Japan ATS members: What are your psychological effects after the quake?

Some of you know I was in the Japan quake, as I happened to be there at the time. But actually I haven't posted much in the Japan forums. In fact I am afraid to. When I see the "Japan" button on ATS I get this kind of sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and I start to get very nervous.

Today was the first time I clicked it in months.

So this is a strange lingering psychological effect. That I can't deal with Japan-based news, it makes me feel sick and a little frightened. This is stupid because I should "deny ignorance." Yet there it is.

I am writing to ask other ATS members who experienced the quake how it has effected them psychologically, if at all.

I would like to add some additional notes.

1) Immediately after the quake I got all "giddy," like exuberant and happy, but not really "happy." A kind of hysteria? This was very strange, very surprisng to me. That I should feel this way. I wanted to go out and do crazy things, fling myself into the arms of a stranger, do stuff that was totally out of character. What is that all about? For people who don't understand it must have seemed borderline offensive...I was unable to properly focus on the tragedy of the victims and the nation because I was too wrapped up in my own experience. I know my attitude disturbed a few close friends.

2) I got that "jishin-yoi" (eathquake drunkenness) for a while, where it seemed like everything was shaking. It's gone now.

3) I get bad dreams about it. A lot. Still.

Originally posted by Partygirl

1) Immediately after the quake I got all "giddy," like exuberant and happy, but not really "happy." A kind of hysteria? This was very strange, very surprisng to me. That I should feel this way. I wanted to go out and do crazy things, fling myself into the arms of a stranger, do stuff that was totally out of character. What is that all about? For people who don't understand it must have seemed borderline offensive...I was unable to properly focus on the tragedy of the victims and the nation because I was too wrapped up in my own experience. I know my attitude disturbed a few close friends.

I wouldn't expect much understanding or sympathy of that here. But I know exactly what you are talking about, however. Strange, isn't it?

As for me personally, i can report nothing other than the usual severe insomnia. Doubtless the quake added it's own ladle-full to that particular load, my own personal reward for a life lived with clean conscience and pure heart, ha-ha. But I can't point to anything particular that the quake did to me. Other than to convince me to share less of my personal life on ATS.

Good luck and try not to dwell on it...

reply to post by silent thunder


It is strange and I don't understand. It makes me feel I have less control over who I am and how I react to things than I imagined.

I find it hard to believe you have no effects. Maybe you don't. I read the stuff you wrote from Japan at the time. Anyway I know I have effects. In fact, I keep getting surprised in new ways by how lingering the effects are. I can only imagine how it was for those in the stricken areas.

The thing that finally got to me was the aftershocks after a while. It just kept going and going, it felt like it was never going to be finished. Everything seemed etheral and emptied of meaning. Like, normally you look at a house and it feels special to you because it is your house. It holds a certain solidity. But now I can't feel that about any building, they are all just cardboard boxes, empty of those warm associations and solid feelings. You know? I hope it goes away because I don't wanna live with that feeling!

Originally posted by Partygirl
reply to post by silent thunder

 

...Everything seemed etheral and emptied of meaning. Like, normally you look at a house and it feels special to you because it is your house. It holds a certain solidity. But now I can't feel that about any building, they are all just cardboard boxes, empty of those warm associations and solid feelings. You know? I hope it goes away because I don't wanna live with that feeling!

edit on 2-9-2011 by Partygirl because: (no reason given)

Once seen, it can't be unseen. It will never go away. Because what happened is you saw the true nature of those things.

I'm very sorry.

However, there are great disadvantages to living with illusions, however warm. And consequently advantages in seeing things as they are, rather than as we want them to be.

reply to post by silent thunder


Thank you for speaking frankly. I will have to think about that, I dont want to but I will. Thank you.


Anyone else? I know there are other ATSers in Japan or who were in Japan so share your feelings with us please?

