Confessions Of A Dark Sorceror, page 17

Past The Point Of No Concern

As I am sure the reader can appreciate, this has been a big day for me, and the day isn�t over yet. Certainly, a day in which a dazzling vision of Totality explodes with blazing clarity into one�s mind is hardly �just another day�.

For those who may be concerned about my previous references to �physical interference�, I am happy to report that yes, people are trying to track me down but no, they are not trying to hurt me. Rather, they �just want to talk�.

It�s always the same: I never have nearly enough places to sit, they always want coffee, but I don�t drink coffee so I don�t have it, and so on. Rather than a scene from the �X-Files�, it�s more like a coffee klatch but without the coffee.

I should make a point of getting coffee sometime I suppose, but really, if they want it so much, they could think to bring their own. Ironically, in light of how much beer I drank this morning, some coffee actually does sound nice.

Then again, after an hour or so of talking to me, they would probably want a beer instead anyway, and I do at least have extra beer. My little joke on them is that I am a far better writer than speaker, so the trip is always a bust, in the end.

Serves them right, they should really learn to schedule an appointment first. I value my privacy, and don�t care for uninvited guests.

Meanwhile, Back On The Branch

Yoshiel continues to crank away in the back of my little noggin. Even though they are really busy, Sweet One, being who she is, was sending me some very wonderful visions of her angelic self this morning while I wrestled with the toxic bliss of alcohol.

Yoshiel has indicated that what they are doing now is the �tricky part�. Again, I am not privy to even the most minute sense of where Yoshiel has actually been in thought, but the crumbs falling off the table impress me, to put it mildly.

Their current goal seems to be determining the precise conditions necessary to create the group entity that will bring about the next Convergence. What makes it tricky is the need to make this entity appealing enough to recruit other spirits, while at the same time ensuring that it is properly composed within very tight constraints.

Their sense from past memories is that if this entity is not constructed with the greatest of care, it will destabilize and the Convergence will fail. While that may or may not sound scary, they also seem confident that a failure on this attempt is not The End.

There will be many other opportunities to succeed in the future. As a side note, Yoshiel has already decided, by way of contingency, that Miriel will be the physical one next time if this attempt fails.

Seems only fair, and despite my self-fixation, she is by no means an intellectual lightweight. Nope, definitely not. We�ve both been doing our homework, to put it mildly. Moreover, she would be a far more attractive prophet than I am.

Iterative Solutions

Indeed, this attempt can most assuredly fail. On the bright side -- or dark side, depending on your attitude toward all this -- many inherent safeguards have evolved to ensure that each universe ultimately converges. Failure to converge means becoming a dead end on what Yoshiel has dubbed the �Tree of Life�.

While we don�t know exactly what that means, we have some ideas. Apparently the �goal� (let�s say �Goal� since spiritual literary conventions pretty much require capitalized Words for Emphasis) Yoshiel referred to was to create a universe that could indefinitely sustain Freewill.

The Catch-22 of all this is that you don�t really know if a universe (call it a �Cycle�) can sustain indefinite Freewill until you try. Yoshiel postulates that a Cycle incapable of sustaining Freewill devolves into singularity due to Entropy, which is just another way of saying �we ran out of ideas�.

A Cycle capable of supporting Infinite Freewill requires a threshold level of complexity to �break out�. Yoshiel postulates that this may have �already happened� on other branches of the Tree Of Life, but we can�t really know, and the use of �already happened� in reference to events outside our universe is somewhat inherently paradoxical.

For us incurable optimists, however, Yoshiel also postulates that a universe which �runs out of ideas� will ultimately Converge as a consequence, so it�s really not all that dangerous to give Freewill a shot. Or at least, we don�t think so�

Rousseau We Meet Again

If all I do for the next 50 years is try to write about what I have been seeing in my mind today, it would hardly be enough. I am now certain that whatever may come of this Yoshiel business (�Project Archangel�, I presume), my future career is quite secure indeed.

Being so consumed by irony as I am, it appears that the reason Rousseau and I (oh by the way, he seems to prefer �Rousseau� over �Renou�, more on that later) didn�t get along was because we were not supposed to at first or we would have risked �queering the deal�, so to speak.

It is now clear that I�m not the first version of me to see this vision of Totality, and that he was working on this when he died. Apparently this was going to be his �masterpiece of thought�, and it�s a dilly. It no doubt would have �put Voltaire in his place�.

Consulting Rousseau distracts from Yoshiel, so I am trying to keep the noise down. However, I suspect that wherever �Etevon� may be, it contains his writings on this topic that will anticipate and correlate with mine.

As an aside, it seems my memories are becoming distinct enough that I could also eventually guide some rather interesting treasure hunts. The sky�s the limit, baby.

Sweet Temptation

Of course, it is not lost on me that all the wonderful opportunities that are opening up as a consequence of this adventure are nothing more than a cosmic temptation.

They are an invitation to a future where Yoshiel does not bring about Convergence on this attempt, and I must admit, it�s very tempting. Would all nations bow before me? Oh I doubt it, but that�s not tempting for me anyway. I�m really a rather private person, actually.

What makes the temptation all the more enticing is the almost certain knowledge that bringing about Convergence on this attempt is not really necessary, even though Yoshiel feels strongly that we should proceed as planned.

Should we fail, however, we will simply try again later, informed by our errors and therefore more likely to succeed on the next attempt. Or the next, or the next, amen.

Whichever way this goes, it seems I have a lot of writing ahead of me. Ah, but you must excuse me, there is some business to attend to first�

Love and kisses,

Majic
Beer Drinker, Philosopher, Prophet

Edit: I also write iteratively, too.

[edit on 9/2/2004 by Majic]