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Can a mother have her name removed from her adult child's birth certificate?

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posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:03 PM
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I'm hoping to get a real legal answer here from an attorney.
I have a son age 29 he is a nightmare to my life and society. He is sly and smooth talking enough to get through his evil deeds without recourse. He has ruined a few good women's lives. He has been involved in criminal actions and gets away with it. He has stolen out of my bank account well over $10,000 from me in 2005. ( he is not allowed near me or my surroundings anymore). I do not want my name on his birth certificate anymore. I wish i had an abortion when I found out I was pregnant. I wish he would fall off the face of earth. Get my drift with how I feel about him? So can I get my name off his birth certificate?
(BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME, PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE 1ST PAGE IT HAS SOME EXAMPLES)
edit on 20-8-2011 by lbndhr because: ADDED A LINE




posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:06 PM
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Originally posted by lbndhr
I do not want my name on his birth certificate anymore. I wish i had an abortion when I found out I was pregnant


Harsh



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:08 PM
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Originally posted by lbndhr
I'm hoping to get a real legal answer here from an attorney.
I have a son age 29 he is a nightmare to my life and society. He is sly and smooth talking enough to get through his evil deeds without recourse. He has ruined a few good women's lives. He has been involved in criminal actions and gets away with it. He has stolen out of my bank account well over $10,000 from me in 2005. ( he is not allowed near me or my surroundings anymore). I do not want my name on his birth certificate anymore. I wish i had an abortion when I found out I was pregnant. I wish he would fall off the face of earth. Get my drift with how I feel about him? So can I get my name off his birth certificate?


Well at least we can see where he gets it from

You can take a name off a document but you will NEVER be able to erase the fact you are his mother.



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:10 PM
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Originally posted by Thundersmurf

Originally posted by lbndhr
I do not want my name on his birth certificate anymore. I wish i had an abortion when I found out I was pregnant


Harsh


I didnt get harsh over night, it took years and years to happen, infact this overwhelming need to rid him completely outta my life has evolved over the past few months.



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:12 PM
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reply to post by lbndhr
 


Quite simply you are a bad mother.

I am sorry but any parent who writes something like this is a bad parent, you wish you had an abortion, sorry that is just sick. Have you ever considered that he may have turned out the way he did as a result of you bad parenting you should be endeavouring to help your son not cut him off like this.

I know I don’t have the benefit of all the facts but any mother who writes something like this probably did not deserve the gift of a child in the first place.

I know I am being harsh, but I am sorry I feel a need for both your sakes to tell you to pull yourself together and sort stuff out with your son. No matter what you are always going to be his mother so sort your relationship out with your son.
edit on 20-8-2011 by OtherSideOfTheCoin because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:12 PM
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Here I will give 1 example of what my male child has done. This is hard but no-one here will ever see me so here goes. Rape, is that worth feeling harsh? getting away with it and me knowing he did this to someone and got away with it, is it wrong to feel harsh?



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:13 PM
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no, that is actually not even your property...trying to remove your name from -his- birth certificate is quite impossible.

I blame the parents! (kidding).

Listen, many familys have a black sheep. my personal family included. I have a wayward brother that is probably lock step with what you are dealing with...however, with age comes wisdom. Once he got past 30 and lost his looks/charms and started dealing with lifes lesser qualities, he did tone it down a bit. He is still a pain, but as the years go by, he is growing up a little bit.

But anyhow, you said you got a restraining order against him...good. Well, I suggest you stop carrying him mentally and just block it off...in 10 or so years, he may try to undo the mess he made for himself, but for now, you hate him..but I suspect you hate him because you love him and are seriously disappointed in him..want him to do good and he keeps falling short. So, take a mental break from him and see what develops with no interaction in 10 or so. and if he is still a disappointment, try another 10 after that, etc.

You cannot choose your parents, and you cannot dictate to an adult child, you are responsible however for just yourself and your personal reactions...so, let go of the mental grip he still clearly holds on you and focus in on things that make you happy verses angry...



