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Originally posted by lbndhr
I do not want my name on his birth certificate anymore. I wish i had an abortion when I found out I was pregnant
Originally posted by lbndhr
I'm hoping to get a real legal answer here from an attorney.
I have a son age 29 he is a nightmare to my life and society. He is sly and smooth talking enough to get through his evil deeds without recourse. He has ruined a few good women's lives. He has been involved in criminal actions and gets away with it. He has stolen out of my bank account well over $10,000 from me in 2005. ( he is not allowed near me or my surroundings anymore). I do not want my name on his birth certificate anymore. I wish i had an abortion when I found out I was pregnant. I wish he would fall off the face of earth. Get my drift with how I feel about him? So can I get my name off his birth certificate?
Originally posted by Thundersmurf
Originally posted by lbndhr
I do not want my name on his birth certificate anymore. I wish i had an abortion when I found out I was pregnant
Harsh
Originally posted by EvanB
Well at least we can see where he gets it from
You can take a name off a document but you will NEVER be able to erase the fact you are his mother.
Originally posted by SaturnFX
no, that is actually not even your property...trying to remove your name from -his- birth certificate is quite impossible.
I blame the parents! (kidding).
Listen, many familys have a black sheep. my personal family included. I have a wayward brother that is probably lock step with what you are dealing with...however, with age comes wisdom. Once he got past 30 and lost his looks/charms and started dealing with lifes lesser qualities, he did tone it down a bit. He is still a pain, but as the years go by, he is growing up a little bit.
But anyhow, you said you got a restraining order against him...good. Well, I suggest you stop carrying him mentally and just block it off...in 10 or so years, he may try to undo the mess he made for himself, but for now, you hate him..but I suspect you hate him because you love him and are seriously disappointed in him..want him to do good and he keeps falling short. So, take a mental break from him and see what develops with no interaction in 10 or so. and if he is still a disappointment, try another 10 after that, etc.
You cannot choose your parents, and you cannot dictate to an adult child, you are responsible however for just yourself and your personal reactions...so, let go of the mental grip he still clearly holds on you and focus in on things that make you happy verses angry...
Originally posted by lbndhr
Here I will give 1 example of what my male child has done. This is hard but no-one here will ever see me so here goes. Rape, is that worth feeling harsh? getting away with it and me knowing he did this to someone and got away with it, is it wrong to feel harsh?
Originally posted by Open2Truth
reply to post by lbndhr
What is the specific result you wish to gain in changing his birth certificate? Is it out of a concern to remove yourself from the public record for social and/or legal reasons - or is it out of a desire to symbolically remove yourself from connection to him for your own healing?
I'm not asking to pass judgement at all - I ask because my advice would be different to you depending on your goal(s).
Originally posted by SaturnFX
Originally posted by lbndhr
Here I will give 1 example of what my male child has done. This is hard but no-one here will ever see me so here goes. Rape, is that worth feeling harsh? getting away with it and me knowing he did this to someone and got away with it, is it wrong to feel harsh?
Damn, called that one.
Anyhow, I would suggest one of the factors in him ever wanting to get back on good terms with you is for him to personally seek therapy. Rape is quite often a symptom of something else that will run many things in their life.
He may be blocking something...was he molested as a child that you are aware of? Sometimes these vicious types are actually just acting out in defense of their subconscious blocking. He needs help, but nothing you can give him. Prison won't fix him, he needs introspection to understand the root of his sociopathic behavior
Originally posted by lbndhr
I have been trying to stay out of his life for at least 6 months, he keeps mingling in my life from afar. What is the problem with him, every single crime/mistake he makes, remember he is 29 a adult man, he blames me. He grew up in a middle class family with mostly everything he needed, fair punishment when needed, ( i never spanked them thereis other ways of punishment, my other tow came out just fine)
Originally posted by lbndhr
I do not think he was raped as a child, he had a good happy childhood, he started changing when he was about 14 and I let him go live with his dad
Originally posted by SaturnFX
Originally posted by lbndhr
I have been trying to stay out of his life for at least 6 months, he keeps mingling in my life from afar. What is the problem with him, every single crime/mistake he makes, remember he is 29 a adult man, he blames me. He grew up in a middle class family with mostly everything he needed, fair punishment when needed, ( i never spanked them thereis other ways of punishment, my other tow came out just fine)
He can blame you for what formed him if he wants, but what has that gotten him? (to ask him)
He can blame the world for his life, but what will that accomplish in the long run? (again, ask to him).
He is in charge of who he is today...not his past, not the world, but him...he decides what his future will be like in 10 years. So, he can either find his flaws, develop some principles, and aim for something for himself, or still be blaming the world in 10 years...his choice.
I would say these things to him, tell him you love him as a mother, but do not like him as a person, and to stop contacting you when he does until he wants better for himself verses blame for others..this is measured in actions, not words..talk is cheap.