Interesting timing. I was having this conversation with a bunch of friends down at the corner izakaya a couple of nights ago. As background, I've been here quite a while, about a decade in the same town, and my friends that I'll tell you about are just regular working stiffs. 30 at the youngest, and the older guys are retired.

The common thread for all of us was this: we all made it through without injury or loss of property. But we all lost friends and colleagues. We all have friends who had damage to property, ranging from a few feet of water in the living room to complete loss of home and or business. And we've all had our livelihoods impacted.

It wasn't until Obon or so that any of us were able to really sit back with a bit of distance and reflect on it all. I'd say we've all made some very out of the ordinary life decisions triggered by the experience. Some of us quit drinking, others started. Some started subconsciously selling possessions and giving up luxuries. I found myself a lot more active in my community, but others had the opposite reaction and have become withdrawn. Two quit their jobs in July for reasons that seem a bit of an overreaction now, and there have been a few people leave my company in the past couple of months in the same condition. One friend is engaged, one's wife has one in the oven, one's into divorce proceedings.

It hit me at the time that we're all exhibiting the stress symptoms that usually accompany a bereavement. And that came as a bit of a shock, because it had never really occurred to any of us that we actually had. I mean, we know we had, obviously, but so has everyone else, so it's not supposed to be the same, is it? It's not fair, walking around feeling bad when everyone else is in the same boat.

Maybe it's a guy thing. Do the job that's in front of you, stiff upper lip and all that. Ganbatte.

I can't complain because my family is alive and I still have all my stuff. And my friends who lost their stuff can't complain, because other people lost their homes. And they can't complain either, because they've still got some of their family. And so on and so on.

So, yeah. If you ask me in 10 years, I'll have the benefit of hindsight to pinpoint how it's affected me. For now, like a lot of people, I'll freely admit to carrying around a suppressed ball of grief and anger and shock and a whole bunch of other things, and I'll freely admit that it's unhealthy to do so.

But it's oddly comforting knowing that I'm surrounded by people feeling the exact same thing.

I'm looking at your post thinking, she used the word sinking ? That messed up my whole post. But that's ok not that kind of a thread anyways.

I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to be a part of that kind of ferocious shaking. Hell ya, any one
who didn't come away from that completely sketched out was dead. Shell shock much.

SnF

reply to post by vox2442


Thank you for that, very informative. It sounds like you arent in Tokyo, am I correct? I am sorry for your losses.

It is interesting you say it is like a berevement. I did not know those kinds of symptoms were associated with that. It sounds like the people you work most closely with all responded by making big changes. It turns out I had made a bunch of major life changes right before the quake anway, so on top of that it was another layer of surreal.

Originally posted by randyvs

I'm looking at your post thinking, she used the word sinking ? That messed up my whole post. But that's ok not that kind of a thread anyways.

I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to be a part of that kind of ferocious shaking. Hell ya, any one
who didn't come away from that completely sketched out was dead. Shell shock much.

SnF

Thanks so much for your sympathy! I sort of feel I dont deserve any sympathy at all when so many other people lost so much, but on the other hand it makes me feel good. Appreciated!

A very difficult question,
for me the damned Plant make it impossible to focus the EQ and Tsunami itself,
always my priority is the Radiation and not the Damage or the lost of Life!

I got a hart PTSD. from the Boxer-Day Tsunami while i was making holiday in Thailand
so it was a kind of Deja Vu with all the Effects like stop to going out, stop to contact People,
stop to sleep naked and always store a lot of Food and Water!

I can't relax and i stopped to listen Music, i never paint a Picture since than,
i can't stay focused for more than 10min.
My (medical) Blog is closed since that day!

Normally i was thinking before 2004 that if something like this happen to me
i will do Party 24/7 but it is not like so,
it is more like a return into the Snail-house!

