Help understanding strange experiences.

Hello Everyone,

To help explain my dilemma I must give a bit of background information. There have always been strange experiences which have taken place throughout my life. What some would call “paranormal events” have featured prominently throughout my existence. However, I always thought I was unique in that I could not accept them as real until quite recently. It seems like so many people out there can just admit this reality to themselves while I say “no, it can’t be” or “why would this be happening to me.” I actually believe that I would not seek any type of esoteric knowledge had it not been for my strange experiences. I have a girlfriend and two dogs; I am a gym rat and also work in a psychiatric/crisis center. On the outside I appear to be a perfectly acceptable member of society (whatever that amounts to) but there is turmoil growing inside. This has caused me to look for answers outside of the mainstream. It has brought me to places like ATS where I can ask the questions I need answers to without fear of backlash. So here we go with the story…..

My girlfriend takes part in what is called a “prosperity group.” In this group members call each other on the phone and to read gratitudes and/or and recite positive passages from books which are given to them in their monthly meetings. My girlfriend was conducting a prosperity call one night while I anxiously waited for her so we could head to the gym. I paced back and forth because it was late and we were going to have to rush to the gym since it was already almost closing time, finally I just accepted our lateness. It was winter and I was cold in my gym shorts so I leaned myself over one of the heating vents in our kitchen. Standing there I suddenly had incredible feeling sweep over me. Now I have taken a few Buddhist courses and this had to be the feeling commonly known as “enlightenment.” I saw everything and was everything and knew everything all at once. My girlfriend got off the phone and started talking to me and realized that her boyfriend had left the building. She began asking me questions and I had amazing answers to even the most complex ones. She was genuinely awestruck but began to cry because she did not know what this meant for us. Did I just become Buddha? What was she to do with her life now? Questions like these surfaced and as quickly as the “enlightenment” had come on, I lost it. At the time, as the experience faded away, there was an assurance from the omnipresence I felt that return to this place of peace was easily attainable.

Now as I stated earlier, I work in a psychiatric facility so I am no stranger to mental illness in every one of its forms. I did massive amounts of self-analysis for months afterward, I was terrified of what all of this meant for me. A part of me sought answers and the other part of me deprecated heavily any of its attempts to expand upon what had happened. I felt a massive dichotomy growing within myself and for months was in a form of active denial. I stayed away from metaphysical conversations in general and focused on political discussions or other “worldly” interests and desires. It became perfectly clear that I needed to do something about my situation when I lost interest in bodybuilding. If you knew anything about me then you would know that lifting is not something I take lightly (get the pun there? A pretty bad one I must admit). Once this happened I sought out answers on ATS and Youtube but have yet to come across anything which resonates with me.

I realize I have dragged this on long enough so I will get to the questions I have for you all now.

1. I haven’t meditated for years, I watch TV (though at the time of the incident I hadn’t for about two months), I do not actively seek enlightenment and I drink on occasion. So it would seem from my research that I am not a candidate for this sort of thing, so my first question is: “Why did it take place?”

2. I am not a poet so I cannot describe it to you in stunning enough detail the "oneness" I felt, but believe me when I say that it was amazing. I felt love, plain and simple, everyone tosses around the word but I understood what it was to “live” love even if it was only for a short time. So my second question is: “Why does someone like me deserve to feel that and not everyone else as well?” I am convinced the world would change if they could have only one minute of my time in “that place.”

3. Third question: “Has anyone else experienced this ‘enlightenment’ for only a short time like I have?” It has always been portrayed as something you must dedicate your entire life to achieving and then you get to bask in its glow for eternity.

4. I mentioned in the first paragraph that this was not my first strange experience. Throughout my life I have seen things and had psychic episodes which were verified by those around me. These mostly occurred when I was younger (my mother says her family line carries this trait) and also for about a year before I discovered ATS, hence my joining. So apparently I either carry a genetic form of mild schizophrenia or I am “gifted.” So my fourth question is: “What is the use of this trait in our world today?” I could understand its use in maybe a tribal setting but in this day and age it just seems to interfere with everyday living.

