My personal perspective is this-
In general, personality characteristics are neither flaws nor weaknesses in themselves, they can become failures or problems in relation to goals and
We do not all have the same goals and intents. To further scramble the issue, we often have goals and intents which are at odds with each other- our
conscious awareness has one intent, the subconscious intends it’s opposite, and we end up striving for one thing and then sabotaging our efforts,
because of this schism.
The only way to be able to guess whether someones choices of act and behavior is a problem for them is if they are unhappy or complain about the
circumstances or experiences they create for themselves. Then it usually means there is a schism or internal conflict going on. They think they want
one kind of experience, but are unaware that their subconscious has a different agenda.
I see no reason you are obligated to do anything about it for mild cases- meaning if their actions aren’t going to bring about harm or death to
another or themselves (those extreme cases require response as social beings with the duty to protect our herd).
But if you happen to be person with the desire to aid others, (a neutral personality trait, which can be positive or negative depending upon how well
you have mastered it) then it is a case by case question- depends upon your role in relation to them, depends upon their will to be aided, which must
Do not even bother if they have no complaint and express that they are perfectly at peace with their behavior and the experiences they create for
themselves. Their conscious and subconscious are in sync.
If they are complaining of victimization, or not liking what they are getting through their behaviors, there is a schism. But that does not mean that
they will be open to acknowledging and working on bringing these parts to light and creating some compromises between them !
Most of the time, the subconscious intents are sub-conscious for a reason ! They do not WANT to acknowledge them ! So they can react violently at
having those rise to the surface.
I observe that we often push some desires into the subconscious because we have moral judgements against them.... like a desire to be dependant and
protected is considered « bad », so repressed (but still active and striving for that subconsciously).
Or they are repressed because they concern fears that they feel powerless to master, so wish to just deny altogether.
If you are in a position to help an individual who is claiming they are unhappy with their created experiences, and you can see an internal conflict
pulling them different ways, you can help bring the subconscious motivations to their awareness...... but be prepared, you will not be liked or met
with any appreciation for that. It may cause them discomfort. YOU may be then seen as the enemy sabotaging them, that up to then has been a mysterious
element, projected upon different people or events each time the sabotage happens. It could still help them in the long run, but most likely you will
not be there to see that, and will not be acknowledged as playing any part in their « revelation ». You choose this route, you’d be better off
not having any desire to be recognized by others as an aid or help.
If your position or role is one of leadership- a teacher, employer, parent, then you can be more direct and play a more direct role in their life. For
example, a teacher can pin point that a problematic personality trait in a student is actually a characteristic that needs a certain context and
exercises to become something they master and make a strength instead of weakness, so that teacher can put them into certain roles, give them certain
duties, which will set them on the road to developing those characteristics in a positive way.
Otherwise, you can only bring some awareness and leave the work up to the individual. What they do with it is their business, and trying to force them
to do anything with it is usually a waste of time. We all have the inherent need to fight for our self mastership and revolt against take overs by
Most of all, before even attempting to do anything for others in this way, knowing the self first is most important !!!!! The removing of the beams
from your eye before trying to remove the splinters in anothers is a valid concept. This is no simple thing, it is never « done » and is not just
being a sort of introspective character. It requires years sometimes of isolation and deep, deep introspection, to dive to the depths of ones own
subconscious, then a long time of bringing it into sync with your consciousness.
I tend to see this something like setting out on learning to ride and train a horse. Many people think they know how to do this because they went out
on a few rental horse trail rides.... they are dangerously mistaken. Those horses are following the habits and roads they are accustomed to and you
aren’t much more then a backpack that wiggles sometimes and they’ve learned to ignore. This is what it is when you are doing a self analyzation
that is superficial- you are still riding upon the values, and ideas, that have been conditioned into you and remain a blinder.
To learn to master horsemanship, YEARS of serious work, putting many hours into being honest, being receptive, facing fears and risks (often getting
hurt in the process) is necessary. A spiritual awakening is not for the faint of heart. Often you need to go crazy to become sane. The subconscious «
horse » within you is powerful and skittish.
Just like the way some people realize that and just decide to stay off of them, some people have the same reaction when it dawns on them that deep
learning of the self is that risky and difficult.
And that is a valid decision. Someone who doesn’t know how to ride, I would advise to just stay off horses altogether, unless they have the time and
passion to undergo the years of training. I’d say to them, just do other things that interest you more.
Same with trying to break or train other peoples « horses » (minds). Mind your own, keep it in it’s pen, or walk on a lead rope from time to time,
but stay out of other peoples business. You and they could come out worse for it.
edit on 28-8-2011 by Bluesma because: (no reason given)