Last quake I have been in was some years ago during the middle school process/time though it did not happen in japan. Well anyways when everybody was all ducking under there desks and all scurrying around I started laughing out-loud to myself out of nowhere about a couple seconds before the quake started and a little into the whole shaking process and just sat there at the desk. It took quite a bit of effort to stop laughing and control my self, but ya quakes are interesting.

I know people don't like quakes and especially any of the really big ones, the kind that move mountains, but It would be something to experience and life trough, or not live through. Being in a big quake and even a little one it does give you a sort of rush. And you can usually feel the quake coming on, but wont notice the feeling till it hits, but after it passes and stops if you think back to the minutes before it hit, you can notice certain things about your body and mind that precludes warnings going off, or a little voice in your head saying something this way comes.

Ain't saying I like all the mayhem they cause, but....you know be prepared because quakes are as natural as can be, and eventually earth will shift here and there unnoticed and uncaring of what lives on its skin...its all just growing pains.

Reading these posts I got the impression that some posters were native English speakers living in Japan rather than native Japanese. I am curious just how many Japanese we have on this site? It matters because I want to hear what they feel. The other people could, I suppose, leave, go home, it's not the country, etc. But the native Japanese are different, neh?

Nothing really. Just except for the fact I'm not surprised of an earthquake happening anymore. It's common these days.

I would like to thank you all for your sincere and honest comments. I hope everybody recovers quickly in every possible way.

Please feel free to add more or introspect at will.

Thought it might be interesting to see...




This guy studied the Haitian earthquake victims, most of this is very relevant here.

The Psychological Impact of Earthquake in Haiti

The initial reaction in the aftermath of a disaster for many people will be a blunting of their feelings. They will be stunned or numb. Initially people may not accept what has happened. In New York City immediately after the 9/11 attack many family members did not believe that loved ones working in the World Trade Center who did not come home and were not registered in a hospital, actually had died. There were "missing persons posters" all around Manhattan which eventually were turned into memorial posters as the truth sank in.

Grieving is More Complicated Than Usual

Just about every survivor in Haiti can be expected to be going through a very personal grieving process. Over 150,000 people are known to have perished. Grief is a something that we all must go through at various times in our lives. There are various stages of grieving and ultimately most people while never forgetting a lost loved one, are able to resolve their grief in an expectable manner. However when the death is totally unexpected, traumatic, violent or involves children, the grieving takes on a much more complicated form. It is prolonged and much more difficult to resolve. There are often other psychological complications such as post traumatic stress as described below, alcohol and drug problems, anger, depression and suicidal behavior.

Most Will Have Symptoms Post Traumatic Stress

After this type of a mass trauma, at least half of the people will likely experience some symptoms of post traumatic stress. They will have recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the events that they have seen and been through. This can include nightmares and daytime flashbacks. At times people will act or feel as if the traumatic event were recurring. There may even be hallucinations or misperceptions where real things are misperceived as something related to the recent traumatic events. For example, the noise or vibrations of a passing plane or truck might immediately bring back a flood of the feelings that occurred during the earthquake. This can include rapid heart beat, fast breathing and other physical symptoms. When there are even mild after-shocks following a major earthquake some people are overwhelmed with emotion.

If you experience ongoing symptoms of PTS I do suggest getting some help, some of the effects can be quite harmful to your life and have lasting consequences for you and your family. Sometimes people recover quite well over time also, you be the judge if it is impacting your life.

God bless all of you in your recovery from this, and may you know stillness and peace.

reply to post by Partygirl


Of course I sympathise, I'm human and everyone in attendance for this horrific event, is a victim on one of the levels you mentioned. Thank God you are amoung the less victimized. Try to feel special in that respect, that you may not remain a victim longer than you should.

bump

I want to recommend the following Book:

2:46 Aftershocks: Stories from the Japan Earthquake

Is a kind of "Twitter-Reportage" and a historical Document

I don"t go Downtown
and i doubt that i will go tomorrow!

reply to post by Wertwog


Those vids are enough to give me shell shock and leave me gun shy. Absolutely chilling.