Thank you all for bearing with my long-winded explanation. I look forward to hearing your any answers that you may have.

Welcome to the RH negative bloodline world....

I'm O Positive though?

reply to post by Sentience365


Yes and thats ok ! It just sounds like a neg world scenario thing. Friend you are very smart and always go with your gut feelings ! Its time of change and you are awakening to it...

I think it has nothing to do with bloodline. I would wager that most people DO experience something like yours at some time in their life and I would consider it a gift albeit, a short-lived one for most. A gift that we draw on at a future point when we are ready for a more permanent state of awareness. Sometimes I think the body is truly a vessel that gets to the point it must bubble over and spill out depending on what we have filled it with determines the experience.

My experience was one of complete and utter joy and every question I asked was answered rapidly. It also lasted for weeks gradually diminishing. I allowed the old patterns to come back. You know the ones. Fear, stress, worry...legion man! It was a total purification! I understand what the path is and that each one of us can acheive that state that christ walked. We are taught that that state of being was only for one man, but that's the lie. We don't need a mediator as the Gnostics believe. We have it right inside us.

Also, that state of being has an awesome sense of humor.

To explain furthur.The Gnostics had to hide their beliefs that man does not need a mediator outside himself.

reply to post by bjsmi2


Well thanks for the reply. I hope this change can hurry up and get here so I can find some relief.

www.youtube.com... Maybe watch this.. Its an interesting theory if you have an hour to waste... Good luck with your journey...

reply to post by bjsmi2


Looks interesting, thanks for the link!

Sentience, have you read the Celestine Prophecy? It's absolutely true!

reply to post by Onboard2


I get what you're saying. Funny you brought up Christ because when I had my experience I thought to myself "This had to be what Christ was talking about." All the prophets it seemed were able to look into this place and find peace.

I also tend to agree, based on my experience seemingly coming from inside me, that we might not require a mediator.

You could also look at it from the point of view that the christ consciousness IS the mediator. I do think it affects the pineal gland.I knew without a doubt that we are always okay no matter what happens.

reply to post by Onboard2


I read a part of it and then I lost my book at a friend's house. I have seen synchronicities happening all around me, I just haven't figured out a way to make them work for me. Some say it's as easy as letting life guide you, but I have a hard time letting go of the rails and stepping into the pool lol.

reply to post by Onboard2


Ha! See, there's a synchronicity now. You mentioned the pineal gland and I was watching this just an hour ago.

YES...letting go. It's not that easy. I remember reading a book about surrendering and it really clicked with me one day. It was truly amazing and this was about 3 years after I had my experience. This day I decided to totally surrender, as the book suggested. I had the best day of my life! The synchronicites that happened that day were amazing and what's funny is the people around you are also affected by your energy. I had people tell me that they had the best day and it was just like any other day! Whatever I wanted came right to me. It was amazIng.

Do you by chance remember the name of the book?

Your on the right road friend ! There are many like you ! Stay strong ! Go with the inner fire ! Only you can answer your own questions as weird as that sounds...

Originally posted by Sentience365
Do you by chance remember the name of the book?

No, sorry, I don't remember the name of the book. I think it was probably one with a guru on his way to attaining total enlightenment. I know he taught meditation. I've never been able to meditate, because I ususally fall asleep, but one day as I was attempting to meditate and fall asleep I saw a black horse and then I was the black horse that jumped from a cliff to the other side. That's when I went through a major 'crossing point' in my life and it wasn't easy!

reply to post by bjsmi2


To be honest, no one has been able to help me out at any point in my life with this stuff, so you may be right that I need to find my own answers.

What has always helped, however, is asking questions of others who have had similar experiences and simply letting the reality of a world outside ours sink in.

reply to post by Onboard2


I also struggled with meditation a few years back as well. I had a couple good experiences with it but nothing groundbreaking so I slowly drifted away from it.

Well, everyone has their own unique experience and it's never the same for each of us. I'd say you had an experience of total awareness and the love and compassion that we can experience within and feel within every cell of the body...I don't know how a person could stay on earth at that level for long. It's temporary for most, but we can still tap into it. I see it as a gift.