I lost me...., page 1

You are not the only one. I feel similar to what you describe. I don't know where to go, or what to do. Nothing clears my mind. It's constantly running. I can't focus and sometimes I'll be looking at a person dead in the eye while they are talking to me but the conversation (so to speak) going within myself seems to always keep my attention more. I used to be somewhat happy, that is until I found out what is really going on in this world, granted I'm glad I know what I know and glad that I was awoken, but knowing truth and searching for wisdom will lead you to a place where EVERYTHING under the sun is a striving after the wind just like Soloman said. I have cut everyone out of my life pretty much with the exception of a few close friends that I know I can trust. Even still I don't particularly care to be around them as the thought of having to see something horrible happen to them with my own eyes when SHTF is almost unbearable to even think about.

My parents are not wise and part of the Sheeple so talking to them about anything regarding wisdom and insight is futile. Mom is a Jehovah's Witness that relies on what the society says and doesn't research for herself as to anything they say and if it's legit or not. Nor does she know anything about TPTB poisoning us with GMO and Flouride. She would rather just put her life into the hands of the society and not search for truth. Dad is a drunk that thinks the answers lie in what's socially accepted and not what the truth is. He would rather get people to laugh at his jokes then talk about meaningful issues and teach people. My peers for the most part think I'm crazy, and I feel the same about them for not researching and digging for answers. Most of them love the bar/party scene still.

Part of me wants to just stop talking. Not because I can't talk, but rather because it is useless for the most part to communicate with anyone as it isn't gonna make one bit of difference in the end. I used to be a man of hopes and dreams, but now the only hope I have is to be part of paradise earth after god comes back and fixes it. Nothing else matters anymore. I don't work, or do anything productive other than search for truth and light in this dark world. I can't stand being alive during this point in history as I feel I'm surrounded by zombies and I feel like Noah in the sense that I warn them but it might as well be a language no one understands. If it isn't about sex, drinking, football, music, and other "trendy" topics, NO ONE wants to talk about it. so I don't see the point any longer in communicating with people because in doing so, it causes me to stoop to their level of understanding and I feel like it dumbs me down. I AM NOT BETTER than anyone nor is that the message I'm trying to relay here. I'm just so very tired of this disgusting abomination of a so called life we are all forced to live in order to survive by TPTB who we all know are operated by satan and other demons. I could keep going for hours on this post but yeah, I feel like that I found so much of what I have been searching for my entire life that I'm now lost. Lost in the sense that once you realize everything for what it's worth, what goal could you possibly set for yourself? How can you want for anything anymore? The only thing I want at all anymore is MORE wisdom as it seems to be the only satisfying thing I can find. That and love.