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:15 PM
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Originally posted by EvanB
Well at least we can see where he gets it from

You can take a name off a document but you will NEVER be able to erase the fact you are his mother.


Well said. It's a worthless piece of paper. I wonder what the OP is really trying to do with this action. Saddens me to see people who can't work through their problems.



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:16 PM
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reply to post by OtherSideOfTheCoin
 


Pretty judgemental...you don't know the story beyond a person whom has finally had enough with her -adult- child and is over-reactionary. For all you know, this man may have raped many people, murdered, etc...you have no clue what the situation is, is what the point. Sometimes bad seeds are born..this may be a mental disorder or self inflicted drug disorder, who knows...but its probably more productive to try and brighten her up and give new perspective verses just cast stones...don'tcha think?

What difference is there between her hating how her son turned out, and you fueling your own personal hate at her in response of her hate...like attracts like?



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:17 PM
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reply to post by lbndhr
 


What is the specific result you wish to gain in changing his birth certificate? Is it out of a concern to remove yourself from the public record for social and/or legal reasons - or is it out of a desire to symbolically remove yourself from connection to him for your own healing?

I'm not asking to pass judgement at all - I ask because my advice would be different to you depending on your goal(s).



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:17 PM
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Originally posted by SaturnFX
no, that is actually not even your property...trying to remove your name from -his- birth certificate is quite impossible.

I blame the parents! (kidding).

Listen, many familys have a black sheep. my personal family included. I have a wayward brother that is probably lock step with what you are dealing with...however, with age comes wisdom. Once he got past 30 and lost his looks/charms and started dealing with lifes lesser qualities, he did tone it down a bit. He is still a pain, but as the years go by, he is growing up a little bit.

But anyhow, you said you got a restraining order against him...good. Well, I suggest you stop carrying him mentally and just block it off...in 10 or so years, he may try to undo the mess he made for himself, but for now, you hate him..but I suspect you hate him because you love him and are seriously disappointed in him..want him to do good and he keeps falling short. So, take a mental break from him and see what develops with no interaction in 10 or so. and if he is still a disappointment, try another 10 after that, etc.

You cannot choose your parents, and you cannot dictate to an adult child, you are responsible however for just yourself and your personal reactions...so, let go of the mental grip he still clearly holds on you and focus in on things that make you happy verses angry...

I have been trying to stay out of his life for at least 6 months, he keeps mingling in my life from afar. What is the problem with him, every single crime/mistake he makes, remember he is 29 a adult man, he blames me. He grew up in a middle class family with mostly everything he needed, fair punishment when needed, ( i never spanked them thereis other ways of punishment, my other tow came out just fine)



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:19 PM
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Originally posted by lbndhr
Here I will give 1 example of what my male child has done. This is hard but no-one here will ever see me so here goes. Rape, is that worth feeling harsh? getting away with it and me knowing he did this to someone and got away with it, is it wrong to feel harsh?


Damn, called that one.

Anyhow, I would suggest one of the factors in him ever wanting to get back on good terms with you is for him to personally seek therapy. Rape is quite often a symptom of something else that will run many things in their life.

He may be blocking something...was he molested as a child that you are aware of? Sometimes these vicious types are actually just acting out in defense of their subconscious blocking. He needs help, but nothing you can give him. Prison won't fix him, he needs introspection to understand the root of his sociopathic behavior



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:19 PM
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reply to post by lbndhr
 



Some people are just wired wrong no matter how they were raised.
I think a postpartum abortion is called murder so you unfortunately waited too long.

Don't try to mess around with the BC it doen't matter at this point. You should see a lawyer about how to go about legally disowning him.



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:20 PM
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Originally posted by Open2Truth
reply to post by lbndhr
 


What is the specific result you wish to gain in changing his birth certificate? Is it out of a concern to remove yourself from the public record for social and/or legal reasons - or is it out of a desire to symbolically remove yourself from connection to him for your own healing?

I'm not asking to pass judgement at all - I ask because my advice would be different to you depending on your goal(s).


Public and Social reasons. When he does get caught and his actions will hit the MSM, I dont need ot be pulled into it. I have tried and tried and tried to assist and help him, he rejects my every move.



