Originally posted by Unvarnished
Ahhh, anyone out there can give me advice on how to forget my ex girlfriend? I'm in my 20s and seeking advice from the older generation, I need like
a mentor figure on how to move on.
I am not a professional by any means. But have been there. And a break up of a relationship is a lot like the death of a loved one. There are stages
you will go through. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and then finally Acceptance.
There is no forgetting. There is only coping. Love is a habit much like a drug. You woke up every morning and made them breakfast, called to check in
with them, road to work together, watched certain shows together, went certain places together, you can smell them from time to time, you hugged them
here kissed them there, know the same people, liked the same things. Your ex right now is everywhere. Good luck in forgetting them. No matter what you
do, that person is now a part of you. And anyone that you have ever loved is a part of you. Have you forgotten them.
Now your addicted to the memories of love you shared with your ex and you just can't get your fix. Frustrating!!! You spent extremely important
times, in important places. No matter where you turn there are memories of your ex. It saddens you to no end. This is natural. You will go through the
stages of grieving as if your ex had died. Your Goal is not forgetting but accepting.
Accepting that you have an addiction to your ex life is the key here. Your life with your ex is now gone. But the memories remain (this being the
addiction). And those memories always will remain. Even in a new relationship the memories will haunt you like alcohol does an alcoholic. Before you
can accept what your going through you have to go through the stages of grieving. It's a human process, built in to all of us.
Remember your goal is accepting that you have a new life, a new outlook and a brand new adventure ahead of you!! Not just sadness. Once you embrace
that it's over and accept that your ex will always be apart of you. You will be able to move on in your life a little more easily.
Without all of the psycho babble. Don't call them, don't contact them, act as if they do not exist. It's a tough road my friend. I've been there
and it took a long time for me to get over my ex. Now I'm married and have five kids. I think about her from time to time. Usually when something
reminds me of her. And when it does I wonder for a few minutes hope she's doing well. I'm thankful for the times I had with her, but I am happy I
have the life I have now.
One big piece of advise. Find yourself again. People tend to lose who they are in a relationship because we all tend to wrap ourselves inside someone
else's life. You are young there are plenty of fish in the sea. But if you don't have you. And you still embrace the old you (life with the ex). Who
do you think you will be when you embark on your next relationship. You will be the you from your last relationship. Find yourself again before moving
Love is addicting. Love is a drug. and is also wonderful.
Hope that helps.