Is anyone else in the spiritual struggle of their life right now?

Originally posted by Godselect777
I've been given a load of truth and even dreams given from God so I know he exists. I'm a recent convert just converted in July. I had a pretty supernatural awakening, things that went against science and dreams that correlated to things that were happening in reality that I didn't know about.

Despite all of this I am still smoking!!! God even made a pack of cigarettes disappear to first let me know that I shouldn't be smoking, that was over a month ago. I feel horribly guilt. I try to quit all the time. I'll buy a pack finish it then make it 2 or 3 days then give in and a buy another one. Each time I go without smoking I become just livid and get really angry and take it out on God. I feel horrible about it. I just feel ashamed of myself. Whenever I am withdrawing from the cigarettes I get in the worst mood ever and start justifying my smoking in very disrespectful ways. God has given me a great opportunity but I feel like I'm blowing it! You wouldn't believe some of the mean and nasty things I've thought.

Today is day 2 wish me luck. Hope God won't hold it against me.

Congrats on becoming a Christian!!!!!

It is good that you are struggling.

It is when you stop struggling that you need to be concerned.


1CO 9:24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.