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Modern sexism and the modern man

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posted on Sep, 8 2011 @ 04:49 AM
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reply to post by nickendres
 


Yes, my son definately made a huge mistake in judgement. (though they never married, the whole thing started and was over in a two month period, the wedding was called off). But that is what made me question the double standards- we encourage young women, or at least send the message it is acceptable, to be attracted to older men. They also, are lacking in experience and may have faulty judgement and that fact can be exploited by older more experienced men.

It seems people are quicker to blame the older man if he uses a young woman for sex, then rejects her and leaves her with a baby.
But if an older woman uses a younger man for reproduction, then rejects him, they are quicker to blame him.

It as if men are always expected to show better judgement and be more responsible then women?




posted on Sep, 8 2011 @ 05:02 AM
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I'm not a big poster but i felt i had something to add, so here i am.

Growing up i was pretty passive/submissive child, due to an aggressive dad. He was physically daunting and still is even though we came to blows a few times after i was 18. Sorry the point i was getting at was that because of him i submitted to aggression and intimidation, but I learnt how to use my mind effectively and would regularly impress my dad mates because I could hold an intelligent conversation with them when I was 10.This seemed to mean wasn't very attractive to the girls until i hit about 13, i decided enough was enough. I slowly fought back winning small battles not fights (well there was 1 or 2) more me exerting dominance through other methods. I found after a year or so I was much more respected by other lads and I suddenly found the lasses were interested as well and that was the start of some great years.

Eventually I became big headed, arrogant and selfish. Nobody picked me up on it I eventually realised myself and came tumbling down again to the extent I almost reverted back to my timid version. This has happened a few times throughout my life, due to being my hardest critic and it is only when I am balanced but confidant and assertive that I get the attention of women that I like. Whilst unbalanced I can still find the odd lass but they are always too fake or too emotionally unstable.

The point I’m getting at, is that I have also noticed this issue and it drives me mad but I found that through being me and being strong for myself, stick to my own morals and not infringe on others, I can easily pave a way for my own life and that almost always attracts someone good to me. In fact if I actively hunt for a woman to be mine it tends to send me off balance and make me less attractive. I think the only way to find a balanced/good woman is too be a balanced man and vice versa and getting into relationships when you aint can be a recipe for disaster.

In fact thanks for this thread, I’ve been feeling down about myself lately but this has helped remind myself how well things pan out with a little bit of confidence to follow your own guidance. Sorry for waffling, I was basically just thinking out loud and spewing it into a post



posted on Sep, 8 2011 @ 05:11 AM
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reply to post by Bluesma
 


Thank you for taking the time to make this important thread. It's great to know there are women out there aware of these issues, who are understanding towards the difficulties faced by modern man.



posted on Sep, 8 2011 @ 05:29 AM
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reply to post by LanceonW
 


Your story is touching. I think it is not uncommon, these struggles. Balance is hard for all of us, it is "the eye of the needle". Perhaps we never really reach a point of perfect balance and stay there, either- that balancing act may just be LIFE!

What I'd like to think is that in each of our efforts to do this, our relationships can be a source of support in that though? Like if you had a partner that can be supportive of you in however you feel best, but also let you know when you start to get to an extreme?

Respect for self, and self assertion, (sometimes called being "selfish"
) is essential for balance!
It just needs to be balanced with respect for others and receptivity to others, (which can also go too far into martyrism and selflessness).

As partners we can help each other be aware of slips into extremes. Though ultimately, it is for each of us an individual trek. But it is nicer to walk it with another!



posted on Sep, 8 2011 @ 05:51 AM
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reply to post by Bluesma
 


Thx, I would much prefer to share my life with someone however i aint found anyone worthy. i still suffer from a big head
I've had to re-learn being selfish all over again but i'm getting the hang of it and still remember to consider others.

I think the biggest problem men and women, is that they aren't learning from their mistakes. If people took time out to analyse why their relationships have fallen apart, at the heart of it, not some daft argument that resulted in the spilt but the underlying issues then they would be wiser in the next relationship would realise they have conflicting ideals of the opposite sex and hopefully realise what they actually want and not what society tells them they want.

also i re-read my post and i'd just like to point out my dad didn't beat me he just knew how to intimidate people, even most of his fellow soldiers were wary of him



posted on Sep, 8 2011 @ 05:57 AM
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reply to post by LanceonW
 


Yeah, I think introspection and self analysis is not easy- and is harder for some than for others!

As someone who does it a lot (my parents were shrinks....
) I still have come to the conclusion that the awareness of the problem isn't even enough sometimes?

