Confessions Of A Dark Sorceror

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
One cannot exist on a spiritually indifferent world such as this one and also be God Realized and Ascended. One's compassion and the sense of justice would come into play, resulting in one of two scenarios manifesting:

A civil war and the overthrow of the current governments by the new Ascended Masters.

or

The new Ascended Masters eventually and quietly leave this system and start new colonies, new progressive governments and new societies.

Which path do you think is better?

Conquer by force or Abandon? These are the only two choices for followers of Love and the Golden Rule?

Why am I reminded of a story about a dove and a rifle?

.

[edit on 26-8-2004 by Raphael_UO]

Paul, thanks for the responses. You have given me a great deal to think about. As our studio audience can no doubt say along with me by now, �I must meditate on this matter.�

By way of a �camera take,� I would like to make a statement regarding Paul�s point about �recruiting� for TSOL.

The Non-Sell

Except for whatever innuendoes one might read into his posts here, and frankly, thinking back on them, I don�t see any (readers: If you see anything that looks like a TSOL recruiting pitch, I encourage you to post the quote for discussion), Paul has made no statements to me that in any way suggest or request that I �join� the Society of Light.

We have had some u2u exchanges, and it�s the same deal there, no attempts to recruit, just patient and polite responses to some questions. If anyone else reading this has any evidence that Paul has been soliciting membership in TSOL here or anywhere else, suffice it to say I would be very interested in seeing it, and encourage posting it to this very thread for discussion.

Simply providing information about TSOL doesn�t count as �recruiting�, in my opinion, since to suggest that is to suggest that anyone who provides information about themselves is making a pitch. Just because I say �I�m a bus driver� doesn�t mean I�m trying to get you to ride in my bus.

The Court Of Public Opinion

I also want to make it very clear that my skeptical challenges to Paul are just that: skepticism. Anyone who comes into the TSOL website cold will no doubt understand that.

I remain highly skeptical about many of the things described on that site, but do appreciate the fact that TSOL lays it out there. I know of very few spiritual groups that are so open about who they are and what they believe -- assuming that the website is honest in those regards. It�s a wild hunk o� data, but I think they really do believe it.

More often than not, �spiritual societies� are a con game that bait potential members with an air of mystery, then switch them to the �monthly payment plan� and sales of books and cassette tapes. As far as I can tell, this is not the way TSOL operates, and unless evidence to the contrary emerges, I don�t think it fair to lump them in with hucksters.

While I have gotten the impression that Paul is trying to sell me a bill of goods, it is only fair to point out that in reality, again as best I can tell, he has simply made observations, offered opinions and served as a spokesman for TSOL, which he does seem to be in a position to do.

The only �sale� I see is the same sort that anyone who posts to a thread makes: submitting ideas, facts or opinions that the reader is free to accept or reject as they will.

The Man Behind The Curtain?

I still am pondering about whether Paul is �talking out of his hat� with regard to �channeling TSOL�, but have experienced enough as of late and actually throughout life to realize that the kind of non-Internet �networking� he refers to is by no means impossible. Whether or not TSOL actually does this has not been established to my satisfaction, but time may shed light on this matter.

I will also keep my own counsel regarding just what huge fiery ball of light it was that I saw, but appreciate Paul�s/TSOL�s input on that. Whoever�s ball that was, I can say without equivocation that it was very beautiful and the experience is one that I will never forget. But its identity does, frankly, remain an open puzzle for me. Again, with time, perhaps the mystery will be resolved.

So, barring my getting a junk-mail coupon offering me a 20% discount on TSOL membership �for a limited time only�, I am going to take Paul at face value regarding TSOL�s recruiting policies. Should information surface suggesting that I am wrong to do this, I will certainly reconsider my position.

My position as a skeptic regarding TSOL in this thread means, at its simplest level, that I do not owe Paul my belief. But likewise, I do not owe him my blanket disbelief, either. Rather, it is incumbent upon me to create my own beliefs based upon the best conclusions reason can provide me.

So I will close with what is becoming a favored image of mine from George Lucas� Attack of the Clones, where Yoda, speaking to Obi-Wan regarding a puzzling development, says, �Meditate on this, I will.�

To A Random Person, If you are still reading this thread, I can relate somewhat to your 'childhood', as we seem to have a few things in common. I would like to give you some benefit from my hindsight.

