs.
Anyone that knows me would tell you I am bossy. In the words of a dear friend I am harsh but just, and bossy lol.
But out of all the thoughts going through my mind about your comments what stands out the most is how for the past few years I have been feeling like
I don't belong in my local area anymore. I have wanted to leave and even put plans to leave into action but....leaving family, especially
grandchildren has held me back. In that past couple of months, in part due to current events and the politics of the day; I am feeling VERY strongly
about it with a renewed urgency.
In examining my thoughts and conflicts of *should I stay or should I go?* I have come to a few conclusions.
1. I want to make a difference in what is happening in my country and the world more than anything.
2. I need to go to where the action is in order to accomplish this. (I live in a remote out of the way area)
3. I don't want to be the sort of grandparent that is remembered for rare visits and holiday cards with money.
4. The grandchildren are THE biggest reason I feel so responsible to try to make the world around me better.
5. Fear of reprisals against my family for any unpopular actions on my part has paralyzed me in fear.
6. The best way to protect my family is to be FAR away from them so my actions are less likely to affect them.
7. It is very easy to be a ring leader as long as you don't mind the consequences.
8. I would accept pretty much any consequence with joy IF I knew I CAN make a difference to ensure my grandchildren have a future.
9. Perhaps my children need to see me stand against the world to give them a reason to fight for their children now, as opposed to later when they
are older and wiser.
10. If Sarah Palin can do it so can I, she didn't impress me much when we were kids. (Yes I grew up in the same area)
I am not sure what you will make of that but it's my 2 cents about leadership and/or power.