I end up creating exercises or activities to re-program my behaviors, and that is not easy to do either.



posted on Sep, 8 2011 @ 06:32 AM
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reply to post by Bluesma
 


I agree, awareness of the problem isn't enough to solve it. When people people are looking back and self analysing they can't move forward. Its another thing to balance, once we become aware of the problem i believe we then have our own personal solution and move forward with it until it fails and then we start the process all over again but too many people dont they just keep piledriving forward and wonder why the same thing keeps happening to them and blaming everyone else.

I seem to have the other problem, i spend too much time thinking about things and forget to move forward with what i've learnt or fall back into my old habits causing me to encounter the same problems, whether in relationships or life in general.

I suppose another problem is how hard it is to truly change for the better, its so easy to slip into bad habits especially in the way you interact with others.



posted on Sep, 8 2011 @ 11:19 AM
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Balance.

Whether we're talking about the classic cold hearted, emotionally distant, tough man... or the modern sissified metro guy... extremes on either pole is not good. Being a good man or woman is about balance. Water can give comfort and nourishment, or it can crash and destroy. "Be water my friend."



posted on Sep, 8 2011 @ 11:37 AM
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The fact is that people should "keep their hands to themselves". It is something that grown humans tell to children often. Well, it does not apply just to children. It applies to everyone. Simple as that. I don't think society's double standard will break ever. If you attack me then I will defend myself. If you don't like it then maybe you should consider the repercussion of when you place your hands upon on another person. It is simple animal instinct. Attack my well being and I will defend myself.
edit on 8-9-2011 by fordrew because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 8 2011 @ 05:17 PM
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Its more than sexism. And past feminism.

Its our rulers destroying gender roles because a bunch of genital les men are much easier to make into the slave society we have. The average woman age 18-30 spoiled little unskilled harlots. The average man a spoiled egotistical metro sexual stupid puppet.

They focus on fashion sports and pop culture. Don't know real history or anything of any consequence and are convinced they are entitled to million dollar mansions and a Ferrari.

Looking at what the young have become and are becoming makes me want to crawl into a cave to get away from these morons. This coming from someone with 6 God children and none of his own.

Good women? Yes married and/or in a relationship and/or lesbian or bisexual, at least in my experience.

There's too many deal-breakers at least in their Disney fantasy land. Me, single man looking for a partner one that will help make us both better, sadly those are the women I refer too above.



posted on Sep, 9 2011 @ 05:45 AM
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Originally posted by Bluesma

In a more general way, it feels like it mirrors what feels disharmonic in some New Age people who get into the "positive" thing as being enlightened, and condemnation of the "negative"-.....



imho, the whole non-violent, 'positive' 'law-of-attraction' drill is a delusion foisted upon the people to allow the ruling class to do their wicked deeds without so much fear of direct retailiation. the consequences for sexual relationships are probably only a side effect.


(as a man) i figured out quite quickly that in order to even get into any relationship, i'd need to spend a lot of time and money just to fulfill the basic stereotypical requirements, which i wouldn't waste for that purpose even if i had it, because of the catch-22 - either live out habitual violence like everybody else, which i'd hate every minute, or just turn my back on the whole issue. the latter is generally preferable i think. sure, there might now (strictly statistically) be a woman who can't find a partner... considering the 'compassion' females tend to show regarding this issue when it affects men i can't help but smirk, though.

what do you think will happen if some fascist *** with appropriate standing (even if only a street cop) has their way (ie. rapes her) with such a woman who's used to treating men like cordless power tools? first, they'll be shocked and then they'll be emotionally overwhelmed and the most tragic part is that this feeling can be misconstrued... much like some people become junkies for fear of heights (bungee, climbing, parachuting - edit: to clarify, these are feeling designed to drive you away, not attract, yet people can consciously reverse them it seems)... people can embrace institutional and physical violence and regard it as 'exciting', sometimes referred to as masochism, which would explain a little, wouldn't it? it's also a coping mechanism, i'd wager.

in the end it's the men's fault for either being (or trying to become) sexual predators or turning a blind eye towards the true nature of sex in this society (violence) and playing >the game< just to conform. sure, women had better know their interests but it's probably difficult for girls to understand that, when they're growing up in a bubble of repeated and soothing lies that the danger is more likely lurking behind authority rather than the dark alley around the corner.[
edit on 2011.9.9 by Long Lance because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 9 2011 @ 10:44 AM
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reply to post by Long Lance
 


You make a good point. We are always terribly attracted to that which incites fear in us. I was afraid of riding a horse once and became obsessed with horses.... my husband had a fear of flying and now is obsessed with aircraft and flying !