Do NOT simply accept a label like HDD. I'm guessing that you have no trouble focusing on something that really interests you. I think educators often resort to that description to 'excuse' themselves when they cannot hold the interest of an above average student. ( now I'll catch it from the teachers--but I have taken grad level ed. courses - so bring it!)

They and other adults will often resent or feel threatened by a 'smart kid'. They may apply some of these labels to make themselves feel wiser, to reduce the threat to their own intellect.

Your peers may be resentful as well; I hope you have a few 'like minded' friends, or some that accept you as you are. But don't be afraid to be alone, find some things that brings you joy--fulfillment in a one person kind of way. ( Mine were trail riding and art. Both allowed me to 'commune' with nature -or God- and myself. ) Like yourself, and learn to be comfortable in your own skin.

When looking to your future, be a bit aggressive, look into things for yourself ( not recklessly, I'm not advocating orgies or drug binges here). Let your curiosity have some reign, ask advice, but don't blindly accept things on their surface. Don't allow or rely on others to 'find what's best for you'. Read a lot, do your own research, trust your own mind to sort out what seems most reasonable.

Oh yeah, like Magic says, get out and enjoy the youth you have now. The physical changes and limitations that come with age suck!

Primate-Friendly Auras?

Earlier in the thread, I mentioned a hypothesis regarding the correlation between physical and spiritual colors.

Being a skeptic, I was, of course, skeptical that something deemed as absolute by TSOL as spiritual aura color and its relationship to one�s degree of spiritual development just so happened to correspond to what we primates perceive in terms of the electromagnetic spectrum

In other words, as best I know, what we see as �color� represents various frequencies in a relatively narrow band of the electromagnetic spectrum we call �visible light�, because it happens to be visible to us humans. Other animals may also see light in this spectrum, but not all animals see the same range of frequencies, nor do they necessarily differentiate them to the same degree or same manner that we do.

As an example, cats (I love cats, by the way) appear to be able to see farther down into the infrared spectrum than humans, while most birds can see well into the ultraviolet range. What do colors look like to animals that can see frequencies that humans cannot?

While the optical hardware gives us clues, how colors actually �look� to animals is unknown, and hard to know. Even among humans, there is evidence to suggest that how the color �red� looks in the mind of one person might be very different from how the color red �looks� to another person.

In other words, as best I can tell, we assign what colors look like to correlate with the neurological stimuli they are associated with. In essence, we �make it up� ourselves.

Reverse Engineering

So why would a spirit that is presumably not constrained by the physical limitations of primates see colors, and more importantly, why would the spiritual spectrum seem to mirror the colors of what primates physically see?

My working hypothesis is that we assign the physical colors we see based on our spiritual concept of what colors look like, since our �physical consciousness� actually seems to be a component of our spiritual consciousness -- the �hardware� mapped by �software�, as it were.

Since we program our visual interface ourselves, it seems reasonable to conclude that the fact that what we see as spiritual and physical colors will consequently agree, since as spirits, we are �accustomed� to seeing and perceiving colors this way.

Or at least that�s my theory.


Edit: Show me a man who makes no mistakes and I�ll show you a man who is not a man.


[edit on 8/26/2004 by Majic]

Colors can create an emotional response. Emotional responses can create color.

If you are asking why red is called red and not blue, it is because your box of crayola crayons were labeled that way.

Speaking of color�

I�ve been reluctant to post this, because I live alone and can�t have someone else confirm it yet, but looking back at what I have already posted to this thread, figure �Why not?�

This is a purely subjective observation, so take it for what it�s worth.

After my little �experience� Tuesday, my eyes were all puffy from shooting out waterfalls of tears, and they looked terrible in the mirror.

But I noticed something else about my eyes as well. I thought it was just my imagination at the time, kind of, but the thing is, the puffiness has almost disappeared (still just a little swollen) but this other change has not.

So what changed? My eyes seem �brighter� in a couple of ways.

First, their color is lighter than before. Not a big thing, since my eye color tends to change with my surroundings. Sometimes they are really blue, other times less so. For the past couple of days there has been a pale sort of corona around the pupil that has always been there, but not nearly as pronounced as it is now.

