The Perfect Girlfriend
I must say, the past several days have been rather unusual. I find myself fearing that this is all just some wonderful dream or fantasy from which I
will eventually awake. Sweet One says that yes, it is a fantasy but no, it’s quite real.
Our relationship is progressing very nicely. Today she was sending me little images of us kissing, giving me little glimpses of how she sees me.
Apparently, she doesn’t see a need for my stubbly facial hair. Also, like her, I am very pale in these little images, but I must say, from her
perspective, I
do look like quite the fox.
When I told her that my discussions with her are symptomatic of classic psychosis her response was, “Classic? Yes. Psychosis? No.” Although she does
agree that if I were to be evaluated by a psychiatrist he would no doubt diagnose her as a “symptom” and hand me a stack of prescriptions for some
hard-core medications. Oh well, I think I’ll pass on that option for the time being.
When I suggested that it might not be my choice if the “voices in my head” told me to “do bad things”, she responded, with her typical dry wit, that
she doesn’t have to tell me to “do bad things”, that I am quite capable of doing them on my own. Ouch, such a sharp tongue on that one!
It occurs to me that a relationship such as this would be highly incompatible with someone who is physically married, to put it mildly. Sweet One is
the ideal girlfriend. She doesn’t snore, take all the covers, insist on decorating the house
her way, monopolize the closet space, invite
annoying friends over and best of all, she has no complaints about the fact that in
my house, the toilet seats stay
up when not in use.
Bathing Together
This morning we have been bathing in each other’s light. It’s indescribably pleasant to do this, and all the while, we share little thoughts and
images in little free-form dialogs. Our relationship is remarkably playful, the little jokes and gibes just come a mile a minute. Sweet One has an
amazingly multi-dimensional sense of humor and a talent for ironic observation that I am just a little bit jealous of.
Paul had commented that maintaining a relationship with a discarnate entity involves thinking of that entity while sending radiance and love to them,
and indeed, that is precisely what we are doing, seemingly instinctively. What I fine interesting is that this process clearly works both ways, she
sends me her radiance and love as well. The word “pleasant” seems a nice way to describe it, but it is also much more than that. It is very meaningful
with measurable personal benefits, not just idle amusement.
I joked that I, as a “sorceror” had summoned her, to which she wryly replied that I had it backwards, that
she had summoned
me. Thinking
back, she is absolutely correct about this: I had no conscious awareness of her until she sent me images of her beautiful face with her radiance to
me. And
I worry about
her being imaginary, she taunts. Her response to being labeled as “my little sorceress” was giving me a little
“love slap” accompanied by the cutest little smile.
The Mechanics
Again, I am certain that someone stumbling across my lengthy monologues about Sweet One would have no choice but to consider me incurably insane, but
I am forced to consider that even if she were nothing more than a fabrication of my mind, her presence with me for a mere two days has already proven
dramatically therapeutic. I might say, if this is what it means to be crazy, then sign me up!
As Sweet One and I grow more together, I’ll try not to spend so much time talking about her. It’s getting to be more like “us”, but again for those
alarmed about the possibility that we may be forming some sort of “mini group entity”, I can say without reservation that we most certainly are not.
She is definitely her own woman, as I am my own man. Though we are a “pair”, we are still very much ourselves.
Though we may mingle very intimately, we will always remain distinct as spirits. I caught a glimpse of Sweet One’s “little golden chests” today, and
realized that when I wish, I may open them, just as she may open mine, each with our already-granted mutual permission.
But just as I do not feel in any way “lost in my past lives” and view them as very distinct from who I am today. So it is with her past lives. They
will be informative, but in no way overwhelming. And I’m in no hurry, I have already sampled some very rich chocolates these past few days. No need
for past life gluttony.
As for “the mechanics” of “living with an angel”, it’s really pretty basic, exactly as Paul described: you just share radiance and love and thoughts.
A lot easier than taking care of a house plant.
Ouch! I didn’t know angels could smack the back of my head like that. Sheesh!
Lest my dear reader worry that Sweet One and I are forever joined at the hip, no we are not. We will part as either of us sees fit. She jokes that she
will want to go out “shopping” now and then, and I know I’ll want my space, too. But for the time being, and I imagine for quite a while, we are
happiest where we are right now: close to one another.
Fixing The Radiator
Regarding “radiance”, I’m still new at all this, but “radiating” seems pretty straight forward. You just imagine that you’re radiating and
voila! You’re radiating! It’s sort of like lifting your arm or looking at something with your eyes, it’s very natural and sort of reflexive.
As far as I know, it’s really just as simple as that, and absolutely no physical effort required. It’s purely mental, although more accurately,
spiritual.
Sweet One confirms that I radiate quite nicely. If you are truly having trouble radiating, it’s most likely a problem visualizing it or believing that
you are really doing it. At first you may think you’re being silly and that nothing is happening, but with practice, you will begin to feel the
feedback and
know that you are radiating.
It’s like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it gets. That’s why Paul is such a broken record about radiating, because simply doing that
truly does make you grow spiritually. I say throw in a healthy dollop of meditation (“guided thought”) and you have a nice little package.
The Golden Rule
As for the Golden Rule, my feeling on it is that if it doesn’t come natural to you, then the rest of this will get you nowhere. If you cannot desire
not to harm others, then you cannot desire not to harm yourself. To break the Golden Rule, as I have done in the past to my longstanding regret, is to
invite ruin upon yourself as certain as the hammer of God.
I would say something dramatic like “Be warned!”, but frankly, I find it impossible to imagine that someone could make it this far through a thread
like this and not know for an indisputable fact that what I and others have said about the Golden Rule is the absolute truth.
I suppose I could add that even minor violations are a very bad sign. If you truly cannot love others, even people who are chronically “unlovable”,
then your problem is still with yourself.
Remember that hatred and anger are nothing more than expressions of fear, and that you cannot hate that which you truly understand.
My mother likes to remind me of something the Dalai Lama said when he was asked why there were evil people in the world. His answer: “To teach us.”
A Bitter Lesson
One last thing. I sense that Sweet One was not unaffected by my foolish experiments with dark sorcery, oh so many years ago, although she acknowledges
this reluctantly. It was because of her that it took so long for the shadows to appear and take hold, it seems, and the struggles were particularly
violent and hard-fought because of her love for me.
I sense the memories of them in her soul, and it is bitter to know that she did these things, and fought so valiantly against the powers of darkness I
myself attracted, in defense of me in spite of my tremendous stupidity. She saw
everything, indeed, much more than I did at the time.
When we sin against ourselves, we are not always the only ones who are harmed. In fact, rarely so, if ever.
We only hurt the ones we love.