Could be a coping mechanism..... I am constantly reminded of the theories that fears create a well of stored up energy in us that only gets released when we face and experience the object of our fear. Surges of energy being a source of extreme pleasure and delight.....

I hadn’t considered some of the issues you brought up. It is thought provoking.



posted on Sep, 9 2011 @ 11:22 AM
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I think the divorce rates are pretty indicative of this schism of desire. But it works both ways.

I know what I want. I want a girl whos sexy and feminine but also outgoing, creative and courageous. Women seem to be guided toward acting dumb and shy because they think men want the kitchen wife. Or something. Who knows what women want? By the OP even women themselves dont know what they want.



posted on Sep, 9 2011 @ 11:28 AM
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Fantastic thread OP and very refreshing to hear these days, im male and like other ATS members have posted simply prefer being single, sometimes i think differently but quickly realize why i made the choice. I honestly don't know what is happening to women and men in general, the change and general attitude from women in my experience is much worse though, i think the link between how men have changed has increased greatly the rate many women have, to the point of some being unrecognizable...teetering on the edge of being full blown sociopaths really. In the end im quite happy to stroll through life single and simply observe the madness from a distance.
Of course there are always good ones out there and no one likes painting with a broad brush, if i bump in to them on my travels through life i will be grateful but im certainly not going to waste my time looking for the possibly unattainable.

edit on 9-9-2011 by Solomons because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 9 2011 @ 11:32 AM
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Originally posted by D4Saken
Woman..

It sounds like most woman are mistaking men for a well trained pet.

If you want your man to act like a man, treat him like a man, not a pet.



They dont know how anymore, so many of them. This art or skill has been replaced by the nurturing of the female Id which has been tought that it is natural to resist as a matter of its own survival.



posted on Sep, 9 2011 @ 12:04 PM
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Originally posted by D4Saken
Woman..

It sounds like most woman are mistaking men for a well trained pet.

If you want your man to act like a man, treat him like a man, not a pet.



Well, there was a time, (in the fifties, for example) where women were treated as pets by men. That is why I wonder if it isn't just a reversal of that same thing.

A lot of the women I know don't really treat their husbands like pets though- they recognize and emphasize the complexity and emotional nature of men, as mothers do with their children. They do care. It just seems like when moments arise that they'd like to have a MATE instead of a son at their side, then they feel the lack and are unhappy.

In my mind, there is no real wrong or right, individuals are free to live as they desire. IF they can figure out what that is.

I know I love watching Rugby, because all those big, sweaty, dirty, strong men crashing against each other is such a turn on!

Most women can appreciate that- was there any that didn't swoon over Russell Crowe in Gladiator?? So why do they keep their men repressing their violent and combative urges? I am guessing it is because they get afraid it would be used against us, that he would lose control over it.

But repression is the quickest road to losing control of something.



posted on Sep, 9 2011 @ 12:24 PM
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Originally posted by Bluesma

Originally posted by D4Saken
Woman..

It sounds like most woman are mistaking men for a well trained pet.

If you want your man to act like a man, treat him like a man, not a pet.



Well, there was a time, (in the fifties, for example) where women were treated as pets by men. That is why I wonder if it isn't just a reversal of that same thing.

A lot of the women I know don't really treat their husbands like pets though- they recognize and emphasize the complexity and emotional nature of men, as mothers do with their children. They do care. It just seems like when moments arise that they'd like to have a MATE instead of a son at their side, then they feel the lack and are unhappy.

In my mind, there is no real wrong or right, individuals are free to live as they desire. IF they can figure out what that is.

I know I love watching Rugby, because all those big, sweaty, dirty, strong men crashing against each other is such a turn on!

Most women can appreciate that- was there any that didn't swoon over Russell Crowe in Gladiator?? So why do they keep their men repressing their violent and combative urges? I am guessing it is because they get afraid it would be used against us, that he would lose control over it.

But repression is the quickest road to losing control of something.


But thats the thing. Control. It seems like women who want to be "strong" women have to act like a controlling male in order to make them feel "equal" to men (who are supposed to be the strong ones). But these same strong, alpha female women, who are so proud to say they dont need a man, constantly act like the men they profess to reject. They become what they hate because they imitate what they hate.

