posted on Aug, 15 2011 @ 09:29 PM
the more the focus of my mind goes inward, deeper and deeper in a search for truth, and the more insane and mind-blowing truth i discover. the more
difficult and nearly impossible it becomes to share my thoughts. there are many things i would love to express, things i think would help you if i
could share them. but cant seem to. words dont seem able to encompass the ideas. i want nothing less than to take the thought out of my head and put
it into yours, but how? lol
saying these things out loud IS impossible now, mainly because i have no one around me that shares the same sort of "reference points".. if i dont
think someone is going to understand what i am saying, i cant say it, because they will only misunderstand and that will cause "negative karma" of a
i can rarely manage on the internet, because the audience is so vast, i just pretend im talking to myself lol. but lately... so often i have tried,
and i have to keep editing and editing and adding and explaining.. i end up deleting the post because it just becomes nonsense. inside my head its a
simple thing, but when i try to pull it out it becomes a monster. and if i go ahead and post it anyway, many people seem drawn to these posts, but
then it is so hard to keep talking because i feel i barely expressed the idea, so... and again.. this is getting hard to express. but its like im
trying to share a thought with people, literally, and when the thought sort of goes off, i lose it and cant come back to it....
when i am able to talk with people it always tends towards superficial. i can express myself as well as i feel like on things that dont matter at all.
even here, i get sucked into political threads even though, deep down, i know better.. i just want to talk to people.
but what i really want to express and talk about is the whole REAL DEEP "human condition"... i would need several decades.. and it would end up a