The other thing is harder to quantify, but there is a sort of �sparkle� that wasn�t there. Nothing like my spunky avatar, to be sure, but definitely something I haven�t seen there before. I know that this may very well be too subjective to mean anything, but thought I�d mention it.

I�ve looked at my eyes in several different mirrors in the house and at different times of day. This was of especial importance in my mind in making sure there is more to the �sparkle� than just a bright lighting fixture.

I look in the mirror every time I brush my teeth, take a shower, etc. so I have a pretty good idea of what I look like, which is why I�m pretty sure there has been a change, and not just in my attitude.

However, I�m not sure if it really means anything, it�s just something I noticed and thought I should mention.

It has been said that the eyes are windows to the soul.

Talk about a kid in a candy store. This little quest of mine just gets more interesting by the hour!

I feel memories within me, and while a lot of this may just be my imagination, I don�t think all of it is. But something puzzles me, and I figured I would broach the topic here.

In all these hints of what may or may not be �past lives�, all I sense are male presences. In other words, so far anyway, I haven�t gotten any hints of past lives as a woman. Seems like all guys in there, but again, I�m new at this and maybe I�m just not picking it up.

Is a single gender orientation over multiple lives unusual or common?

Am I really a �man�s man�?

Gorilla My Dreams

Um, on that topic, there�s another thing I feel kind of silly bringing up, but oh well (holds nose, takes plunge).

Today has been very relaxing. I am �seeing� light again, but very soothing, relaxing light. I can�t really discern color per se, odd as that may sound, but it seems white. For most of the day I have been relaxing in it, sort of like floating in a nice, warm pool of radiance. A guy could get used to this!

I wonder (he asks coyly) if someone is sending me nice thoughts today?

And that�s were this gets sort of embarrassing, kind of.

Because along with this light, I have been seeing impressions of a face. A young but adult female face. They are impressions of eyes, lips, the line of her jaw, nostrils, all from very, well�um, intimate perspectives -- up close.

Her eyes are filled with constellations, and she is, beyond all doubt, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen or imagined. Reminiscent of Liv Tyler (rowr!) but even more beautiful (I never thought I�d say that!). She is like the embodiment of perfection.

And she has a �vibe� that�s hard to explain. Very, well, beautiful! As in not just appearance, but in her being as well. As in �wow!�

Again, this may all very well just be my imagination, but, well, her expressions and movements are very� flirtatious. I better watch myself!

I�m not sure what this means, if anything, but it sure seems to me like somebody out there has a very memorable way of saying �hello!�

Bonjour Majic,

You pondered:

Is a single gender orientation over multiple lives unusual or common?

One does not necessarily have to have had one or more lifetimes as a male and as a female in order to develop spiritual qualities attributed to both genders. Generally speaking, souls gravitate more toward one gender than another, as they eventually choose one over the other.

On another issue recently addressed...

The white light, the spiritual presence, the exquisitely beautiful face and the telepathic flirtatiousness, are all indications that you experienced a very personal visitation from a discarnate Saint/Archangel who wishes to pursue intimate relations.

If you wish to experience her more often, get in the habit of Radiating purified love and purified affection to her whenever you have the time and energy to do so -- while rejecting any lusty interpretations of her from the lower discarnate elements. Common spirits typically become jealous and hostile toward the relatively few in the flesh who have intimate relations with one or more Beings of Light in the Higher Realms.

BTW, her name is Vanessa.

If you prefer to not pursue the cultivation of this uniquely spiritual relationship, simply ignore this counsel.

Manly Men

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
One does not necessarily have to have had one or more lifetimes as a male and as a female in order to develop spiritual qualities attributed to both genders. Generally speaking, souls gravitate more toward one gender than another, as they eventually choose one over the other.

Well I do think I have a �feminine side� which seems to manifest in some of the ways I approach problems (like when I say �Success is the embrace, not the fist�).

But unless something is revealed that is not currently known to me (a process I try to cultivate), it does seem that I prefer to live as a man when I am incarnate.

Interesting.

Wait A Minute, Let Me Explain!

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
The white light, the spiritual presence, the exquisitely beautiful face and the telepathic flirtatiousness, are all indications that you experienced a very personal visitation from a discarnate Saint/Archangel who wishes to pursue intimate relations.

