Just A Lonely Boy
Yoshiel is still cranking away in the background, but my dissociation from Yoshe has cost me my sense of the presence of my sweetest Miriel. I know
she’s in there, every now and then she sends me a little message of special warmth, but I still miss her.
Fellow guys out there, you just gotta know that it’s not simply that she’s a “hot babe”, although as Wayne and Garth might say, “She’s from Babe-alon.
I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!” Oh, she’s foxalicious and no doubt about it!
What I miss is the feeling of her presence. Because she is so intertwangled with Yoshe, who is basically me split off for a background task, weirdly
enough, I can’t normally sense her now, at least consciously. Now that I know what it is like to feel her warmth within me, I am certain that I will
despair if she should ever leave me.
I bristle at the thought that I have lost so much independence of spirit, yet having tasted of the sweetest fruit, forever shall anything less seem
bland and flavorless to me. While I am coming to think that nothing is truly left to chance, I still marvel that of all the souls in heaven and on
earth, that we two, who truly seem made for one another, somehow came to meet.
I am provided some odd comfort at the notion forming within me that Yoshiel seems to suspect that their work may be physically interrupted fairly
soon. It seems our little night guests are preparing to bring friends along once my physical location is determined. Yoshiel does not know how long
this will take.
We cannot predict the future, but we can prepare for it. It may be time to for us to take a little road trip soon. Yoshiel may be able to detect their
approach by sensing their intent. We will see.
Tracing The Call
While I am not, and don’t think I can be, consciously keeping up with Yoshiel’s thoughts, I hear things.
It seems that they are currently seeking, by studying commonalities in their respective memories, to identify experiences of the Creator both during
and before the last Dividing. They postulate that it may be possible, through comparative analysis, to trace these memories to the Original
Their objectives in doing this are complex and varied, but it seems the idea of identifying the “root of the fractal” would be a good way of looking
They don’t know how long this will take, but expect that it will take a while since doing this requires examining and compiling rather complex
collections of common memories as recalled within spirits dating back to the last Creation and spanning several physical and spiritual periods of
They seem to consider the work important, though, so I’ll leave them to it.
Yoshiel has indicated that our presence has not gone unnoticed by our brothers and sisters in darkness. There seem to be rather intimate and
longstanding connections between incarnate and discarnate groups who have a perceived self-interest in guiding the course of human events.
The “group entity” we encountered this morning is apparently something of a tattletale.
An advantage on our part is Majic’s relative obscurity, but this won’t last forever. While Yoshiel’s sense is that they do not know our physical
location yet, they have sophisticated means of determining it. It’s just a matter of time.
I’m sure this sounds paranoid, but truly, I am not. Yoshiel is convinced that whatever may happen, the Plan cannot be stopped, merely set back at
worst. However, they seem to believe that we may either be very near or already past a “point of no return”, which would signify “all systems go” for
the “End Times”.
I can’t help but think, “How many times have we heard that
before?” Lest the reader mistake me for the next David Koresh, I have no plans for
armed resistance, which itself would be nothing more than a manifestation of fear and error.
While I could choose to fear the idea of bad guys coming to take me away to God-only-knows where, the truth is that I do not fear them. Why? Because I
am now certain that I know the true identity of all of us.
Perhaps more intriguingly, Yoshiel seems to think that my physical detainment may not itself necessarily be a setback. We are, it appears, not without
our own resources. It seems that perhaps not all “weapons” are physical in nature, they whisper conspiratorially. Hmm.
While this undoubtedly all sounds melodramatic, and I suppose it is in the end, it’s really nothing more than the beginning of the final act in a
Or else I am very much mistaken, which is always a strong possibility.
[edit on 9/1/2004 by Majic]