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:21 PM
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Originally posted by SaturnFX

Originally posted by lbndhr
Here I will give 1 example of what my male child has done. This is hard but no-one here will ever see me so here goes. Rape, is that worth feeling harsh? getting away with it and me knowing he did this to someone and got away with it, is it wrong to feel harsh?


Damn, called that one.

Anyhow, I would suggest one of the factors in him ever wanting to get back on good terms with you is for him to personally seek therapy. Rape is quite often a symptom of something else that will run many things in their life.

He may be blocking something...was he molested as a child that you are aware of? Sometimes these vicious types are actually just acting out in defense of their subconscious blocking. He needs help, but nothing you can give him. Prison won't fix him, he needs introspection to understand the root of his sociopathic behavior


I do not think he was raped as a child, he had a good happy childhood, he started changing when he was about 14 and I let him go live with his dad



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:23 PM
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Originally posted by lbndhr
I have been trying to stay out of his life for at least 6 months, he keeps mingling in my life from afar. What is the problem with him, every single crime/mistake he makes, remember he is 29 a adult man, he blames me. He grew up in a middle class family with mostly everything he needed, fair punishment when needed, ( i never spanked them thereis other ways of punishment, my other tow came out just fine)


He can blame you for what formed him if he wants, but what has that gotten him? (to ask him)
He can blame the world for his life, but what will that accomplish in the long run? (again, ask to him).

He is in charge of who he is today...not his past, not the world, but him...he decides what his future will be like in 10 years. So, he can either find his flaws, develop some principles, and aim for something for himself, or still be blaming the world in 10 years...his choice.

I would say these things to him, tell him you love him as a mother, but do not like him as a person, and to stop contacting you when he does until he wants better for himself verses blame for others..this is measured in actions, not words..talk is cheap.



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:23 PM
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hi, no you cant.

edit on 20-8-2011 by CriticalCK because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:25 PM
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I forgot to mention. When my daughter was 12 and he was 20 he introduced her to meth. she is knwo 21 and is still fighting this.
One time him and my older son was driving from cali to texas, my oldest son had no idea he had a couple of ounces of meth on him ( he was 23 at this time) they went through a border check and the dogs were out, just as they approached the dogs my evil son through the meth is my older sons lap. my older son got alot of prison time of r this and a felony...Good guy? lol



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:26 PM
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Originally posted by lbndhr
I do not think he was raped as a child, he had a good happy childhood, he started changing when he was about 14 and I let him go live with his dad


Then something happened at around 13-14ish...not saying you have to play investigator or anything. Perhaps it was something tramatic, perhaps it was just something normal in growing but with a seriously underdeveloped sense of copeing (lost virginity, experimented with drugs, etc)...point is, something happened that needs to be dug out to understand...and that is the job of a therapist...and until he sorts that out, chances of him changing will not be likely.

He is angry at something, and if you are speaking truth, then even he is not sure what he is angry at..just that the person that should have protected him (you) is one of many targets of his anger now.



posted on Aug, 20 2011 @ 02:26 PM
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Originally posted by SaturnFX

Originally posted by lbndhr
I have been trying to stay out of his life for at least 6 months, he keeps mingling in my life from afar. What is the problem with him, every single crime/mistake he makes, remember he is 29 a adult man, he blames me. He grew up in a middle class family with mostly everything he needed, fair punishment when needed, ( i never spanked them thereis other ways of punishment, my other tow came out just fine)


He can blame you for what formed him if he wants, but what has that gotten him? (to ask him)
He can blame the world for his life, but what will that accomplish in the long run? (again, ask to him).

He is in charge of who he is today...not his past, not the world, but him...he decides what his future will be like in 10 years. So, he can either find his flaws, develop some principles, and aim for something for himself, or still be blaming the world in 10 years...his choice.

I would say these things to him, tell him you love him as a mother, but do not like him as a person, and to stop contacting you when he does until he wants better for himself verses blame for others..this is measured in actions, not words..talk is cheap.


Thank you for being kind enough to share soem advice.





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