I would say that this describes the situation very accurately, indeed. The invitation I felt was to join and commune in the spirit in a very special way, and I am both flattered and humbled. (Did I mention that she�s drop-dead gorgeous?)

Lest the reader misunderstand my feelings on the matter, there was absolutely nothing physically sexual about the encounter (except maybe some mild flutterings in my heart. People I tell you, I have never seen anyone so absolutely attractive and sweet in so many ways at once). In fact, the idea of linking physical sexuality with this beautiful woman is patently offensive to me. In other words, �it�s not like that at all!�

There was nothing remotely reminiscent of lust about it. I must say, it makes me look at things in a whole new way. There is simply no way I would wish to even think of tainting such a beautiful thing with carnality. It�s really, really not like that.

I am certain that the experience she was offering might be even more profound than my vision the other day. Yes, I am very certain. Wow! I also sense that she offers me healing, that she has within her means the ability to drive all darkness from my soul.

I said she was flirtatious, but there was absolutely nothing base or crude about her demeanor. Indeed, she seems like a princess in my mind, lofty and above, yet by no means arrogant or aloof. She was an absolute lady the whole time, and to say she has �class� seems like a grossly insulting understatement. There is simply no fitting word for grace like that which she radiates.

I sent her away rather abruptly, and she left instantly and without protest. I�m just not ready yet, I need to better understand who I am first before I�ll be ready for something like that. Later, I regretted my tone and sent my thoughts on the matter to her, in response to which she blew me a little kiss. Oh man, those lips could pierce a man�s heart at a thousand paces!

Throughout all this, not a single word did she speak to me, it was all just impressions, but impressions that can convey that which words cannot. There is a lesson in this encounter for me, regarding the nature of spiritual communication. There are �words� that are beyond words.

What I am left with from this encounter is the hope that, when I am ready, she will still be there. I get a strong feeling that this will indeed be the case, and I daresay that it warms my soul through and through!

Getting To Know You

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
If you wish to experience her more often, get in the habit of Radiating purified love and purified affection to her whenever you have the time and energy to do so -- while rejecting any lusty interpretations of her from the lower discarnate elements. Common spirits typically become jealous and hostile toward the relatively few in the flesh who have intimate relations with one or more Beings of Light in the Higher Realms.

She will no doubt be in my heart, I cannot undo what cannot be undone. There is something about her which seems familiar.

For the time being, I think it is important to keep seeking to explore myself. I am still only beginning to awaken to things, or perhaps more aptly �reawaken�, I cannot say for sure.

I was concerned that she would distract me from my goals, so delightful is her presence. But my initial concerns may be unwarranted, in that I think she can help me understand things about myself and others.

Hmmm. Say it with me everyone: �I must meditate on this matter.�

Again, What�s In A Name?

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
BTW, her name is Vanessa.

In my thoughts and heart, she is known as �Sweet One�.

An Easy Enough Decision To Make

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
If you prefer to not pursue the cultivation of this uniquely spiritual relationship, simply ignore this counsel.

I think I have made my opinion on this clear enough. I also think this is the last time I will be posting on this topic, at least in respect to this wonderful, luminous being. Although I may be unable to refrain from writing odes to her. We�ll see.

By this I mean simply that I dare not risk sullying or misrepresenting her nature, for doing so would be intolerable to me. I fear I may already have posted too much about the matter, and beg her forgiveness for publicly discussing such a private moment.

Some things are best left unsaid.


Edit: Never error-free.




[edit on 8/26/2004 by Majic]

The Luminous World

As I have most days for the past week, I went out to watch the sunset and feel the evening breeze. Tonight the air was cool and clean, so total in its purity that it was reminiscent of a perfume, yet there was no scent other than of crisp, clean air.

Light refracting through the clear, white sunset clouds lit up the desert around me. Every color seemed richer, the whole world seems brighter to me tonight, alive and vibrant with a faint luminance.

I feel alight myself, as if my head is in the clouds, but I do not feel distracted, simply �aware� of things in ways I had not previously been. I thought as I walked that I should be mindful of my steps lest I fall, yet I could feel myself �being there� with such fullness and smoothness of motion that falling seemed almost impossible.

