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Hopeless

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posted on Aug, 22 2011 @ 06:40 PM
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Hopeless

How does one feel when their only source of joy exits their life?
How does one find a point to living?

When one's days are spent in idle amusement – when all the amusements on offer fall so far short of that which they have lost?

How can one justify extending their stay here when there is no-one to share with?

Long empty days with no warmth

No-one to laugh at or with

No exasperating, endearing little habits to look forward to
No strange little looks that defy translation
No being taken advantage of
No-one to twist ones arm into doing something one would rather not do
No smile.
How does one cope when confronted with one's own empty soul every day?
When the only thing that filled it with delight has gone forever?
How to carry on when one finds oneself over the brink, and doesn't wish to find the way back?
When every day becomes a battle to do that one thing that will finally release one from one's bondage

What is it? That thing that has to be done so that one can depart this Earth
Long, desolate days ahead with no light, no joy, no sharing, no irritation, no fun

A pointless, empty life devoid of the companionship that eased one's passage through a cruel and lonely world

Uprooted from a warm, chaotic place and re-planted in a clean and sterile atmosphere

Without the only joy, the only comfort, the light of one's life

So sad, but beyond sadness

Way past Misery, an old friend who will miss out on this particular pain

Although, way past pain, too

Not even numb, way past that

Just hopeless, simply hopeless

Without hope for a brighter tomorrow

Without hope for an escape form hopelessness

A pointless life, no more sharing, no more warmth

Just a lack. A lack of the only thing that made life worth living or even tolerable

Cast adrift without one's lifeline to the world

Seeking small compensations and finding none, or very few

Nothing left, no point to it all

No-one to be here for

Nothing to be here for

Just carry on haunting a life that is no longer desired or desirable

Cold, sterile life with no meaning
No point to any of it

No sleep to draw comfort from

Just meaningless dozing and a deep desire to wake up dead

Empty vessel – heart ripped out long ago

Appeal to soul to find meaning for this empty, pointless life to continue

No answer


Get through each day and watch the will to live slipping ever further away

Nothing left, nothing to live for

Nothing to die for, either

Pointless

Pointless and hopeless
No reason to be here

No reason not to be here
No reason for anything. No reason for nothing

Just desolate

Empty


Nothing left

No joy forever, now

No more warmth

No more ingratitude

No purpose

Just nothing

Empty, pointless life

Going on, sapping will to even exist

Anywhere, as anything

One desire left, to turn out the light and be dark forever

Had enough now. Don't want any more

Joy all gone, never to return

Feelings out now, never to return

Nothing left

Another part of me has died – farewell. I know it wanted to go

So little left. Death by a thousand cuts. Not many pieces left now for life to cut from me

Empty

Empty vessel

I'll be all gone soon

I don't want to resurrect the automatic pilot. I'll see it through this time

Stay and be numb

Stay and take the despair

Learn to live with the nothing

Learn to cope with being Hopeless.




posted on Aug, 22 2011 @ 06:42 PM
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well that was depressing



posted on Aug, 22 2011 @ 06:50 PM
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reply to post by Kaiuk
 


i have been there but i always just hold on for the ride. I know this too will pass and the closing of one door it the opening to another. life is a mystery you never knows what tomorrow brings.



posted on Aug, 22 2011 @ 06:57 PM
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reply to post by berenike
 


The worst part of it all, is that even though all that was written within this OP is known, there still remains a lack of caring. That lack of caring, only creates yet another barrier, to halt any forward movement. I truly wish I could give you an answer. Sadly, I cannot. All I can say, and can guarantee as a fact, is that you are not alone with these feelings.


[color=CFECEC]"What makes loneliness an anguish, is not that I have no one to share my burden,
but this: I have only my own burden to bear."

- Dag Hammarskjold



 

[color=6AFB92]...and most importantly, promise yourself to not make ANY radical drastic decisions.

edit on 8/22/11 by BrokenCircles because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 22 2011 @ 07:11 PM
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reply to post by berenike
 


Wow, just wow. That brought me back to a time about 5 years ago (I'm only 27) that I'd been engaged but it went horribly wrong.... I was on my own for awhile but it all worked out a couple years later after feeling like this. The stars, soulmates, fate... maybe it seems a certain way at the time but believe me it's meant to be how it plays out, go with it. Focus on healing and take from it something to hold onto to remember ...to learn. and WAIT. Be patient. "True love waits" Be grateful in the end.

I hope u r ok and if u need someone to chat with send me a message. Writing a haunting love gone wrong epic is one thing but realize u do have ppl to reach out to in real life, ats or otherwise who will care, ok?



posted on Aug, 22 2011 @ 07:18 PM
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Thanks everybody. I'm alright - better for getting it out.

Just a part of the grieving process.

I'll remember your kindness.



posted on Aug, 22 2011 @ 09:45 PM
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Giggle. You need to stop reading Friedrich Nietzsche before bedtime. Nihilism is not a productive paradigm for a happy life.

Anyhoo, I am glad you are able to express yourself. Putting your thoughts into words for reflection is the best therapy you can provide yourself. Once it's out of your head, you can learn to move on. Congrats!



posted on Aug, 23 2011 @ 01:50 AM
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I think we all go through times when we feel like we are here on earth to be tortured and unloved. We want to end of life, we compare our self to others who have it great and we get depressed thinking what we don't have. Think of what you have and count your blessings as everything happens for a reason. It could be a learning process or something to help you in this life. Hope you have a nice day! Take care and be strong as we all feel down at some point.



posted on Aug, 23 2011 @ 01:01 PM
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I hope all is ok and if you need to u2u me.
I think we all feel empty form time to time, maybe it's time to fill your cup/recharge the battries.
edit on 23-8-2011 by Kurokage because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 23 2011 @ 01:20 PM
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Hang in there, take it easy, I know the feeling, as many here do. Many.




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