I really believe that I am what is referred to as "Two Spirit", as I have both male and female within me.
Here are some little facts about me that may or may not be related to the discussion.
My parents attended a "Lesbian Wedding" in 1963 in Boston, MA, while she was pregnant with me. I often joked to her that she should not have drank
Yes, this was pre-Stonewall, but since Boston has always been a bit more expressive I can see how someone actually did this way
back then; the wedding was her best friend's wedding.
My mom had two boys before she had me, both are "supposedly" straight and have wives and children and seem fairly happy from a very remote distance
(I am not in contact with them); no divorces and such! When she became pregnant with me she swore up and down that she was going to have a girl.
She said it felt different than the two previous boys and that she even "carried" me differently. Until my arrival she was convinced that I was a
As a child I was not a boy, I did not like boy things and I was very emotional to say the least; emotional and sensitive is putting it mildly. I
played with dolls and as a result my environment was not pretty at all; between my two brothers and my father I was put through the worst imaginable
life, something that has not changed at all and I am nearing 50 now!
So, to say I was a Gay child pre-pubescent was easily recognized and most of my experiences regarding this were of a negative element. As I finally
entered puberty I knew without a doubt that I was not normal and that my attraction was more than an attraction, it was chemical. My make-up was one
that I could not even fathom being with a girl, at all, they did not smell right, they did not put off the same kind of energy that men did.
I became a delinquent as a pre-teen and I was in such a volatile, perhaps even violent relationship with my father that my mother intervened and I was
removed from the home. I was 14. I was placed in an environment with no children and a caregiver that is a Pedophile (female). I was sexually
abused from that point on until it too became so explosive that I was out on the street just prior to graduating from high school (I did manage to
graduate and at 17 I was 400 miles from home the moment I was released). I literally ran!
My first real sexual encounter with a man (a older man) was at 17 and it was horrible. This person would visit me in my dormitory and then later
would not even acknowledge that they knew me when I would see him during the day. This relationship continued for nearly a year until finally I met a
woman who gave me the slightest attention and I made my break; I justified it that I could never know until I tried so I dated her. It was not a
compatible situation but we tried for nearly a year and even moved in with one another; she had a daughter and was estranged from her husband. I was
19 and she was 25.
When it ended I stopped any and all relationships for the next four to five years. I did finally "come out" when I was around 23-24 and then I
joined the Military. It took all of two years before I finally opened that door and met the man that I am with today; we have been together for 24
years now, next year is our "Silver"! How about that?
At any rate, during those years as an open Gay male I realized that I did choose to be Gay; I chose to be happy, I chose to be me! I was born Gay,
there is no question about it, but I had to make the choice because anyone can have sex with anyone if they desire it, but it takes a true desire of
what is important and that means "choice".
Sorry for going off on a tangent. Here are some other facts I discovered; when I was around 30 I had a CAT-scan which revealed that I have two
spleens. I have what is called an accessory organ, because one of those spleens is completely inactive. It is a blessing in that if I should ever
lose my spleen to cancer my other spleen can become active if the first one is remove (was told this by a medical doctor); he said to me that although
it is not fully developed that it would grow to be a fully functional organ if I should ever lose my spleen. Fascinating because he told me that
chances are I was a twin and that sometime during gestation my twin failed and during the rest of development my body absorbed my twin. When I found
out it was like a light went on; could it be that my twin was a female? It certainly seemed plausible. I don't know if genetically I show any signs
of "chimera", but it certainly wouldn't surprise me.
So this explains why I developed female breasts at puberty! This explains why I had such a difficult time growing body hair, this is why I was so
fragile as a child, and it was so difficult for me to develop muscle mass as I aged.
Of course I have overcome all of that and now I am nothing but male on an outward level. Inside I am still as effeminate as they come! I am "Two