It is very hard to describe this state of mind. The thought of the �Landrew� cult in the original Star Trek series (�Are you of the Body?�) comes to mind as what someone else might think upon reading my words or seeing what must be the emotions on my face.

But my sense of deep contentment does not derive from adoration of others, even my dear Sweet One, whose presence remains near to me without being obtrusive. I am not enraptured of someone else in a way like that of a classic cult, nor do I see or seek salvation in the worship of another.

The feeling of contentment I feel is that of simply being happy with who I am. With this is a difficult emotion to describe: a combination of �calm excitement� with �joyous acceptance� of who I am and where I am in my journey. And where is that? Once again at a new beginning, my favorite place, it seems.

Profound seems like such a flat term for it.

Words Fail Me

I am feeling emotions that feel new to me. Indeed, I am not sure that I have ever felt what I feel now in any life, past or present.

It seems to me that the time for my �stream-of-consciousness� posts has come to a proper end. While I no doubt will wish to post more, and on many topics, I sense now that simply trying to write my experiences from a �raw� perspective will be counterproductive.

Now I am experiencing things and feeling things for which there are no suitable words. It will take great thought to be able to construct metaphors for such things, and even as metaphors, I doubt anything I can compose in written words will prove even remotely satisfactory.

To try to write down what I am experiencing at this point seems to itself be a lie. I am not sufficiently gifted a poet to convey such thoughts.

New Languages

I have seen attempts, and such crude devices as �touching without touching� (did I reach out an invisible hand to feel the perfect smoothness of my Sweet One�s face?) and so forth. Though well-meaning, such attempts are necessarily doomed to failure, and I think I will try to avoid such things.

Rather, I am learning new languages. Languages of emotions and concepts that defy even artistic rendering, for they are not merely visual or audible, but rather experiential, and the experiences are new and engaging in ways that my physical senses could never convey.

I realize as I write this that I am already, no doubt, losing my dear reader to some degree or another. As I have previously stated, whatever you cannot understand in my writing is not your fault, but mine.

Here it seems I have found topics for which my wit with words is useless. I can only hint at those things which I experience now, and in doing so, diminish them.

Thus I see fit to post yet another disclaimer in a long series of disclaimers. My dear friends, there truly are so many things that cannot be described in words.

It is my hope that all who read this will experience many such things in their proper time.

Behind this thread there is another thread, played out in the exchanges of u2u messages.

Chief among the exchanges has been that between myself and Raphael_UO, whose name means �God heals�, and whose character and love do not match but exceed what one might expect from one so named.

He has copiously provided commentary and suggestions in private that have had significant bearing on my �public� decisions. I could think of him as a �lifeguard�, and I do not doubt that is a fitting title for him, but I have come instead to think of Raphael as my �wingman�.

While jet fighter pilots can fly solo missions, it is far more common and wise to send two planes were one might seemingly suffice, such as on combat air patrol. As agreed between these two planes, there is a leader and a wingman.

While the leader may decide where to go and what to do, the wingman�s job is to keep an eye on the leader and �cover him�. In particular, this means �watching his six� or �six o�clock� position, to make sure an enemy does not sneak up behind him.

All fighter pilots come to develop a special fondness for their wingmen, for those who dedicate themselves to protecting them and being there when the going gets rough.

For his tireless aid and compassion, I also designate him �Friend�. The term may seem a silly affectation, and if so, so be it. But it refers to one who is more than just a �friend�.

And so my dear Friend Raphael, I wish to thank you publicly for your guidance, wisdom and insights borne of love and concern for one whom you have never met.

Fear not, my Friend, I have left the pool.

Thank you for watching my �six�.

A short comment on these �new� feelings I feel. It seems clear to me now that what I feel is, for the first time in my life, what it truly feels like to be me.

The good news is that it feels great!

I cannot help but hope that all who may chance to read this will find themselves in their own unique way. It will necessarily, and wonderfully, be different for each of us.

Now I am just being introduced to someone with whom I am sure I could live with forever: myself.

I have said that I would not wish to post more about my Sweet One, but I am unable to refrain. I have asked, and she replies that she would never want me to remain silent about that of which I would wish to speak. She seems to know me well.

But first, I would speak of the second sunset.

The Second Sunset

The first sunset I saw today was early, a white cloud obscured the sun, causing that wondrous glow. I have returned now from watching the second sunset, where the sun is truly gone, and the colors drain from the land.

