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my 2 daughters were 15 when i felt they were at least a little ready to put their toes into the dating pool,13 to me is a little young,the maturity level at that age,no matter who you are,or who your parents think you are,is not enough for what they are getting into...
Originally posted by angelchanneller
reply to post by DragonriderGal
So help me out please.
I have a 13 year old heading in to the dating time and I am worried because he is reclusive, smart and always on line. He is a good boy and I worry.
What do you recommend to me as a parent? My daughter was stalked on line once and it was her fault... do not get me wrong. But we are her parents so we felt at fault as well. It is all good now and that was back in the day.
But I do need help with this and I am so happy to hear there are options.
Thanks for your loving response by the way.
i didnt know what the term helicopter parent meant and if anyone else does'nt, heres the meaning > en.wikipedia.org...
Originally posted by angelchanneller
reply to post by blocula
I totally agree on that...and he is not going to date this young. He won't even get a car until (he will borrow mine) until well after sixteen. But I am a helicopter mom. I figure since God brought this thread to me, I need to get the advice while I can. xo
Originally posted by Pinke
Originally posted by Veilwalker
I agree with the bolded bit. and, thing is, there are many, many women who do this without a thought..and many women who won't do it but agree with the tactic.
If we were discussing an episode of Bold and the Beautiful I might agree with you.
I'm not friends with anyone male or female or in between who would agree with that 'tactic'.
the government wears a mask as well,so of course every state does,every county does,every town does and everyone does...
Originally posted by Veilwalker
Originally posted by Pinke
Originally posted by Veilwalker
I agree with the bolded bit. and, thing is, there are many, many women who do this without a thought..and many women who won't do it but agree with the tactic.
If we were discussing an episode of Bold and the Beautiful I might agree with you.
I'm not friends with anyone male or female or in between who would agree with that 'tactic'.
What people say rarely intersects with what people actually DO. everyone thinks their circle of friends is solid, a reflection of them and you. if you really dig deep with people, though, you find the ugly. everyone wears a mask..
Originally posted by blocula
women tell men what they want to hear, but its not what they are thinking or scheming.
i might "sound" bitter, but i'm not and the ability to make babies has been around a lot longer than money has. things are usually fine in a relationship until marriage comes along, then people quickly realize that the doorway out of a relationship is locked, theres no more easy way out...and my bitter sounding statement has nothing to do with personal experience. it has to do with guy after guy after guy after guy telling me how they were rolled over emotionally and financially by women who lied and lured them in with sex and did "anything" the men asked them to do,then kept on lying and told them they loved them,followed by marriage. then turned around and dragged them into court where the men are threatened with prison and are forced to bow down and pay. these days, lots of women drift from men to men, totally uncaring about the trail of emotional wreckage they are leaving behind them, for no other reason than the self satisfaction of i,me,mine greed...
Originally posted by DragonriderGal
Originally posted by blocula
women tell men what they want to hear, but its not what they are thinking or scheming.
Wow, I do have to say you sound really bitter. I'm thinking you have your own set of baggage you bring into a relationship which tends to impact that relationship in predictable negative ways. But then you blame all the problems on your gal pal. It takes two to tango, fella. You are picking dysfunction women who will meet your expetactations of failure, even as you are meeting theirs. It is all a huge game, and until you figure out what YOU are doing to make these relationships fail, keep on failing they will.
And I've had plenty of guys lie thru their teeth to me. But of course they were going after sex, not money. Men can't be sure that the child produced is theirs, so the more women they can 'fertilize', the better chance that their genetics will be carried on. A woman has no doubt who the child's mother is, but now she has to take care of the baby until it can be self sufficient. That is why hormones drive men to crave sex, and women to crave money (security for raising the children).
So both sides of the relationship equation do things to 'cope' but which destroy any real chance of true connection; most of us are terrified of true connection (which is an incredible vulnerable state) on an unconscious level because we either saw our parents rip each other apart when they got close, or we never learned how to be connected because we never saw it modeled for us. There are other stressors of course that will cause us to fear connection, but those are some of the main ones I've noticed. This society, in case you haven't noticed, is pretty screwed up and anyone growing up in it is going to have to do some work to get past the damage done us in the 'socialization' process.
Originally posted by blocula
i might "sound" bitter, but i'm not and the ability to make babies has been around a lot longer than money has. things are usually fine in a relationship until marriage comes along, then people quickly realize that the doorway out of a relationship is locked, theres no more easy way out...and my bitter sounding statement has nothing to do with personal experience. it has to do with guy after guy after guy after guy telling me how they were rolled over emotionally and financially by women who lied and lured them in with sex and did "anything" the men asked them to do,then kept on lying and told them they loved them,followed by marriage. then turned around and dragged them into court where the men are threatened with prison and are forced to bow down and pay. these days, lots of women drift from men to men, totally uncaring about the trail of emotional wreckage they are leaving behind them, for no other reason than the self satisfaction of i,me,mine greed...
if a guy takes a girl to court he has to "prove" his case completely and will hardly ever be believed...if a girl takes a guy to court she and her complaint are "welcomed with open arms" and he has to "prove" he didnt do it, because the courts smell $$$ when a girl drags a guy into court and the "system" is geared well in favor of the girl and all it takes for the guy to fall into this trap is believing in the illusion of modern marriage,with or without a child...deltabravo.net...
Originally posted by DragonriderGal
Originally posted by blocula
i might "sound" bitter, but i'm not and the ability to make babies has been around a lot longer than money has. things are usually fine in a relationship until marriage comes along, then people quickly realize that the doorway out of a relationship is locked, theres no more easy way out...and my bitter sounding statement has nothing to do with personal experience. it has to do with guy after guy after guy after guy telling me how they were rolled over emotionally and financially by women who lied and lured them in with sex and did "anything" the men asked them to do,then kept on lying and told them they loved them,followed by marriage. then turned around and dragged them into court where the men are threatened with prison and are forced to bow down and pay. these days, lots of women drift from men to men, totally uncaring about the trail of emotional wreckage they are leaving behind them, for no other reason than the self satisfaction of i,me,mine greed...
For pity sake.. I said security for raising the child.. in this society that equates to money; and in most societies it equates to material wealth of some kind.
And really.. do you think men don't lie to us women with promises of love or whatever else they have NO intention of delivering on, just so they can get in our pants?? The only difference is it takes a lot longer to raise a child than trick a gal into having sex, so a woman may feel the need to carry on the deception longer. And if the men are the fathers of the children, then it is their obligation to assist in their raising. If men keep sneaking out of that obligation, the women are just going to get sneakier and smarter about getting the money they need for the task of child rearing.
And sadly way too many men DON'T take responsibility for the child they've created which is why the legal system got dragged into it. Now if you guys would just keep it in your pants and use protection when you don't, you'll be able to avoid a LOT of that 'women ripping poor little old you off' syndrome.
And emotional wreckage? Most of that wreckage is from an abusive childhood that the guys so don't want to deal with, or even admit. That's why they choose the abusive women they do! It mirrors their family of origin issues. Thus the woman is only bouncing on the trampoline of that earlier abuse. And most likely she has the matching and opposite side of the abuse situation from her own family of origin. People pick people that they recognize the patterns of; it's a comfort zone thing... you knew how to deal with mom or dad, and essentially you'll know how to deal with someone who reminds you of them on an unconscious level. And there is always that desire to 'fix' one's childhood, by fixing people like those caregivers in your adult life.
And really, if someone is too stupid to figure out they are being lied too, then they are in for some grand learning opportunities eh?? I mean, fool me once, shame on you---fool me twice (or for 20 years!), shame on me!