The art of trolling. How to...(the 7 steps to ATS hell)

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posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 02:20 AM
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So you are a new member. You may want to know how to get points and responses here on ATS quickly. Here are some tips. This is the art of trolling ATS.

1~You are new, go to the new members forums and make an introduction. You will most likely be forgiven for outbursts, given a few flags, but you will not receive stars here my troll.

2~Head over to RECENT POSTS. Do not worry about top rated threads, your responses will be buried in crap and forgotten.

3~Look for recent posts in ATS, they are more responded to. BTS can be fun, but less users respond there. This is very important for a fast turn around my trolls.

4~Look for a recent post with very little to no replies (less than 10 as a rule of thumb). This will almost guarantee stars and responses, especially if the OP is online. It helps to either agree and add to the conversation or just simply be an ass. This is trolling after all, and being an ass is usually easier. The devil route will get you responses and stars faster sadly.

5~Check your messages for replies. Watch for replies, and keep up the good work!

6~If no one is taking the bait/replying, cast a wider net and diversify. Watch for users that are also angry and/or trolling. when you find one, reply with the exact opposite view of what they posted. You will get stars and responses.

7~Start your own thread after you have learned the rules of the trade. If a thread dies, start more. Almost every thread made gets a flag and star. If you get responses you are set. Remember, watch for replies. Reply to every single post in your threads no matter what! It is your thread after all.


PS~This is a satire. God I hate trolls.
edit on 6-9-2011 by adraves because: (no reason given)




posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 02:28 AM
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oh my gosh you are right! lol


let me practice a bit, ya know, for demonstration purposes.

I disagree. You should not listen to the op. don't troll to get stars. bad form!
you'll tick people off, earn yourself mod warnings and maybe even get booted if the trolling is bad enough. you must limit your responses to how you actually feel about a subject, otherwise risk having others emulate your fake communications. (and for the big, "i'm better than you!!" finale). there's enough falsehood on the planet already. don't add to the problem! wake the freak up, be good to each other. party on excellent, etc.





posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 02:34 AM
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Maybe this is an attempt to get stars and flags.. Whilst trolling under the disguise of someone that is outing trolls?


You forgot to mention.. A sure fire way of getting flags is to thing of the most ridiculous end of the world scenario and make a thread about it... But here is the kicker.. Put nibiru/elenin/brown dwarf in the title... Guaranteed to hit double figure flags..



posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 02:39 AM
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Originally posted by Misterlondon
Maybe this is an attempt to get stars and flags.. Whilst trolling under the disguise of someone that is outing trolls?


You forgot to mention.. A sure fire way of getting flags is to thing of the most ridiculous end of the world scenario and make a thread about it... But here is the kicker.. Put nibiru/elenin/brown dwarf in the title... Guaranteed to hit double figure flags..



i have so many ats points, and nowhere to spend them.
i'm a flagonnaire.



posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 02:44 AM
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posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 02:48 AM
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The OP is an idiot and a troll. He's going to ATS-hell because of this thread. Yes, despite what people tell you, ATS-hell is a real place. It's a terrible place right below christian hell, but above Muslim hell. So basically, ATS-hell is a terrible, terrible place reserved for people who make threads like the OPs.
The OP couldn't tell a troll from a goblin, even if they had name tags.




How's that for trolling?




posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 03:02 AM
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Originally posted by Misterlondon
Maybe this is an attempt to get stars and flags.. Whilst trolling under the disguise of someone that is outing trolls?


You forgot to mention.. A sure fire way of getting flags is to thing of the most ridiculous end of the world scenario and make a thread about it... But here is the kicker.. Put nibiru/elenin/brown dwarf in the title... Guaranteed to hit double figure flags..


Ron Paul is a very safe bet, too.






posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 03:10 AM
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And every time the thread gets closed or deleted, due to constant troll magnificence:

Start a new thread on exactly the same topic, but this time title it "Recent Thread 404'd...We were too close to the throoooth!!"



posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 03:27 AM
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Originally posted by LanternOfDiogenes
I named my imaginary fb team FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!



posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 03:54 AM
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Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!Give me stars and flags!!!

Does that count?



posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 04:44 AM
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reply to post by demoncleaner
 


Who really cares about stars and flags, what are you going to do, sell them for gold
I have seen a lot of posters with thousands of stars and flags that are idiots, however all they do is similar to the op and just churn out hundreds of threads a month with little quality.



posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 05:12 AM
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reply to post by On the level
 


I do because my confidence and selfworth is totally dependant on the amount of stars and flag I have!!!!! I just want to be as cool as all the other kids with thousands of stars and flags



Ok that was sarcasm but in reality dont you get fewer adds the more points you have?



posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 08:41 AM
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reply to post by adraves
 


Do you even understand what a TROLL is?



posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 10:57 AM
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you have no understanding of the art whatsoever. what you stated is the definition of a normal poster.

a good troll NEVER admit to trolling, EVER.



posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 12:33 PM
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i say the people who are data mining us for their statistics, screenplays, novels and music, should be required to allow us to spend our ATS points on their products that were created from our labors



posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 02:50 PM
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edit on 9/6/11 by FortAnthem because: My last troll wouldn't fit.




posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 03:33 PM
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WUTS A TROLL?



posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 11:42 PM
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Originally posted by DOADOA
you have no understanding of the art whatsoever. what you stated is the definition of a normal poster.


Yeah, now that I think on it it does sound like a normal user who post. Nice observation



Originally posted by DOADOA
a good troll NEVER admit to trolling, EVER.


I never said I was a troll. *nixon impression* "I am not a crook."



posted on Sep, 6 2011 @ 11:46 PM
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Originally posted by Ghost375
The OP is an idiot and a troll. He's going to ATS-hell because of this thread. Yes, despite what people tell you, ATS-hell is a real place. It's a terrible place right below christian hell, but above Muslim hell. So basically, ATS-hell is a terrible, terrible place reserved for people who make threads like the OPs.
The OP couldn't tell a troll from a goblin, even if they had name tags.




How's that for trolling?



Oh you learned those steps very fast young padawan. Star for you.

ATS hell is scary. I've been there once or twice myself.


Edit~Don't forget a trolls ultimate tool-statistics!
www.abovetopsecret.com...
edit on 7-9-2011 by adraves because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 9 2011 @ 05:56 PM
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as a professional troll but that excludes this current site as it does have intelligence and diversity that i choose and do enjoy and in some form or manner has provided me with information way before it hits the I.T. rss feeds, i therefore close the weird reply with ..... see vid.....


boh92DrYEWs
edit on 9-9-2011 by cerebralassassins because: (no reason given)





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