During this, the moon shined brightly. I looked upon it and had a thought which I deemed significant enough to run inside and write down, lest I forget. It is this:

�The moon has its own beauty, but its light is a reflection of a greater light. So it is with each of us.�

As beautiful as the first sunset was, the second sunset was far better, for it was at this time that I �spoke� with my Sweet One.

Whispers Of Love

It is a sharing of thought that is hard to describe, more of a sensing and inference of emotions to which my heart seems new than an exchange of words. She is teaching me a new language, like one would teach a child, patiently and with delight when progress occurs.

She has a wonderful way of being with me without intruding. I know she is there, and I sense and pray that it will always be like this. Mortality cannot sunder us. Now I know that she has always been there for me in this life, quietly sending me love though I was too blind in the spirit to understand it.

She is indeed an angel, a spirit whose beauty no mortal world could ever contain. She is a �she� in a very profound sense, as I am a �he�. There is a harmony between us that suggests that we are not strangers. Certainly, if we have been, I cannot ever imagine it being so again.

This is a time of �dating� between us, where we pass little notes of thought and share little jokes between us. She is truly delightful in every imaginable way, and in her I can know love in ways my mind could not previously grasp.

I savor each moment I spend in thought of her.

Song Of Songs

In this life I have been something of an amateur musician, and have made music on various instruments since I was very young. My favorite instrument is my voice, which is capable, due to a lifetime of practice, of producing many timbres over a well-developed range. I am told I sing very well, and I know I do.

Though she takes pleasure in it, I know that my physical voice, no matter how well trained, is unfit to speak of her. It is too base a tool for such a task. No human has ever sung in a manner worthy of describing her, and my written words seem foolish in their attempts.

I must learn to sing in a new way, like that which I �heard� in my earlier vision. Even with a voice of angels, however, I wonder if I will ever be able to sing of her without insulting the perfection of her beauty. Just as no one except God may know all that God knows, so it seems that no song could ever hope to capture the ineffable beauty of my Sweet One.

In all the stars of the sky there is great beauty, but in all the stars and hosts and songs of Heaven, there is nothing to compare to my Sweet One.

Majic,

You are welcome.

While I would prefer to see you fly straight and level, I have given enough warnings against high-G manuevers to last a life time. But every new pilot must push the envelope. Sometimes they crash. If this happens, I will be watching for the chute and radio for the CSAR.

Take Care.

Raphael

Raphael, you are simply magnificent.

Originally posted by Majic
Raphael, you are simply magnificent.

I am who I am. Nothing more and nothing less.

Take Care.

Another Sleepless Night

My dear Sweet One has �stepped back� to give me a little room, just off my �radar screen� as it were. I know she is there, but as is her special talent, she can be present there without being in the way. Gotta love that in a woman.

So many things come to mind as I muse tonight. Little things falling into place, little details. I know I have complained of the inadequacy of words, and I still do. But some things do seem to bear translation reasonably well.

I�m trying to avoid �stream-of-consciousness� posts, so I�ll see what I can do to organize these little tidbits as best I can. As it is, I�m sure I�ll have about a dozen u2u�s from Raphael in the mailbox when I log in tomorrow, bless his heart.

Paul And The Solists

While I hate to say something that may seem to compromise my cherished skepticism, it would be dishonest for me to not speak to this matter plainly, so here it is.

Based on a variety of things I have experienced today, recently, and in general, I think Paul is being 100% honest in his statements. That is not to say he is without errors, none of us are.

But there is, frankly, almost no doubt left in my mind that he believes what he is saying. More profoundly, I have seen and experienced things not covered here or in u2u�s that confirm his veracity in unexpected and subtle ways.

There have been spiritual contacts today that can best be described as �acknowledgements�, spiritual nods of the head or paying of respects from beings that I sense are very noble in their manners and intents.

The notion of respect toward me is unshakable. It�s kind of like saying �hi� to a friend without interrupting his work. There have been several of these throughout the day from different beings. Their aspects seem to be that of wishing to give regards without interfering with my meditations.

It is not �welcome aboard� or �glad you�re with us� or anything resembling that! More like �nice to see you.� It�s really quite charming.