So its not the repression in the strong partner that causes the loss of control. Its repression in the weak partner that gets overcome when they cant stand being controlled anymore. The weak partner overcomes the repression of their OWN feelings, the feelings they put in the back seat to the controlling partners feelings. So, maybe the problem isnt with male-female stereotypes because those are breaking down. What we're talking about isnt the difference in gender or even social perceptions of that gender. What we have is a struggle between the controlled and the controller. It can be man-woman, woman-man, man-man, woman-woman, whatever really. No relationship works when one is controlled and the other is controller (yes even grand social relationshps like the ruler and the ruled, politician and citizen, etc)

So we're really not talking about men and women, we're talking about how men and women act in relationships. Some act more controlling and we attribute the word "manly" to controlling, dominant people. When people are meek and giving we call it "womanly". Its not about gender, its about gender roles and mainly how control fits into the relationship.
edit on 9-9-2011 by doctornamtab because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 9 2011 @ 01:17 PM
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The simple truth is that in the current western world the male is largely redundant past the point of impregnation (and we're optional for that).

If there are no credible physical threats and women can earn as much on their own, or be topped up by the state, the man isn't really worth the hassle of having around. Especially less than socially ideal specimens.

The drives and desires of humans are the same as always. The difference is unrealistic expectations (generated by the media conditioning) and by a lack of necessity for compromise (afforded by our affluence).

Its good politics currently to give 'deadbeat dads' a good thrashing, and deservedly so. However, to be balanced society should heap equal scorn on women who kick reasonable dads for not being (dangerous, spontaneous, reliable, sensitive, courageous and safe all at the same time). Many absent fathers would rather have not found themselves absent.

Of the friends in my age group the only happy ones are the ones that continue to play the field without regret. The ones who settled down are all divorced, bitter and financially broken.

I dont see it changing unless we either become massively impoverished or selling idealised relationships ceases to be profitable. I don't advise holding your breath.
edit on 9-9-2011 by justwokeup because: typo



posted on Sep, 9 2011 @ 01:20 PM
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Originally posted by justwokeup
The simple truth is that in the current western world the male is largely redundant past the point of impregnation (and we're optional for that).

If there are no credible physical threats and women can earn as much on their own, or be topped up by the state, the man isn't really worth the hassle of having around. Especially less than socially ideal specimens.

The drives and desires of humans are the same as always. The difference is unrealistic expectations (generated by the media conditioning) and by a lack of necessity for compromise (afforded by our affluence).

Of the friends in my age group the only happy ones are the ones that continue to play the field without regret. The ones who settled down are all divorced, bitter and financially broken.

I dont see it changing unless we either become massively impoverished or selling idealised relationships ceases to be profitable. I don't advise holding your breathe.


Yeah all my married friends say, "Dont get married!" "Go bang 23 year olds." "Do it for me! Cant you see I'm living vicariously through you!!!!" Not exactly the happiest of situations. We live too long for marriage. It was invented when people lived to be 35 years old. Not 75 years old. This, I think is the simplest and most logical of explanations for the divorce rate.

Good points on the affluence causing compromise. Also, we live in massive cities now. Not the small villages and towns where marriage was invented. This may cause people to float from one person to another
edit on 9-9-2011 by doctornamtab because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 9 2011 @ 01:24 PM
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This one is Easy.

The Feminisation of society is actually an attack on Behaviour of the people of society.

You see, a Society is basically just the people, and how they act towards each-other in general.

So, to attack the society, all you have to do is destabilize the behaviour that Created the society.

And this is what the Feminist movement IS... beginning with good intentions, as many roads to hell are paved with.... mainly because most people won't agree to actually travelling down the road to hell, but they LOVE good intentions.

The Entire purpose of this plot, is to remove LOYALTY to anything but the State, by eroding those loyalties.

They do this by Classical Conditioning, using the "Social Dynamic" of following the herd to apply the correct amount of leverage against the default social behaviour.

You know.... The Media?

"This is how good boys and girls act!"

Ya, they use the media to subtly influence behaviour over the course of a few generations, and eventually you no longer have stable families, passing down their "Society" (I.E. The behavior) to their children, and since the children are taught largely by the state, you get blank slates and can turn them against their parents, and their parents Social Behaviour Structure.

You see, Feminism was the Start..... and as any good NWO plan, they had the Hegelian Dielectic to use against the men.

Problem: Women are becoming quite evil because of feminism

Reaction: Get angry at women

Solution: Pursue "Game" to take from women what you want.


And this of course leads right into the plans of the NWO.

Because treating women like that makes them cling to feminism even more.


It's state sponsored classical social conditioning on an absurd scale.



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