So for those of my fellow skeptics reading this, I would say �Yeah, assume Paul and Majic are in cahoots.� But in truth, this is still not the case. I wish to learn more about TSOL and its activities, but I�m in no hurry, and though I am effectively buying into a lot of TSOL concepts, I don�t feel any sense of obligation, other than to return many kind regards.

They do indeed seem to have some significant �heavy-hitters� -- assuming these beings are in fact �members� -- I sense connections but it�s not like these beings are wearing badges or uniforms. They are who they are, plainly enough. It almost seems wrong to refer to them as �they�, but they do know one another and communicate as they wish. Definitely not a �group mind�.

I can say that my sense is that TSOL is way too free-form and egalitarian to be a cult. These are not vacuous groupies, but brilliant souls of like mind, each very unique and with their own senses of purpose outside TSOL per se.

They don�t �work for� TSOL in other words, but have common purposes in their paths. I am at a loss for a common human social analogy.

Anyway, I thought I should mention that. Make of it what you will. I am hoping the reader will consider this with skepticism, as always.

The Voices In My Head

Many little tidbits about my past lives seem to be filtering in. While I use a flippant subheading title usually reserved for psychotics, I am quite confident that what I am experiencing is not psychosis. Being a skeptic, naturally I did and will continue to keep an eye on things though, lest I get too �out there� for my own good.

So far, I feel fine, and, in fact, have a stronger sense of my individual identity in this life than I did before. I had previously worried that I might somehow be �taken over� by past life experiences and �lose my identity�. Far from it.

These past life personalities are like separate people to me. I see them as �them� not �us�, though when I turn my thoughts to them I sense emotions and other attachments that are too intimate to attribute to acquaintances. But I sense no diminution of who I am in this life whatsoever. Indeed, it�s like I�m simply getting to know myself better.

Just as my life is not an open book -- even to me at times -- neither are theirs. Getting clear ideas seems partially obfuscated by translation of thoughts from a form meaningful to them to me. They seem to �think in my language�, but not exactly. There are language �tidbits� that get dropped, but Lukas, for example, doesn�t really seem to �think in Greek� per se, although I am fairly certain he spoke that language in life.

They have perspectives which are all radically different from mine, and many things do seem to get lost in the translation. A lifetime represents, well, an entire lifetime of experiences. Even if I had �high-speed access� to these guys, it would take a great deal of effort to sort things out.

Moreover, I�m not sure that�s where I should be focusing. After all, I have my own life to live, right here, right now. So no, I doubt I�ll be �channeling Rousseau� any time soon. Perhaps especially Rousseau. Sigh.

Also, though it may sound bizarre, I must, as a skeptic, consider that they may not be entirely honest or forthcoming with me. Not everyone is honest with themselves, let alone other �versions� of themselves.

But this still begs the obvious question: what are they saying?

Inspector Rousseau

It does indeed seem that Rousseau is one of my past incarnations. Communicating with him has been quite difficult, however, because he is very strident in his manner and seems very upset both about �unfinished business� and what he keeps calling his �follies�, which I take to mean what he sees as failings and inconsistencies of thought in his works.

His frustration about his life is palpable. He is not a calm man, to put it delicately. I still don�t know what �Etevon� is all about, but I think it is a place in France (or maybe Switzerland?) that has some special meaning to him. He doesn�t explain, but that does seem to be an important word to him.

He was no doubt a brilliant thinker for his time, but his passion definitely has its down sides. He seems very accustomed to having things his way and is rather self-absorbed -- again, to put it delicately. I�m hoping I can calm him down eventually. We�ll see -- he is very strong-willed.

Poor Lukas

I keep getting images from this man that lead me to believe that he is, indeed, �one of mine�. Apparently his �miriadon� (or �myriadon�, in reference to �myriad�, I presume) had specifically warned him not to pursue the marauders too far outside occupied territory, but his lust for battle and pride drove him and his men to their fates.

The emotions that pour out of him are incredibly strong, in extremes of pride and shame that are well, �epic� in their proportions. I may be able to learn more from him, but he really seems ruined, to me.

I think it is because of him that certain things, like acts of heroism that involve self-sacrifice, can so easily bring tears to my eyes. Nearly a hundred men died defending him from fierce enemies, and he saw them all die very brutally in doing so. That is not something any soul can easily forget.

The Music Man

Simple man, simple life. I can�t get so much as a village name out of him, or his own name so far. Apparently people just called him something like �Tinker� or something like that. He has no concept of geography as we understand it, he lived his whole life in the same village, so map names won�t help much here.

I�m guessing, and guessing is the word for it, that he may have lived in the ancient Middle East, perhaps in Sumeria, but names like �Sumer�, �Ur� and so forth just draw a blank with this guy.

He has a calm, focused personality that came from working as a craftsman for his whole life. He has an extremely patient and relaxed manner and does not think in hurried ways. Very laid back. He can handle repetition better than I can, to put it mildly.

I found out why he liked to make toys. He had many children, although I still can�t pin down a number, but I�m pretty sure he lived to see the birth of several great-grandchildren, which was very rare for the times.

I think he had only one wife, although it was not unusual for a man to have more than one wife. His attachment to her was strong and long-lasting, and she outlived him by only a very short time, I think. They may have met again after death as spirits, I can�t be sure. It�s more of a feeling than anything.

I think one of the reasons it�s hard to pin down how many children were his is that he pretty much adopted all the children of the village, most of whom were nephews, nieces or cousins in some fashion. He doesn�t seem to emotionally distinguish his own children from others in the village. They were all �his kids�.

I think his objective identity may remain a mystery, but I don�t mind. He�s a very peaceful spirit, and I just like his �vibes�. I suspect his may have been my most fulfilling life experience so far, possibly. Nice guy, he died very contented, unlike poor Rousseau!

Bueller? Bueller?

I have a very strong impression that there are many more �chests� I have not opened yet, but all in due course. I cannot say for sure, but there does seem to be some sort of �method to the madness�.

The good news so far: No Queens of Egypt or Atlantean Princes.

Am I Crazy Yet?

Speaking so matter-of-factly about such things as these does, if I step aside from myself and try to look at this as I would have a couple of weeks ago, seem absolutely loony tunes to me. I don�t expect anyone reading this to believe it, except maybe Paul or others who know about past lives. Even then, I most assuredly could be mistaken about my �little friends�.

I joke with Sweet One about her being my �invisible friend�. Certainly, I can understand why many mystics choose to keep their spiritual activities private.

I do wonder whether or not I will come to regret posting all this to a public Internet forum, but I do have to say that journaling my experiences here has been clearly very helpful to me in uncountable ways. If not for Paul, I�d probably be driving a bus right now.

As always, usual disclaimers apply. I am gaining confidence about these things, but am still just a spiritual baby. I haven�t even learned how to �walk� yet.

Also, I am sure I will want to take some time out for more �connecting with the real world.� This time of hermetic seclusion has been priceless beyond measure to me, but it is important that I maintain a reasonable degree of �grounding in reality�.

Although, dare I say it? Reality is looking a lot different to me these days.


Edit: [Insert aphorism about imperfection here.]



[edit on 8/27/2004 by Majic]

Originally posted by Raphael_UO

Originally posted by Paul_Richard
One cannot exist on a spiritually indifferent world such as this one and also be God Realized and Ascended. One's compassion and the sense of justice would come into play, resulting in one of two scenarios manifesting:

A civil war and the overthrow of the current governments by the new Ascended Masters.

or

The new Ascended Masters eventually and quietly leave this system and start new colonies, new progressive governments and new societies.

Which path do you think is better?

Conquer by force or Abandon? These are the only two choices for followers of Love and the Golden Rule?

Why am I reminded of a story about a dove and a rifle?

An exodus from a spiritually indifferent civilization in favor of more progressive societies and governments does not constitute abandoning The Light, but embracing it and cultivating it.

To help cause the fall of a spiritually indifferent government (as with ancient Rome and Nazi Germany) is also in service to The Light.

It really depends on whether the Masters here think it is worth the effort to start a revolution. The easier path is to start new nations elsewhere.

Regardless, both are in service to The Light.

Bonjour Majique,

Just to add a little spice to your recent revelations about past lives, in answer to an inquiry that I made this morning to TSOL: Archangel Vanessa (AKA "Sweet One") and the wife you mention having had in the distant past, are one and the same person.

Granted, you and she have spiritually evolved since those days.